Page 59 of Ra
“It’s part of the prophecy. You get you back. Restored in every way.”
“I don’t want it! Take it back! Take it back now!”
“If you make me do this, you’ll regret it.”
Ra shook his head as he huffed out a laugh. “There are so many more important things to be regretted than me giving upimmortality. I don’t want it, Neith. Take it away. Leave me as Azi found me, and go away.”
“Have it your way, but I suggest you don’t call her Azi. She was very clear about that!” Neith said before she simply disappeared from where she’d been standing beside him.
Ra started walking. He had no choice if he wanted to leave this place behind — Azi was the only one he trusted to drive him anywhere.
~~~
Azi was furious for the entire ride home; shouting and pounding on the steering wheel one moment, and sobbing while angrily swiping at tears the next. Every single person that she’d trusted — and the list was minute because she allowed so few into her small, controlled world — had deceived her. And they’d deceived her as she’d blindly allowed it to happen. Never once did she question the convenience of any of it. She just allowed herself to be nudged along, like a scarab would to a ball of dung. Pushed and rolled where the scarab wanted it to go.
With the image of herself as a huge ball of dung in her mind, she pulled up in front of her home, got out of her car, and froze mid-step as she looked up at her house. Their house, her father’s and hers. He’d even managed to establish a home for her to live in regardless of where he was or wasn’t. He’d made every effort to keep her in Egypt, and she’d never questioned it. “Ball of dung,” she whispered as she shook her head and let herself into the house. She went upstairs and packed a travel bag with as many of her favorite old, worn jeans and teeshirts as she could, and carried it down to the living room, leaving it sitting at the foot of the stairs. She breathed deeply, allowing a sense of calm to settle over her, knowing that this was the first night ofher taking hold of her own life. No outside influences. No subtle nudges. Just her, and whatever occurred to her.
Azi looked around the living room, silent and still around her. It had been her refuge for all of her life, at least the part she could remember. Even when her father had lived here with her, she’d always felt a sense of belonging. “Take your time, Azi. Don’t make decisions while you’re upset,” she reminded herself. She glanced at the sofa and in her mind’s eye saw a flash of herself and Ra, grasping at one another with total abandon. Shaking her head clear of the image, she went to the kitchen and stood in front of the refrigerator with the door open, eating out of the packages of pepperoni and cheese, dipping both into a jar of spiced mustard, rather than serving herself a portion and putting it on a plate to be eaten like a civilized person. She glanced up and round the room. “I don’t have to eat it like a civilized person if I don’t want to,” she declared haughtily before eating another slice of cheese and closing the fridge on her late evening scavenging.
She walked past the end of the kitchen island and her gaze fell on a bottle of wine. Snatching it up, she opened it on her way to the sun room, plopping down in a cushioned chair to stare up at the stars through the glass roof as she slowly drank down the wine, while contemplating life in general. Why was she even here? Had her birth been orchestrated by Neith for no other reason than to serve as a playing piece in her personal game with the gods? Had her father been aware and completely complicit? Abasi had made it clear that his meeting her father, when she was still a small child had been purely incidental, but who the hell knew? So many other lies made up her life that at this point, anything was possible.
About halfway through the bottle, she giggled a bit when she realized she was in the middle of an existential crisis. And an existential crisis for someone who routinely studied the deadwas an ironic thing to consider. She scooted down a little more in the chair and closed her eyes. “I hate everybody,” she grumbled. She took another swig of wine and swallowed it down as she looked up at the stars again. Her thoughts wandered to Ra. Acutely aware that she’d left him with the rest of his people, and they were his people — Neith, Abasi, her father. Surely one of them would give him shelter, guide him to become the god he so wanted to be. Whether of her own free will or not, she’d given him life. The rest was not up to her.
A single tear tracked down her face as she closed her eyes and forced the memory of his smile, the excitement in his eyes as he saw the world for the first time, the scent of his skin, the warmth of his hands from her mind. “I hate him the most,” she whispered, before she allowed herself to let go enough to drift off into a much welcomed sleep.
~~~
Ra stood in the parking lot, looking out at the tomb that sat above the Temple of Ra. There were security guards loitering around its front, more than protecting it. But still, they were there. He watched them for a little while, wondering if they’d allow him entry, or try to chase him away. Finally, he shrugged and started toward them in the distance. “Only one way to find out,” he said aloud.
Approaching the temple complex, he adopted the posture of the gods, carrying himself as though everything, even the ground beneath his feet was thankful to have had the chance to be near him. The moment he set foot on the path that led to the tomb, they saw him. He looked right at them, not giving any indication of doubt regarding his ability to gain unfettered access.
Both guards stood strong as they watched him approach, preparing to send him on his way.
Ra prepared for just that, then had to suppress a smile the moment he realized they recognized him. Both men dropped their gazes to the ground at his feet, and dropped their hands to their sides. When he was barely twenty feet away from them, and still walking straight toward them, they both took a step toward their side of the walkway, separating and giving him clear access. The guard on the right, then seemed to realize the door was locked and darted toward it, taking a key from around his neck to unlock the door, then using another on the same chain with it, to unlock a second lock, just above the first. He opened the double doors and shoved them aside, then stepped back quickly to clear the way for Ra to enter.
Ra stopped at the entrance, then took the time to look at both men. Azi wouldn’t just walk right by. She’d thank them both. “Thank you for your assistance.”
The guards looked up at him, clearly surprised. “We are favored to assist you,” one of them said.
“It’s just the opposite,” Ra said, nodding graciously at both of them before he walked through the open doors and descended the staircase straight into his temple.
He turned on the lights that had been added to make the experience more comfortable for the tourists who flocked to see the evidence of his greatness. Shaking his head to dispel the thought, he huffed out a long, deep breath. “Will you ever learn?” he asked himself, his voice echoing through the expanse of the temple. Ra clasped his hands relaxedly behind his back and strolled around the temple, taking the time to appreciate each and every feature painted onto its walls, every relief carved to stand out among the paintings. Every bit of gold that had been painstakingly hammered to shape, then polished and applied to the columns and walls. “I never thanked one of you who createdthis temple of ineffable beauty. I just saw it as expected. For that I am profoundly sorry. And sorrier still for not thanking you for your unwavering attention and service to me. You were each instrumental in enabling me to be a god, but I was never worthy.” He walked all the way around the inside of his temple, reaching out here and there to touch certain scenes before he finally found a place and sat, leaning in the corner, his head resting in the place the walls came together, his eyes closed. “Would that I had met Azenath sooner, perhaps she’d have made me a better man. Maybe the god in me would have followed suit.”
Hours later, Neith arrived, simply glaring at the guards outside until they scattered in opposite directions. She entered the tomb, looking around herself in distaste as she gathered the skirt of her dress closer about her to avoid the dust of the stone walls gathering on her clothes. She made her way down the stairway, making sure that each footstep was easily heard, eventually stepping into the temple. She felt him there before her eyes settled on him where he reclined in the corner, head resting on the wall, one knee bent, his hands resting in his lap, fingers laced together. “Feeling sorry for yourself, or apologizing to your fellow gods for not freeing them?” she asked, intentionally baiting him.
Ra didn’t open his eyes, but he wasn’t surprised, that much was clear. “If you must know, I’m apologizing to the hundreds of workers who spent their lives creating this place for me to simply walk into and not even notice. And to thousands and thousands of lives with no other purpose than to serve me, and I never, not one single time uttered the word thank you. I never appreciated a single person.”
“Why? Do you think it even matters? They are long dead.”
“Any kindness matters. Even if they are long gone, they deserve recognition. What do you want, Neith?”
“You have surprised me, Ra. I believed there would never be a day that you’d be sitting here, regretting the chance at a second lifetime.”
He opened his eyes, raised his head from where it rested and looked at her. “I can’t say I did such a great job with the first.”
“Of course, you did. You established a civilization that still speaks our names. You made us all immortal.”
“No, you did that. I simply took advantage of those who would serve us to make myself even more adored. I should be ashamed.”
