Page 89 of Wrap Around
“By listening to her. She might have been young and naïve back then, but she’s a grown woman now. She’s spent the last few years educating herself, soaking up knowledge and worldliness like a sponge. Lily doesn’t need us to protect her from herself. That’s something else we need to unlearn.”
I nod, voice rough. “You’re right. And I shouldn’t have hit him. I just lost it. I was so caught off guard.” I rub my hand over my face and expel a breath. “I mean, Zac? Really? I did not expect that.”
“Didn’t know he had it in him,” Silas finishes with a faint smirk.
“Too soon,” I deadpan.
He hums but doesn’t argue. He turns on his side to look at me, setting his hand on my chest. “What you did back there, standing up to your father like that. It was brave.”
I give my own non-committal hum and let my head fall to the side to meet his gaze. “I’d just had enough. I went to confront him about how he treated Lily, how he’s still treating her, and he didn’t hear a word. He just started on about praying with him, asking for salvation and repentance and I lost it.” Silas’ hand comes up to cup my jaw, a thumb swiping over my cheek. I didn’t even realize a tear had fallen. “I think I could feel that you were there. That I wasn’t alone.”
“Never alone. Never again.”
Our lips meet in a soft, slow caress before I sigh and sit up on my elbows, needing to get the rest off my chest.
“It’s more than just today. I have a lot to apologize for,” I say quietly. “I let everything build up inside me until it tore me apart. I’ve been a wreck, and I’ve been scared, Silas. Scared I’m not enough. That you’d leave for something bigger. That I’d hold you back if I said how much I need you.”
He sits up on his knees and levels me with a serious gaze, the green of the trees and grass reflecting in his hazel eyes. “You could never hold me back.”
He says it with such certainty that I nearly lose it.
“I know that. I do. But I felt insecure, and instead of talking to you or anyone else, I let it fester into jealousy and feeling inadequate. I let myself believe you were already living your best life, and I wasn’t part of it. Like an idiot, I closed in on myself instead of letting myself be part of it. I was happy for you, but I was resentful because of your new team, your new friends, and life. All of it was taking you away from me.” I take a deep breath, feeling embarrassed but also finally understanding that we can’t grow from these experiences if we don’t talk about them. If we don’t work it out, I really will be holding him back. “The night you made your first goal, I was so proud of you, but also hurt and mad. I couldn’t understand why you weren’t celebrating with me, but I realize now it’s because I was already pushing you away.”
“That’s partly my fault,” he says. “I got it into my head that I needed to hold back, to downplay anything big or celebratory. I didn’t want you to feel like you were missing out, because I know it’s your dream, too. What I should have done was share the experience with you.”
“If you felt that way it was because I was acting like a jealous asshole. But I promise I was, and am, more proud than I ever was jealous. I want to see you out there just as much as I want to beout there myself. Maybe more, because your happiness means everything to me, Silas.”
“I can’t be happy without you by my side, not after everything we’ve been through.” He swallows. “They offered me an official contract,” he whispers, like he’s confessing something he’s done wrong.
My heart thuds. “What?”
“I turned it down.”
I sit bolt upright. “Youwhat?”
He sits too, watching my reaction like he’s bracing for impact. “Coach Ryan wants me to think on it, but… these weeks away, all they taught me was that I don’t want to live without you. Or my baby girl. Or Lily.”
I’m stunned. “Silas, this is yourdream. Youhaveto take it.”
“I don’t want a life away from my family, Gideon. I love you more than hockey.”
“We’ll go with you. All of us. We’ll move to Calgary.”
He scoffs. “Gideon, you can’t leave Red Valley.“
I roll my lips in. He looks at me questioningly.
A little sheepishly, I confess. “I’m not sure I have a spot on the team anymore,” I confess. “I might’ve finally burned my last bridge. Coach said they needed me and I left, walked out of practice and got on the plane to come here.”
I barely gave them any notice beyond a two-line email sent from the airport and I turned my phone off after that. Which is probably why I didn’t know Silas was on his way, considering he couldn’t call me.
Silas is quiet, but I can tell he feels sorry for me.
“This place,” I mutter, raking a hand through my hair. “It’s toxic. It gets under your skin. I’m afraid Lily wants to stay. Or worse, feels like shehasto. Like it’s her duty, but somehow not mine. Not that I’ll be welcome any longer.” I chuckle bitterly. “Honestly, I’m surprised we haven’t been run off with torches and pitchforks.”
Silas laughs under his breath and mumbles something about his dad leading the charge.
As if just now realizing we’re naked in broad daylight, we start gathering our clothes. Pulling on our pants, we walk over to the edge of the lake to splash some water on our faces, chests, and stomach, washing off the worst of the cum, smears of dirt, and grass stuck to our skin. Silas’ dress shirt is missing a couple buttons and looks like it’s been trampled in the brush. My t-shirt isn’t much better, but at least it’s a darker grey color instead of white. Once we’re dressed, we head down to the edge of the lake and sit on the flat boulder we used to carve our initials into, letting our feet drift in the water.
