Page 41 of When We Fell Again
I gave a tight smile. “Maybe. But two similar songs together? That’s lazy.”
“Whatever.” Levi shook his head. “Do you want to tryConsequencesagain?”
Another new song, this one much more in your face and angry. I really had to stop using Lex as my inspiration for music.
We played for the afternoon, playing riffs over and over, arranging the new songs, and running through what we thought worked well as a potential album track listing until Jude called a halt to proceedings.
“Lads, I’ve got a date tonight and I really want to get the smell of weed off me.” He shot an accusatory glance in my direction. “No offence, mate, but I come out of here stinking.”
“No change there,” I shot back.
“Haha, you’re funny. Not.” He grabbed his stuff, heading for the exit. “I’ll probably see you in the morning. With a bit of luck, I won’t be home tonight.”
Robbie left about a quarter of an hour after Jude, leaving just Levi and me.
“You wanna carry on here?” Levi gestured to the guitars. “We could work on some more tracks?”
“Nah.” I shook my head. “I’m pretty knackered. And my head is mashed from using up all that creative energy.” If I was being honest, I hadn’t been sleeping all that well. In fact, the last decent night’s sleep I’d had was in Reading, when I last stayed with Lex.
“Drinks and some food?”
“Much better.” I grinned.
We set about tidying up the studio and locking away the valuable stuff before heading out to a nearby bar that did decent pub grub.
Levi got the first round in, while I checked out the menu. We both ended up ordering ribs, the barman saying they’d bring it over to the table when it was ready.
“Cheers.” I held up my glass to clink with his. “This studio session is going really well. I reckon Kelvin will be able to go to the record company with what we’ve done and get some decent feedback.”
He touched his glass to mine. “Absolutely. What you’ve written recently is fucking epic shit. Where do you get your ideas from?”
I hung my head, knowing this moment had to come. Levi still didn’t know the extent of what had gone on with me and Lex on tour. He didn’t even know I’d been in the room when he’d approached her about me. Now was the time.
“A lot of it comes from being with Lex.” I paused. “Or rather not being with her.”
My best friend took a gulp of his beer. “Things between you guys on tour were… interesting. I reacted to it, but I saw how messed up and broken you were the last time and I didn’t want to see you go through that again.”
“It’s cool how you care about me. Enough to check in with Lex.” I let the end of the sentence hang in the air.
He smacked his hand to his forehead. “Fuck, it wasyourt-shirt in her room. What the hell happened between you two? Did you fuck her?”
I winced at his description. “No, but we did sleep together twice. Nothing happened on either occasion. The first time was after Exeter and I was too off my face on pain and drugs to be able to do anything about it. Then again in Reading, she turned me down.”
“Levi blew out a breath. “I knew something had gone on between you two. So, what happened? Why aren’t you together again?”
If only I knew.
“I tried to talk to her after our last gig, but she ran off. And I haven’t heard from her since.” I played with the beer mat, pulling the layers apart. “I know she’s busy with work. Seems like she’s constantly on tour.”
“Mmm.” Levi avoided my gaze, suddenly interested in something going on over my shoulder.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He took another sip of beer. “That’s why you split before, isn’t it? Because you got jealous of her being away with other bands. More specifically other guys.”
Despite it being partly true, I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t like Lex being around other guys on tour. I knew first-hand how out of control things could get, and I didn’t want her being exposed to it. Back then, when we were five years younger, she’d assured me she would be able to handle whatever came her way. But I wanted to protect her, shield her from situations I knew would get out of hand. Each time she got a new act to work with, I researched them, trying to establish whether they would be ‘safe’ for her to go out with. I’d admitted my concerns to Levi back then, so they shouldn’t have come as a surprise now.
“Look, I get it,” said Levi. “Lex is a gorgeous woman, and a total pro at what she does. No one is going to take advantage of her.”
