Page 49 of Body Language
Hair brushed, skin still damp like she just showered, wearing one of her old satin robes. Not a full transformation, but compared to what I was used to? Shit, it was the glow up of the decade.
Her hand was pressed against her stomach.
“What are you doing?” I asked, brow raised.
She smirked faintly, leaning against the doorframe. “Layin’ down. Been a few days, I wasn’t feeling too hot. Head hurting. Stomach been actin’ up.” She gave a short laugh. “Shittin’ all over myself too. Child, I ain’t took this many baths in years.”
I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. A new bed. Clean sheets. Even some wall decor.
“Ma…” I said slowly, stepping inside. “Where the hell all this come from?”
She smiled, proud like she’d done it herself. “Couple days ago, somebody came knocking. Said they was sent here to do all this for me. Next thing I know, whole place spotless. New furniture, groceries, everything.”
I narrowed my eyes. “And who exactly is this mysterious somebody?”
Her grin widened, and she leaned closer like she had a secret. “That fine young man you brought through here the other day. Mmm.” She shook her head like she was replaying it in her mind. “Baby, I ain’t wanted to leave since. And this TV?” She pointed. “I been sitting here watching old movies back-to-back. Forgot how much I missed that.”
I shook my head, staring around at the house again, my mind spinning. Kendrix. I knew it.
“How Hux and Heidi been doing?”
I leaned against the doorframe, crossing my arms. “They good. Heidi has ballet after school today. Hux acting like the world on his shoulders, but he handling it.”
Her lips trembled into a soft smile. “When can I see Heidi? Hux said… she starting to look more and more like her daddy.”
I smiled to myself. “Yeah… she is.”
Ma blinked, and tears started sliding down her cheeks. “I miss him so much.” She sniffled. “When can I see Heidi?”
I locked eyes with her. “When you clean yourself up.”
Her face crumpled. “But… Hux comes by sometimes.” Her voice broke. “He comes and sees me.”
I inhaled through my nose, steadying myself. “Hux is older, Ma. He lived through a lot of this. And whether you realize it or not, it scarred him in ways you still don’t understand. I’m not doing that to Heidi.”
She covered her mouth with her hand, tears streaming harder now.
“As far as Heidi knows, her mom is sick. Sick, and getting help. That’s the story I gave her. The rest is on you.” My throat tightened, but I pushed through it. “It’s up to you to get the help.”
“I’m trying…” she sobbed. “I swear, I’m trying.”
“Then try harder.” My voice cracked on the words, and before I could stop myself, a tear slid down my cheek.
I stepped closer and pulled her into a hug, my arms wrapping around her fragile frame. She smelled like soap and smoke, and for a second, I felt like I was holding the woman I used to know.
“This is a good step, Ma,” I whispered against her hair. “Don’t stop here.”
She nodded weakly against my shoulder.
I pulled back, wiping my face fast. “I gotta go to practice. Let Zejah know if you need me, okay?”
She sniffled again and nodded, clutching her robe tighter.
I kissed her temple before heading for the door, swallowing hard. No matter how tough I tried to be, it never got easier walking away.
By the time I made it back down the stairs, my chest felt so damn heavy. I kept my chin high as I walked past the old heads on the porch, even managed to toss out a quick, “Kiss my ass, fools,” when one of them called after me.
The minute I shut the door to my car, the world went quiet and I broke. Hot tears slid down my face before I even knew they were coming. I pressed my forehead against the steering wheel, trying to breathe through it, but the sobs came anyway. The kind of crying you pray nobody ever hears. I hated that shit. I hated crying. I hated feeling like that little girl again, standing in the middle of a messy-ass living room while my mama chose a high over me.
