Page 79 of The One I Hate
“Are those the clothes you had on last night?”
I nod as everyone takes a seat around me in my living room. “No and yes.”
“Fuck,” Shane says. “It’s worse than we thought.”
“I’ll call for food to be delivered,” Wes says.
“I’ll go make sure he has booze,” Shane adds with a heavy sigh.
Oliver pulls out his phone. “I’ll text the girls and tell them we’ll be a while.”
Even in my exhaustion, I can’t help but feel grateful at my three best friends dropping everything to come here. They’re right that I’ve done it for them. We all have. I guess I never realized it would one day be my turn.
Though in my defense, this is only happening because Charlie is back in my life. Women don’t get under my skin. I’ve never met one who made me want more. I could never see myself with anyone past one night. No one held my interest long enough, or made me give a fuck.
But I do with Charlie. Or I did. Fuck I don’t know. After last night, I don’t know anything anymore.
For years I thought it was me. That I did something wrong. She made me wonder and question everything about myself, only to find out it was because of a misunderstanding I never knew happened.
If only I would’ve showered ten minutes later. Or my sister would’ve remembered a fucking sleep shirt. Or that the cops wouldn’t have been called the night before. There are so many little things that could’ve changed the course of history.
But no. They happened. And here we are. Fifteen years lost and a mix of emotions that I don’t know how to fucking process.
“Okay,” Oliver says, sitting by me on the couch as Wes and Shane take their seats in the two chairs I have in my living room. “What happened?”
I sit back, my head to the ceiling as I try to decide where to start. “You know the saying about being careful what you wish for?”
“Oh shit,” Wes says. “I take it that you finally got your answer?”
I nod. “Yup. And it’s made me question everything.”
My friends intently listen as I tell them about last night. I leave out the part where I thought we were going to kiss again and go straight for the reason I look and smell like a dirty sock. When I get to the bomb—the one that still has me rattled—I watch each of their reactions almost in slow motion. Dropped jaws, wide eyes, open mouths that aren’t making any sounds.
At least I know what I likely looked like last night when Charlie was recounting this fateful night.
“So that’s it,” I say. “She saw Maeve, and it scared her off. Charlie didn’t know she was in town—I don’t even think she knew I had a sister—saw her in my shirt, and that was that. Add that on top of the shit with her mom, and poof, Charlie was mist in the wind.”
“Wow,” Oliver says. “I can’t imagine what she was going through. Mom dying and becoming a guardian to your sibling? That has to be tough.”
I snap a look at him. “You’re taking her side?”
He holds his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t say that. I meant I could see that she was going through a lot, and, shockingly, she has a point in this story.”
“You have to admit, it didn’t look good,” Wes says. “Maeve is a beautiful woman.”
“Don’t fucking talk about my sister,” I snap.
“You know that’s not what I meant. I’m just saying, just on looks, I can see where the confusion happened. Imagine if you went to her place and saw a shirtless, good-looking guy.”
I grind my teeth, not wanting to agree with his point.
“Fine. Let’s go with that for a second. The question still remains, why didn’t she ask me? Confront me? Why did she just run?”
“Her Mom was dying, you fuckhead!” Shane yells. “You expect to be on the top of her mind when she was losing her only fucking parent!”
“I know,” I say, and I do. And I know my words aren’t coming out right, but I have so many feelings and emotions that things are getting twisted. “I could have been there. I should have been there. This all could have been fucking solved if she just would have?—”
“What?” Shane stands up, which is how I know he’s about to tough-love me. “She was hurt, Simon. She thought you hurt her. Whether you did or not, that was what she was feeling. And you can’t take that away from her.”
