Page 62 of Loving Trent
I ignore the plea in his question because right now, I can’t give him what he wants. With how my life has been going lately, I should have changed how I viewed everything, but I haven’t been able to fully let go of that thirteen-year-old me. I’m still terrified of all the good things being ripped from me when I least expect it. “Shawn, just say it, please.”
“You think I’m leaving you.”
The weight of everything hits me in the chest. The fear I’m suffocating under, along with the hurt lacing Shawn’s statement, combines into a monster inside my chest. I swear my heart will stop working as it breaks apart into a million little pieces. The monster has huge hands because my heart hurts, and my lungs burn as it squeezes them tightly. I try to fight its hold, to not be this vulnerable child that never gets the happy ending, and to put my mask back on, but I can’t. A wet and hot tear slides down my face, and I cringe away from Shawn’s warmth. But he doesn’t let me get far.
Shawn’s weight comes down on my lap as he settles on top of me, and on instinct, my arms wrap around his waist. “Openthose beautiful fucking brown eyes and look at me,” Shawn demands as his hands plunge into my hair.
I can’t fight the demand, and my eyes slowly open to find his green eyes alight with a fire. “I’m?—”
Shawn tightens his hand around my locks and pulls. “I’m not fucking going anywhere. What do I have to do in order to prove to you that right here… This house… You… Harley… Is where I want to be?”
“I’m—”
Shawn lays his forehead against mine, and his following words shatter that monster inside me, freeing my lungs and heart. “I’m fucking falling in love with you, and I’m already in love with Harley. I’m not going?—”
This time, I cut him off, but not with words. I slam my lips against his because, for the first time in my life, someone who isn’t Uncle Joey or Maria has said the three words that I crave. He might not have said he loves me, but it was close enough. Without breaking our passionate kiss, I turn sideways and lay him against the couch. Reaching up, I grab the neck of his thin shirt and rip it down the middle. I want to rip his chest open and infuse myself in him, but I can’t. Shawn moans against my lips, and I swallow it down as I plunge my tongue inside his open mouth. He tastes like the dark roast coffee that he can’t live without, and I fucking love it. It’s rough, just like his hands are, as he pulls at my shirt. I lean back so he can pull it off, but then I’m right back on him.
“I need you. I need to be inside you in the only way I can,” I growl as I undo his belt and push the zipper of his jeans down. The button rips when I shove my hand inside, but I don’t stop.
He has given me something that means the world to me, and I need to give him something in return. Shawn throws his head back and moans loudly when I push my palm against his hard dick. “God, yes. Please.”
Reaching under the couch, my fingers wrap around the bottle of lube that I shoved under there last night. Was I expecting this? Nope, but I was in here when he messaged me last night, and I had just gotten back from the store with the lube. I kicked it under the couch after I used it, so Harley didn’t find it. “Take off your pants,” I demand as I stand up, cross the room to pull the curtains closed, and shed my own pants. Shawn wiggles and grunts as he pulls his pants off and throws them on the floor.
When I lay back down on him, we both moan as our leaking dicks slide against each other. Biting the inside of my cheek, I look down at the man who has stolen my heart, and before I can stop them, the words swirling around slip out.
“I’m not falling in love with you. I already have.” Shawn’s dilated eyes widen even further, and they mist up. He wraps his hand around my neck and pulls me to him. This kiss is slow, tender, and so full of love that I think my heart is going to burst.
Shawn takes the bottle of lube from my hands, and the click of the cap has me pulling back to watch what he does next. He turns it upside down and slicks up his palm before throwing it somewhere behind me. I moan loudly when he wraps it around my dick and strokes me. After our first date, we talked and decided to both get tested. I hadn’t been with anyone in years and was tested at the hospital for everything when I was found. But we wanted to be safe because when this time came, we didn’t want anything between us.
Before he can set me off, he pulls his hand away and grips behind his knees, bringing his legs up, exposing his pretty little hole for me. “Trent, I need you. I need to feel you inside me.”
“But we need to prep?—”
A smirk forms as he says, “I’m good to go. I might have pulled over and rode my fingers after you sent me that shirtless picture of you at the gym.”
I close my eyes and groan at the picture he just put in my mind. Fire soars down my spine and lands in my heavy balls. I grit my teeth and force myself to focus. “I don’t want to hurt?—”
Shawn lets go of his right leg, which he puts on the back of the couch. He wraps his hand around my dick and guides it to his hole. I hold my breath as his ass swallows my tip. His hand goes to my hip as he pulls me closer, pushing my dick in a little more. Heat like I’ve never felt envelopes the inch of my dick that is inside him. “You aren’t going to hurt me.”
“Are you sure?” I ask, my voice strained.
“Yes, Baby. Please… Oh fuck.”
I slowly push forward past the resistance of the ring of muscles. “Holy shit,” I moan as his ass squeezes me. He feels like fucking heaven and hell at the same time. I slowly pull out and push back in a couple of times until I’m fully seated in his ass. “I’m going to embarrass myself.” I admit, because I’m one fucking twitch away from spilling inside him.
“Don’t care. Move. Please. Fuck me.” Shawn is literally trembling underneath me.
I place my hand on his left leg and push it further up as I start to slowly thrust inside him. All coherent thoughts flee from my mind. The only thing left is the thought of how amazing he feels wrapped around me. Tilting my hips, remembering the research I did, my dick seeks out that special button inside Shawn. I’m rewarded as Shawn thrashes his head to the side and yells, “Trent, yes, right there. Oh my god. Right there.”
I don’t change my angle as I thrust harder. The fire inside me rages hotter and higher until I know that I can’t contain it anymore. I wrap my hand around Shawn’s dick because I need him to come with me. “Baby boy…” I grit my teeth and punch my hips forward again, harder than ever before. “I need you to?—”
With another thrust, his dick hardens and thickens as he comes. His ass gets impossibly tighter, and my hips still as Icome in his ass with his name on my lips. “Shawn, shit.” I lose all strength and fall forward on him. My hand is still between us, wrapped around his softening dick, his cum is spread against our chests, but I don’t care.
Shawn wraps his legs around my waist, his arms band around my neck as I lazily kiss his neck. “I lied,” he says, and out of instinct, I stiffen, but he quickly remedies that by saying. “I’m not falling in love with you, I’m in love with you, and it terrifies me because I know I’m going to fuck this up.”
“Never,” I say, lips pressed against his neck.
Thirty
