Page 108 of The One I Love
I just don’t want the wedding.
Chapter 33
Amelia
The secondI hear Shane’s truck door slam shut my stomach immediately tightens. I grab one of the pillows I bought for his couch and hold it against me, like somehow it’s going to either soothe my nerves or shield me from what’s about to come.
I wish it could do both.
I went straight to Shane’s after dress shopping today. I knew if I didn’t, I’d chicken out. I’ve been here for over an hour, just sitting and waiting. Stewing. Practicing over and over again what I’m going to say. Because I don’t want this to be a fight, even though it probably will become one. I love him. I really do. With my whole soul. One day I want to be Mrs. Shane Cunningham.
Emphasis on one day.
I tense as I hear him come through the garage door. I close my eyes and remind myself of things I want to say.
Don’t give in. Tell him you love him. Take ownership of what you need to. Make sure he knows you’re in this together. But marriage, right now, isn’t the solution.
“Hey,” he says as he walks into the living room.
“How was work?”
“Fine,” he says as he takes a seat next to me.
“That’s good.”
“How was dress shopping?” His tone is interested. Enthusiastic even.
“Fine. I tried on a few hideous ones our mothers picked.”
“Sounds about right. Did you find one you liked?”
The image of me standing in my perfect dress takes over my mind, and I do all I can to not start crying.
“I did,” I admit.
“That’s great.”
The smile on his face breaks my heart. He looks so hopeful. It reminds me of just a few short months ago when he had all the faith in the world that we were right for each other, and I had nothing but doubts.
“When it comes to the possibility of us? I’m eternal.”
I just hope he feels that way once I say what I need to say.
“Shane...I can’t keep doing this. We need to come clean. I know we thought it would taper, but it isn’t.”
He falls back against the couch and he looks up at the ceiling. “You want to call it off?”
“Yes.”
“The idea thatyouhad about keeping it a lie?”
I swallow a frustrated groan. “Yes. I was wrong. It’s not working. It’s out of hand.”
I keep in the comment I have about us only being here because of him and his loose lips originally. That’s a fight for another day. And I don’t want to rehash that.
“So me going to the caterer’s? And you wedding dress shopping? The florists. What was that? Just part of the lie? Playing the part?”
I tilt my head out of confusion. I thought he knew that waswhat we were doing? “Yes. I didn’t know how to tell them no, so I went along with it. And in turn made you. And that was a mistake. I’m sorry. I take ownership of that.”
