Page 15 of A Summer of New Beginnings
Herown eyes stung and she chewed the inside of her cheek. ‘Oh, wow! That’s incredible.’ She did her best to sound enthusiastic but there was still a niggle of hurt and betrayal at the back of her mind. This was clearly something he wanted desperately. ‘Yeah. I’m so excited. I don’t know how long they’re staying but Katie has promised I can see him lots whilst they’re here. Saying goodbye will be so hardbut I’m not focusing on that right now. I’m staying positive. I have aten-year-old son, Zara. Shit!’
She held out her hands, unsure how to deal with it all. ‘You sure do.’
Josh’s smile disappeared. ‘This was why I invited you tonight. I was supposed to cook you dinner and ply you with wine and kisses before I told you the truth. I was in such a rush before you got here that I forgot to movethe latest frame full of pictures that Katie sent me.’
Was the talk of plying her with alcohol and kisses supposed to be funny? Because she wasn’t laughing.
He stared at her for a few moments as if awaiting her response, but when none came he placed down his glass and took her hand. ‘Look, I know this is all a hell of a lot to take in. And I know that you and I are going to have more talkingto do about this, but I really hope this doesn’t change things. I really care about you. I think we have something special here. What do you think?’ The former sadness and then joy had now been replaced by hope in his eyes.
She had no idea what to say. Of course it changed things but she just wasn’t sure how. His son lived in Australia so it wasn’t as if things would be impacted too much. Katiehad clearly moved on if she had managed to stay away for so long. And the truth was Zara really,reallywanted a future with Josh. He was almost a perfect package. She had gone from hoping he was about to tell her he loved her, to then thinking he was going to ask her to live with him, to finally discovering he had a ten-year-old son and a former true love. Talk about a roller-coaster ride ofemotions. She really needed time to process it all.
She tried to imagine life without Josh in it but the brief moment she envisaged that reality her chest ached and she wanted to scream. Okay, so he had a child and an ex but so many men did, and women too. And most people got on just fine in those situations so why would this be any different? She adored him. And, okay, he’d kind of lied to herbut he’d had his reasons, hadn’t he? And he’d been going to tell her tonight, it just happened that she had found the photos and forced the issue. Her inner dialogue continued with both the angel and the devil on opposing shoulders almost coming to blows over what her next step should be.
‘Zara?’ Josh’s voice was tinged with worry now.
She turned to face him. His crumpled brow and teary eyesmade him appear so utterly bereft. Without thinking, she launched herself into his arms and kissed him passionately. All the confusion and questions manifested in a heated exchange that went so much further than she had anticipated. Not that she really had planned any of this. But before she knew it she was naked and tangled in Josh’s arms in his bed, gasping in ecstasy as he kissed and touched everyinch of her sensitive flesh. As he moved above her, his breathing heavy and his eyes filled with hunger, he smiled and she was done for. This sensitive, funny, passionate man had so many facets and a heart of gold and she was on the verge of letting go and just telling him exactly how she felt regardless of this new side to him. Tumbling incoherently and willingly into something scary and unknownbut exhilarating at the same time. All she had to do was give in. And when he smiled down at her in the heat of that moment she lost her grip.
