Page 44 of Honeysuckle
TUCKER
Thebuswasloaded,and Silas was running final checks before we hit the road back to Harbor. I stood to the side, staring at the camp, wishing that I could just stay here for a day or two more. I needed to sit in the silence and try to figure out exactly what I wanted from everything. Maybe find the courage to tell my family before they find out from a news source or school gossip.
Silas wandered over, handed me an apple, and crossed his arms.
“Thanks for skipping breakfast this morning.” He scowled.
"I was packing," I said with a shrug, ignoring him and the way my thoughts felt sluggish, rolling around in the back of my mind.
“That’s probably the most bullshit answer you’ve given me to date.” He shook his head. “Eat.”
I took a bite of the apple, counting each chew before swallowing and stared at him. "Happy now?”
“Do I look happy?” He asked, and the answer was obviously no. “I want you back with Riona when we get home, no more of this bullshit.”
“Seriously, Doc?” I groaned. I didn’t have time for mandated therapy right now.
“Deadly,” he snapped. “You don’t wanna listen to my advice? You deal with her. She won’t let you get away with this shit and you know it.”
“She’s terrifying,” I whined, knowing exactly how pathetic I sounded.
“You should have thought about that before you decided to open Pandora’s box,” he reminded me. “I’ll call her on the way home and make you an appointment.”
“I can do it myself,” I said as he patted my shoulder and made his way to the bus.
"I know you can, but you won’t. So I’m skipping the middleman—just like you skipped breakfast." He stared at me one last time before disappearing up the stairs.
I sighed, still stalled out and unable to move my feet.
Leaving meant dealing with every complicated puzzle piece back home. All I wanted to do was play baseball and forget about all of it. I was half tempted to pull them off the bus just for one last practice.Inhaling the smell of camp, pine trees and lake water, I let it fill my lungs and wash down the stress. The trees rustled in the wind as the clouds moved in; there was a storm coming in more ways than one, and I wasn’t ready to weather either of them.
“Tuck,” Josh’s voice came from behind me, and I turned to look at him. “Get on the bus.”
I nodded and followed him up the steps to the only open seats on the bus. I looked around hesitantly before sinking into the seat next to him. Cael winked at me and gave me two thumbs up as I took the seat. I had a feeling the ride back wouldn’t be a thumbs-up situation, more like awkward silence with a few choice words that would surely piss one of us off.
That seemed to be the circle we had drawn out, uncomfortable silence followed by me saying something stupid that set Josh off, only for him to prove my point. I turned to speak—though I didn’t even know what I was going to say,but he was staring out the window, completely oblivious to my struggle.
How did I ask him about his past without starting a fight?
And how the fuck was Cael so good at doing it? When I tried to get to know people, they just talked to me like I was a toddler or yelled at me like I was prying into things I wasn’t allowed to know.
“What’s your favorite color?” I blurted out and immediately regretted it.
“What?” Josh turned to look at me.
I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat to give him as much space as I could manage. “Your favorite color…”
“I don’t have one.” Josh stared at me as if I were insane.
“You don’t have a favorite color?” I asked him, confused by his answer. He could have said anything, blue, red… but instead he said he didn’t have one.
“Nope,” he grumbled. It looked like he was going to turn back around, but he stayed staring at me. I could smell the cologne he used that morning, and it tangled with the faint smell of generic camp shampoo and the pine tar he used on his bats; it lingered on his skin and tickled my nose. I inhaled slowly, filling my chest with air and living in that scent because it was a small piece of my haven left behind for another year.
“Mine’s yellow,” I said to him when I finally collected my thoughts.
“You would love the most obnoxious color in the rainbow, Tuck.” Josh shook his head at me. “What’s appealing about yellow?”
“Golden retrievers, buttercups, bananas…” I shrugged.
