Page 17 of Lost in Her
“We will see, Ethan.We will see just how far you are willing to go for her because I am willing to burn this whole fucking place to the ground to get her back,” he states with an amused voice.This is just a game to him.A game he actually thinks we are going to play.I don’t play fucking games, and after what happened to Emory, I know Shawn won’t play either.This dude is not getting shit from us.
He wants a fucking war.We will give him one, and he will lose.That is one good thing about my father.He taught me everything I know.This want to-be gangster wants to fucking play?I’ll show him what a real gangster looks like, what a real monster does.He will lose everything he cares about, and for him, I know it is the power and control he thinks he has, and I will enjoy watching him fucking lose all of it.
“You have no idea who you are talking to,” I snarl, not being able to hide my rage anymore.Every fucking second, we stand here, I am becoming more and more unhinged.I am losing control of my emotions and my thoughts, and I know soon I will also lose control of my reactions, and that will not be good.
Tristan quickly closes the distance between us.He stares me right in the eyes.“You have no idea who the fuckyouare talking to.I will get her back, and I don’t care who I must kill to do so,” he says with so much confidence that it actually sends chills down my spine.I can tell neither of us is going to back down.
“Leave now,” the cops tell him.
Tristan looks at me for a moment, then looks at the apartments behind me, making my heart race.
He quickly takes a few steps back and turns around.His man opens the car door.We all watch him slide in.His man shuts the door and makes his way to the driver’s side.
I take a step back as Shawn lowers his hand.We all watch as the men get into the SUVs.I watch the window roll down.Tristan stares at me, rage and amusement taking over his eyes.“It looks like the ex-gangster has fallen in love with the whore.Enjoy her while you can.”Tristan smirks.
He rolls up his window, and we watch as the SUVs drive away, turning left onto the main street, heading to the freeway.
“Follow them,” Shawn orders the two cops.They don’t respond.They just turn around and head to their cars, getting in quickly and driving after them.
Shawn takes a deep breath and makes his way in front of me, forcing me to look at him instead of where the SUVs and cop cars just disappeared out of view.
“Ethan,” Shawn states as calmly as he can, but I know he is fucking pissed.As pissed as I am.The last thing we need is to draw attention to this place and make the other clients unsafe, but at the same time, it isn’t in our DNA to make deals and just hand someone over to the people that were abusing them.
“Shawn.”Looking into his eyes, I see he is angry, confused, and worried.I know that he is worried about his family.Worried about me.Worried about this place, and now worried about Jennifer.
“What the flying fuck just happened?”Oliver asks, making Shawn and me shake our heads.We were all thinking it.Oliver was just the first one to say it.
“I don’t know, but I am going to find out,” I say through gritted teeth.
Shawn shakes his head, but keeps his eyes locked with mine.“Ethan, don’t do anything stupid.”
“I won’t,” I whisper, knowing that I won’t promise him something I can’t keep.We don’t break promises.We never has, and we never will.
“Promise?”Shawn asks, but he already knows the answer.I know it is written all over my face, but he wouldn’t be Shawn if he didn’t ask.
“I can’t,” I whisper so quietly I can barely hear myself.Thoughts of Jennifer flood into my mind.Images of her giving herself to me, thoughts of us together as one.Both of us need each other in the same way.We are both shattered, just in different ways, and for some reason, we find balance within each other, balance I didn’t know I needed, but she has given to me.
“Ethan,” Shawn calls my name, snapping me out of my flooding thoughts.
“Shawn, I can’t,” I say, allowing him to hear my anxiety.
If I could promise, I would, but I can’t.I just fucking can’t because I don’t know what the future brings.For the first time, the future is becoming more and more uncertain, which pisses me off even more.
“I see,” he whispers as he continues looking into my eyes.I know he sees it on my face, the same thing I saw on his face with Emory.
“I can’t fucking explain it.I know it’s insane, but I need her!”I scream in his face.I don’t know why I’m screaming, but I am.I can’t control myself when it comes to her, and I know that is dangerous.This whole situation is dangerous and unstable, which is a deadly combination.
I need her in a way I didn’t even fucking know I could, and with this Tristan dude, it just proves that I am losing my fucking mind, and this is way more twisted than I ever knew.Tristan validates that what happened with Shawn is now happening to me, and I can’t stop it, and I can’t control it, and honestly, I don’t want to.
“I understand,” Shawn whispers softly.I can see it in his eyes.He understands how I am feeling more than I do.He is the only one who understands.
“I know you do,” I state softly.I don’t know what else to say.Everything is moving so fast I am trying to keep up.Things are becoming more and more unhinged, and I know we are all just trying to hang on and keep it together.
“Just fucking be careful, okay?”Shawn says, giving me a small smile.
“Always,” I smile back at him.
Shawn nods at me and moves to the side.I quickly turn around, and Oliver is already putting in the code to open the gate.As soon as it opens, I take off in a run toward apartment 615.I run as fast as I can, making my way to the other gate.I put in my code and watch it open.I take off running again, feeling my heart racing so fucking fast I feel like it is going to burst.
