Page 18 of Of Nightmares & Fire
“Please excuse me. I will see you tomorrow, Astraea.” Cadoc says with a nod, and then he, too, turns his back and follows my father from the dining hall. They take the opposite exit that Kellan will take me though. Looking around at all of the eyes that are still lingering on me, I let out a long sigh. A wave of defeat taking over, I place my arm through his.
“Thank you,” I say, making sure not to address him by name in public. If what he did doesn’t cause a stir, me knowing his name surely would. The guards are not supposed to interact with me, outside of my father’s select few. I’m surprised that the man whois usually my keeper is nowhere to be found. Tarkan isn’t as bad as Pravin, but he is still one of my father’s men.
Kellan guides me from the room quickly, and before I even think about counting the arches, we are standing in front of my door. He looks around, making eye contact with the closest of the guards, and says, “Rhett, keep an eye. If anyone is coming, tap twice.” The man, Rhett, nods once before turning away, and Kellan pushes into the room, pulling me along with him unceremoniously. As soon as the door shuts, he closes the distance between us.
“What were you thinking!?” His breath puffs out, and I scrunch up my face. When I open my eyes, his are closed. He is taking a deep breath, filling his lungs; he lets the breath out slowly. I push him back gently out of my personal space.
“I was thinking that I wanted to get away from this place, Kellan. I was thinking, I want tolive!”
“Astraea,” he pleads, reaching out for me, but I spin.
“No, Kellan. And what about you? What was that? You know you can’t approach the royals so openly like that. He has killed for less! I don’t need another death hanging over my head. I’ve already caused too much.” My lip wobbles as the emotions from earlier come swimming back. I turn away so he can’t see the tears as they well in my eyes.
“You were going to hurt yourself with that display. You and I both know it.” He steps into me, his armor cold on the back of my arm. “I don’t want to see you hurt again. I care about you.” He whispers in my ear, and I freeze. He can’t care.That was the rule. We mess around, but we both know that nothing can come of it in the end. I turn to face him.
“Please, don’t.” I utter, my eyebrows tenting above my nose. My cheeks are likely blotchy and tear-stained. “Don’t care about me, Kellan. Find someone you can build a life with. I told you from the start. Nothing can come of us. There can be nous.” His jaw feathers as he thinks about what to say next. I can see all the words he wants to say flash across his warm eyes, but in the end, he knows I’m right.
“Regardless, I don’t want anything to happen to you, Astraea.” His hand cups my face, and he moves in closer, hovering over me just inches away. I place my hand over his on my cheek.
“This isn’t the end of my battle, Kellan, but the show you just put on display… You got my father’s attention with that. He will be watching you now. Please, if you truly care about me. Leave me alone. Don’t step in when I say something I shouldn’t. Don’t offer assistance or guidance. I don’t want my father looking too close at what we have. I don’t want him to take our friendship.” Not just our friendship, but his life. He knows what I mean, though, without me saying the words. He takes a step back as though my words wound him. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “Truly, I am.” He shakes his head, refusing my words.
“Don’t be. I knew that; I just… I don’t know what got into me. I will make sure a platter of food is brought to you. Please, princess, eat, clean yourself up, and get some rest.” He turns, pausing a moment with his hand on the lever to leave, and without turning to face me, he asks, “Did you ever feel anything over lust for me, Astraea?” Silence stretches between us while I think about what he is asking. I know that any answer I give is not going to be enough for him. For what he is looking for.
“You will always mean something to me, Kellan. I would never want to lose your friendship.” I say honestly, but I see him flinch. I knew anything I said would hurt him, but I hope that at least knowing that he is dear to me is enough.
“Goodnight, Princess Astraea.” He opens the door, and without a backward glance, he closes it between us. As I stare at the tall wooden door, I can’t help but feel like I’ve now lost two of the only friends I had.
Chapter fifteen
Kyros
Theguardsdemandattentionas they storm through the city. Their call for order has me bristling in frustration. Sojourn edict,sojourn edict—it's all I hear from every corner, from every mouth all around us. I can’t risk running after her, not with a sojourn edict from King Connard placed on the kingdom while he hunts whatever it is he wants down. I knew there was something about her. Something calling to me; something demanding my attention. Yet, I let those ocean eyes tell me something else when I should have listened to the thrum of the magick in my veins. There are only two possible reasons that she reactedthe way that she did at the sight of the king's guards: she has magick, or she stole something important from the king.
“Dammit,” I say through gritted teeth as I pace the room she slept in for, likely, near the hundredth time. This is the second night since the rain stopped and the girl ran. I went back looking for any trace of the feeling I had with her here, but just as I suspected—it’s gone.
Gone with her. I haven't slept, even though night has come and gone and morning shines brightly through the window now.
“Do you think that we were just picking up on the magick in general, or do you think she actually stole the relic?” Zinya comes in and stands in my path, forcing me to stop and acknowledge her. It’s not the first time she's asked the question. I just don’t know the answer, so I haven’t given her anything.
“You’re going to have to talk eventually. The guards are just entering the building across from us. They are searching every building in the kingdom. Whatever they are looking for…it’s valuable to the king, Kyros,” Mavros says from where he is leaning in the doorframe, his arms crossed over his body and his ankles crossed just the same.
“I don’t have a fucking answer. I don’t know what to say or to do right now. Is that what you want to hear?” I pin my glare on him, and his answering one is just as sharp. “For once, I just don’t fucking know what to do next. Let me think.” I guess that’s one thing we have in common. When it comes down to it, both Mavros and I are absolutely lethal when it comes to our anger. Silent furyyou don’t see coming until we erupt. That look in his eye, I know, matches mine; it's the only thing our twin genes gave us alike.
“We’re out of time to think,” Zinya says, pulling our attention to the window with a jerk of her head. “They are coming in now.” I step up to the window, peering over the ledge, and see the glint of the sun off the shiny metal of the guard’s armor. The armor has to be more of a nuisance than it is a protection. All for show. Anyone who knows anything about combat would be able to see that the only thing all that metal does in the cruel Eathian sun is bake the person inside, making them nearly useless in a fight.
“There is only one way to find out if she stole the relic. We need to get into the palace. Let’s meet the guards downstairs. Remember the roles.” I say, storming past Mavros; he takes a step out of the doorway just in time to miss the clip of my shoulder.
“Here we go,” I hear him rubbing his hands together like this is some sort of game, and it takes everything in me not to whirl on him and tell him to keep his fucking head right. The guards tear through the door just as we make it to the bottom of the stairs, and they come in just as I knew they would. Eathian soldiers are always the same. They will run their people into the sand face-first every time. Especially this far away from the palace. The people in this outer rim are dispensable. Useless to the king and mostly consisting of the Neer people.My people.
“Sit the fuck down. Remove all hoods and masks. We’re to see every face in this shithole!” An older guard yells. His leathery skin and white hair make him look older than he likely is. I glower at him as I look around the room at all the men and women who are apart of my unit. Each one of them looking back to me, awaiting my command. I give it with a simple nod and a tug on my ear, signaling them to listen.
Mavros and I don’t comply, but we aren't the only ones. A man I don't recognize puffs his chest and hits his fist to the center, dropping his arm with a grunt. A Neer way of saying ‘fuck you.’ The guard’s lip curls right before he brings the butt of his sword up and connects it to the man's nose. Another guard, with greasy brown hair and sweat-coated bronze skin, brings his steel covered knee to the back of the man's leg, making him instantly buckle. Using a foreign tongue, he curses the men and their misuse of power. It takes everything in me to keep my feet firmly planted where they are. Especially when leather skin reveals a small knife at his hip.
“Magick! Don't curse me with your witchy language, you Kru!” The knife slashes along his throat without questioning. Without caring.
The rest of the room falls into a stunned silence as the one man who stood up to them is cut down. Breathing heavily, the guard turns from the man before his life even leaves him to face us where we stand. We are not like that man, though, and the apprehension is clear in his stance. Our imposing size is that much more noticeable when everyone around has just shrank back by his tyrannical display.
“Do you have a hearing problem, son?” He says, trying to sound formidable, but as my eyes bore into his, we both know who would be left standing if he were to try anything. My magick bristlesunder my skin and makes me antsy to release it, but now is not the time. This man is not worth the trouble that would cause here.
