Page 54 of Wrap Around
"That I am."
He laughs and I roll my eyes, but before I can turn back towards the steering wheel, he reaches over and grabs my chin in a gentle grip.
"Silas, there's something I want you to know."
I can't respond because his thumb is pressing into my bottom lip.
He leans forward, coaxing me closer by my chin. "I'm gay," he whispers. "Like, super gay. And I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember. The first time I ever touched myself was after the first time we jumped off the highest cliff at the falls. I was terrified, but you held my hand, and I swear I could feel your hand in mine for the rest of the day. That's the one I used, by the way."
I snort out a laugh. Only he could turn something otherwise romantic into something ridiculous. It’s how he used to be, when it was just us, back before everything got ruined.
God, what if we're always this happy? What if this is just our life now?
Gideon drops a light kiss on the side of my cheek and reaches for the door handle. He pulls the handle and pops the door, then pauses before he gets out. Then he looks over at me, like he's trying to memorize something.
Then he leans across the console and kisses me.
It's not rushed or heated or desperate. Unlike every other kiss we've shared except the first one, it's soft. Tentative. Gentle in a way I didn't know either of us was capable of. It's full of promise.
I eagerly kiss him back, gently returning the soft caress of his tongue. I melt into it, wanting more, craving it like air. He pulls away, then comes in for a little more.
"I want to do this right," he murmurs against my mouth. "I don't really know what that means yet. If I'm being honest, I've never had more than a hookup. I don't even know what a real relationshiplooks like, but I'd like us to figure it out and do it together. For real."
My chest tightens, a strange mix of joy and trepidation trickling over me. I almost admit that I've never hooked up. That I've never even kissed anyone but him. But I don't.
It's not that I'm hiding it, but we're in a delicate space. I don't want him to feel bad about what happened back in the hotel, or worse, pity me. So I just smile and lean forward a little more.
Gideon kisses me one more time, like he can't help himself, before getting out. I watch him walk towards his truck and climb in, fingers pressed to my lips to cover the ridiculous goofy smile on my face.
When I get home, I'm still in a bit of a daze. Lily is in the kitchen, washing what looks like the last pan from dinner. Addy is in her high chair happily squishing playdough through her fingers. I drop a kiss on her head as I go to join Lily next to the sink, pulling out a dish towel to help finish the last of the dinner cleanup.
"I've got this," she says. "You cooked."
"Not like I did much. I put the sweet potatoes in the oven and reheated leftover barbecue."
"It counts," she says. "And there really wasn't much cleanup, either. It just took me a while to process everything after y'all left."
"It doesn't feel real, does it?"
"It really doesn't. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now."
Honestly, I'm in such a state of disbelief I'm not convinced it happened. There's a whole new world of possibilities ahead of us now, and it's… overwhelming. I have an entirely new perspective of what could have been, but more than that, what still could be.
We can be a family. Me, Lily, Addy… and Gideon.
I mean, we already are. But it's so much more. Maybe he could move in here, and we could all be together as a different kind of family unit.
Maybe not today, or tomorrow. But someday.
Lily notices the way I'm staring off into space and wraps an arm around my back. I lift my arm so she can tuck herself against my chest, and I put the dish towel down so I can rest my cheek on the top of her head and just breathe the moment in.
"Thank you," I whisper.
"I should have grown the ovaries sooner."
"Don't do that." I turn to face her. "You weren't the only one to keep secrets. If any of us had opened up, it could have been different., but we're older and wiser now, living in a different world where we don't have to be afraid of who we are or what we want out of life. Maybe this was how it was meant to be. If we'd gotten our heads out of our asses too soon, we might still be back in that backwards town, living amongst backwards-thinking people. We might not have Addy," I say, just as she lets out the kind of shriek I'd imagine could come from a pterodactyl and chucks a wad of playdough at us. It lands on the floor with a plop that elicits the best kind of belly laughs.
I grin down at Lily.See?
