Page 115 of True Honey
SHORE
“Why aren’t you in bed with your wife?” I asked him as he sank to the dock beside me. He handed me a cup of coffee and scowled.
“Because mywife,” he emphasized, “saw you sitting down here like a kicked dog and made me leave my warm bed to check on you.”
I chuckled, bringing the mug to my lips. “Sorry,” I said after a minute.
“Make it count,” Arlo said.
“I think I fucked up.”
He didn’t even flinch.
I had definitely fucked up, unreasonably so. I had talked myself into waiting, to give her more time so she could come to the realization herself. But she looked so peaceful, so ready to hear it at that moment. My idiot head was clouded by how good she felt that I didn’t stop to think about how terrified she probably felt trapped in that moment. Cornered like an animal.
“She’s pregnant isn’t she?” He asked, looking terrified. I was so lost in my thoughts I forgot to follow up.
“No, what the hell?” I scoffed, “I’m not some seventeen year old idiot with a wandering dick Arlo.”
“Could have fooled me,” he laughed.
“The lake looks nice and cold, want to go for a swim?” I threatened and he cracked a smile. The wind kicked up through the trees and rustled everything around. Usually it would bring some solace but the knot was tied so tightly in my chest that I didn’t even know where to begin to get it undone.
“Only if you go with me,” Arlo said. “What happened?”
“I told her I loved her,” I confessed and Arlo looked at me like I slapped him.
“Idiot,” he sighed, “one look at her and it's clear that she’s cagey, Si. Even Ella said she’s tough to crack. Anytime she tries to make small talk Drew bricks up and finds a way out of it. I can’t even imagine how she reacted.”
“Ar I was—” I stopped and did the motion with my hand.
“You said it with your fucking dick inside her?” Arlo barked, his laughter hopping across the quiet lake. “You’re unbelievably dumb.”
“If all you’re going to do is call me stupid go back to Ella,” I sighed, setting the mug down.
“I’m sorry,” he said, trying to stop. “What do you want, Si?” He asked once he calmed down, his tone more serious than before.
What did I want?I inhaled slowly, completely fucking unsure.
“I want to keep doing what I’m doing,” I answered. I knew that much. “I want to help everyone at Harbor.” I didn’t hesitate. “I want to support you guys, I want—”
“Her.” Arlo finished my sentence.
“She’s at the top of my list,” I admitted."Her and Auggie."
“So you didn’t just say I love you, to say it?” He asked.
“No…maybe? No…” I went back and forth. “No.”
“So you do,” Arlo pushed with a cocky smile, “say it.”
“Say what?” I rolled my eyes at him. He stared at me, waiting for it and suddenly the air felt thick and my mouth went dry. “I love her.”
“I can’t believe you’re older than me,” he said. “Do you remember when Mom died, whatyourmom said to me?”
“That was like ten years ago,” I scoffed.
“Think hard,” Arlo snapped, wetting his bottom lip.
