Page 17 of Of Nightmares & Fire
By the time we near the last corner toward the inner gates of the kingdom, I am numb. The iron gates barricading the palace in another ring of protection reach out like the metal claws of the monsters within. My body feels heavy, and though I don't feel the heat, sweat builds on my brow. Not from the temperature of the evening air, but from the despair that has wrapped itself around my bones.
“Hide your eyes once more, Princess. There is no need to suffer more.” The man holding me says, but I’ve already seen what he was trying to warn me of. I can’t look away. A series of newly formed gallows hangs from the wall on either side of the gate. Each one illuminated with a torch of firelight on either side and a body hanging from a rope. Their faces are hidden by a canvas sack, but their bodies are already blistering from the Eathian sun, which had barely shown back up today after the monsoon.
There is no holding back the sobs that rack through me.
There is no holding me in place either. I lunge from the horse, falling hard on my hands and knees. My wrist instantly burns with searing pain, but I can’t care. I only slightly hear that the man that was holding me is yelling at me to stop. He dismounts the horse behind me and takes chase. I can’t hear past the rushing blood in my ears as I shuffle through the drying sand and force my body to move toward the bodies. My thoughts are spiraling in wicked grief.Please, don’t let her be gone. Please don't let Colette be one of them.The two bodies on the right are women, wearing plain dresses that the staff wear; the other two are soldiers. My legs stop working as I fall to my knees beneath the two women.
“Leave her.” The command comes, and slowly I lift my puffy gaze toward the sound of his voice. “After all, they were giftsforher.” My eyes meet my father’s as he stops just on the other side of the gates. He shakes his head. His disappointment in my running away, my reaction to the meaningless lives that hang above me. Killed for no other reason than to show me what happens when I disobey. It has been the same my entire life. When my lessons are not harsh enough to wring fear into me, he knows my compassionate heart will wither and die with the people he takes from this world in my name.
I say nothing as I stand, keeping eye contact with the man who sired me. My father has always wanted me to be a strong flame of perseverance, to stand behind the heir of his choosing as an illuminating light, burning bright in the shadow of a man. A union bringing more than just a strong heir but an unbreakable force of power to our name. If he wishes for me to be a strong womanbehind the man, he better hope that whoever he chooses is strong enough to contain the raging fire that he has stoked, because he has ensured one thing with the torment he has put me through—I will not be tamed.
Chapter fourteen
Astraea
Myeyesareheavyand swollen from the tears I shed all night, but I can’t fathom closing them and allowing my nightmares to make one of the most horrible days of my life—worse. Guards have been patrolling the hallway beyond my door relentlessly. Their footsteps like a never-ending fall of the sands in an hourglass.
“The king requires your presence in the dining hall, Princess Astraea.” A guard says from behind me. I heard the door open, but my mind and body have not caught up to the outside world. My internal turbulent thoughts are drowning me in a torrent of emotions. I still can’t bring myself to turn and face whoever it is that was tasked to fetch me. My eyes are glued to the battlement, wheresmoke now eddies into the once again scorching mid-morning sun. The stench from their fires blankets the kingdom and announces their deaths.
“Of course,” I say absently. Turning from one devastation to another, I follow the guard through the halls of the palace. To keep myself calm on the outside, I focus on counting the wide corbel arches leading to the dining hall. It’s a ritual I have performed more times than I can remember. The many times I have made my way to the summonings that my father has called upon me.
Twenty-four.
The number that marks the entrance of the dining hall from my quarters. It’s the number that makes my adrenaline spike and my palms sweat. It’s—
“Princess Astraea Casimir of Eathian.” The court master calls out, catching me off guard. The collective gasp as I enter has me blinking in surprise. I suddenly feel even more overwhelmed by my surroundings. My father sits at his usual spot at the head of the table, and on his right is Pravin, a smug look of satisfaction pulling the corner of his mouth up. My father, on the other hand, is red with fury as he takes in my appearance.
I never changed. I didn’t wash the filth from my face or even my hands. The evidence of my distress is written on every inch of my body. The moment my father slams his hands down on the table, shouting as he stands, knocking his chair back with a loud crash. I see this for what it is. The man to his left turns abruptly to see what has my father so flustered.
“Look at what they have done to you!” He comes rounding the table, and the other chairs squeal as they push out from the table as well. His jewels and crisp, cream linen clothing are immaculate, and the gold stitching gleams in the sun-drenched room. “My daughter, I’m so glad that you are home, safe with us.” He pretends to shake as he reaches for me, unsure where to touch me. One hand rests lightly on my shoulder as he wraps his arm around me, and the other hand wraps around the crook of my elbow.
Confusion and anger flood my eyes with moisture. The sickening feeling of being helpless to this man yet again as he lies to the kingdom, an inexorable silent fight to keep my tears to myself, but there is nothing that could keep the emotion held within. Not after everything that has happened in the recent days.
“Sweet Astraea, had I known the condition you were in, I would have postponed this meeting.” His thumb scores a line through the ever flowing stream of tears, and a choked sob escapes from me. This only adds to his show, and I hate myself for it. He knew of the condition I was in.He made sure of it.A throat clears as a man comes into my periphery.
His round, golden-flecked brown eyes are kind as they take in my appearance. A mournful recognition pulls his mouth into a frown. He runs his hand through his long, deep brown curls before taking my hand, still covered in filth; his strong brows dip before lifting it to his full lips. His eyes meet mine as he places a light kiss on my knuckles as he bows.
“Princess, I am so sorry our meeting has come at such a difficult time.” His eyes stay trained on me, even though I can feel myfather’s gaze burrowing into our hands where they are clasped and the place where his lips made contact with my skin. “My name is Cadoceus Natharia, Prince of Iorworth. You can call me Cadoc.” I say nothing, but I nod. Accepting his greeting but making it clear I am not here willingly. He stands upright, easily taller than I am, but not quite as tall as Kyros.
Another pang of sorrow crashes into me with the thought of the people from the tavern. Mavros and Zinya may not have been what I am used to, but they were kind to me, and I could have very well caused their deaths. Though, I’m sure that if it came down to a fight, they would probably be ok, judging by what I saw of their sparring.
“Astraea, dear, why don’t you head back to your room? I will send help in for you to get you bathed. I will also send in food; I’m sure you are just ravenous. Prince Cadoc and I will start discussing terms of the trials, and you can start your first courting after a full night's rest.” My father says matter-of-factly, and the way he adds the pet name to my own makes my sadness turn hateful.
Everything catches up to me. My breathing is coming too fast, and the room begins to tilt. I think I try to say something, but I’m not sure anyone hears my hushed words. I’m not even sure that I said them aloud or if it was merely a thought, as my vision begins to wobble.
“As though a meal and a night's rest will make everything just—okay? You wish for me to pretend that you didn’t justkillat least five people!?” My lip curls back as I round on my father. The room goes breathless. My own breathing is erratic, though,and I know that this crazed behavior is going to come with great punishment, but I cannot get the vision of the bodies hanging from the battlements out of my mind. I can’t think past the man’s head rolling to the ground at his feet and the ear-piercing scream that was so much like the one I hear in my nightmares.
“You parade me around like a prized goat, bartering my life to the highest bidder—” I growl through clenched teeth. My father is beetroot red, ready to explode at any minute. I can see it in the way his jaw ticks, in the way that his fists clench at his sides, but Cadoc has the decency to look ashamed. His face drains of color as he takes a sidelong glance at the people who are watching my emotional outburst with unabashed curiosity.
It's Kellan who surprises me. He steps forward without being addressed. A gasp echoes through the dining hall as he cuts in with a bow. My father scoffs at the interruption and being addressed by the guard. Confusion crosses Cadoc’s face, and my own shock is amplified by whispers from the crowd.
“I'm sorry for interrupting, majesties; perhaps the princess is feeling a bit overwhelmed and needs time to unwind. My squad and I would like the honor of escorting her back to her chambers for, as you said, my king, a meal and rest.” He says quietly, his eyes staying low with his voice, so it is less likely that the rest of the dining room hears his words.The valor and stupidity of this man, calling attention to himself like this!I look at him with enough hostile fire; I hope it burns him. If it's not my wrath he will receive, it will be that of my father’s and likely his death.
Lucky for him, Pravin steps to my father’s side, pressing a hand to his arm; he leans down and whispers something in my father’s ear. Then my father looks down at Pravin’s hand and takes the missive he has there. He unravels the scroll, and his eyes scan the parchment before he rolls it neatly back up, and his spine straightens.
“Very well, take my petulant daughter back to her room. She needs time to think about her actions, and I have a court to run.” He turns his vicious tongue on me, “It appears your next suitor has arrived early. I will greet him and make sure he has the accommodations he requires whileyoucollect your wits.” I open my mouth to show him just how much wit I currently have, but Kellan steps between us as my father turns his back on me.
“Princess, would you please allow me to take you back to your room?” He offers me his arm, and I look at it, then up at him in displeasure.
