I reiterated, “It’s not fair. My dad didn’t do anything wrong. He protected my aunt. Honestly… I’m glad he killed that pathetic Alpha Ducant. He deserved it… and dad only killed an Alpha that needed to die. Some of them do.”
“The Ducant Alpha was someone like the people I fight against. He was scum and he deserved it. There’s just no way for me to win. That’s what the Ring took from me. Peace. They took my freaking peace and everyone else’s.”
I rubbed my face, “Telling the truth only hurts everyone now. How can I do that? Isn’t there enough hurt between us all right now? Taking on the pain of others is something I’m used to. I can just keep doing that for them.” The white wolf didn’t say anything just snuggled into me.
When my eyes opened, I felt arms around me that gave me tingles. I rolled over and faced Xander. His face was completely relaxed. I whispered, “You’re my mate. I’ve always protected you…so protecting you from my past is nothing to me.”
I gently kissed his forehead, and he instinctively pulled me closer to him. I stayed in his arms until my nerves set in. We were going to Red Run. I was going back there to step onto my home’s pack lands for the first time since the day I was taken.
All the letters sent about what would happen if I came back flashed through my mind. I got up and started to go downstairs. Luckily, I found a bathroom and threw up in there before I threw it up on the floor. I stood shakily, knowing I couldn’t focus on going to Red Run.
I shook myself and went into the kitchen. I threw my hair up and started to cook. It was just after two in the morning. By four in the morning… I had an insane amount of food. I waited until five thirty to get out all the platters I could find and loaded them up.
Mrs. Blanch came in saying, “That is powerful smell. Are we feeding an army?” I flushed, “No... I just… make food... when I’m nervous... and…” Mrs. Blanch’s face lit with understanding. She smiled, “Well, I’ll just call some strapping young men to help us. A young man I consider one of my own just came home. His name is Jeffery Kruthers. He’s been on a mission.”
I was surprised he came home. Jeffery Kruthers was Phil’s brother. He leaned more towards his Hackura side. I surmised, “He came home to meet Phil’s mate.” Mrs. Blanch laughed, “He did. I’m hoping Jeffery will stick around. I think, between us gals…” She trailed off.
She admitted, “Oh hell, I know Phil called and asked Jeffery to come home. Jeffrey is Phil’s older brother by a few months.” I knew that. She laughed then added, “Miley was fit to be tied after Eric and Haley released magic right after she’d given birth to Jeffery a week prior, but she fell in love the second she heard Phil’s heartbeat.”
I asked, “Why did Phil ask Jeffery to come home?” Mrs. Blanch smiled at me like it was cute I didn’t know. It was a smile I often saw aimed my way in Red Run. A male voice came from behind her, “You must be the Muffin Luna since I see these chocolate muffins I’ve heard so much about.”
He came into view saying, “My little brother asked me to come to help protect his mate. It seems there are douchebags that think she’s theirs. I’ll be heading back to the Hackura realm after I help drop off ummm all this food. We need more people, Grams.”
She wasn’t technically his grandmother, but her daughter was mated to Jeffery’s uncle. It made sense he considered her family. Xander did which meant I’d had her protected more than once or twice. He called her Nana Blanch and she… was like a lot better than Cassandra.
Mrs. Blanch laughed, “Whatever you say, Jeffery.” Jeffery snorted, “I’ll be going to visit a certain prisoner of my brothers in the Hackura realm. It appears the Muffin Luna handed said prisoner up to him on a silver platter.”
I replied, “Yes…well… I always planned to get Clay to the Hackura realm. I just didn’t think Phil would be how he got there. I also know you’ve probably met the man in question… you’d have come over Phil’s feeling when they met. I should’ve figured that’s why you came home.” It was obvious.
Jeffery snorted, “Yes, I did. You were going to ask Cayden to kill Clay then I’d assume.” I replied, “Well… torture then kill… Yes.” Jeffery laughed, “I can’t wait to tell Cayden that today. I bet he’ll ask what you were going to offer in return.”
I asked, “Why would that matter now?” Jeffery replied, “My little brother did say that you and he would be besties. I see why.” I asked, “Why didn’t you want to be a Beta?” Jeffery answered, “There’s too much paperwork for me. I’m a Warrior in the pack, but I also go on longer missions.” I knew that.
He asked, “Do you?” I hummed, “What? Huh? That was… a good reason so… I mean to say… umm… fair enough. Coffee?” I handed him a to go cup. Jeffery smirked, “Of course. I do have Beta blood after all. You are just as fascinating as advertised. I didn’t actually think someone could be as poor of a liar as described but you are.” I sighed and blew out my breath.
A group of ten Warriors helped us carry the food down to the pack house. Word must have gone around because people were waiting for us. They were chanting “Muffin Luna” as I left. I ran back to the house… but I shouldn't have because then I made more food.
Freya told me, “It’s going to be ok.” I sighed, “I might throw up again if I think about it some more. So, I have to distract myself.” Eric came in first, followed by several of Xander’s brothers. Eric stopped short and his eyes told me even though he’d smelled the food he was surprised by the volume of it.
I turned and put out plates. I asked him quietly, “Do you want coffee?” Eric raised an eyebrow the answered, “Coffee would be great.” I rambled, “I know it’s a lot of food... I’m sorry... I should’ve stopped I just…”
Brady Conners spoke with his mouth full, “Never be sorry. This is so good. I’m going scouting for my mate in Nashville. I can’t believe I just said that. Those are definitely words I never thought I’d say.” I laughed nervously.
Xander popped in and I put a plate together for him. I should’ve gone running instead of cooking! Why didn't I think of that before? Xander kissed me and all thoughts left my mind. Freya chimed in, “We could also try sex too. I’m just saying is all.” Well, where was that idea a few hours ago? Xander could clearly feel my anxiety and popped us to his room.
Gosh… I’d wasted so much food on my nervous energy. I was trying to be normal, and I was not succeeding. Sierra linked, “I’m coming in hot with the way to make you stop feeling bad.” Thank goodness. She was actually really good at that.
Freya said, “I have been speaking with Tori quite a bit. She is a clever wolf, and really good at fixing problems I’ve noticed.” I replied, “Yeah, well it is good they need food in Red Run. Plus, Avery prefers cooking lunch or dinner. She doesn’t like cooking breakfast and asking for help would’ve felt like failure. I’m sure Dakota helped her and that shocked her.” Which made me smile.
Sierra shoved Xander out of the room. She urged, “Hit the shower. Let’s go.” I sighed then caught sight of my back in the mirror as I took my clothes off. I traced the words as tears filled my eyes. I asked, “Do you think Xander would see it? Your dad and Edward didn’t notice.”
Sierra snorted, “I think your Xander notices everything about you. He won’t think less of you.” I nodded and got in the shower. I quickly washed my hair, got out, then found a hair dryer in the cabinet that was clearly for me because it was red.
Once my hair was dried, Sierra fixed it while I did my makeup. She showed me my dress. I smiled, “That’s… so Addison.” Sierra laughed, “We are going retro.” I chuckled, “Of course we are.” I quickly it on.
I gripped the sink as a wave of nerves hit me. Sierra rubbed my back assuring me, “It’s going to be ok.” I nodded, “This is for Addison. I can do this for her.” Sierra frowned saying, “If you aren’t ready Ads will understand.”
I shook my head trying to convince myself, “It’s just a place… it had trees, dirt, and grass… houses… I’ve been in a lot of places like that.” Sierra sighed, “It’s not the same.” It wasn’t. I just wished that it was.
