Page 125 of Honeysuckle
“Right now?” He looked at the clock. “It’s ten o’clock, Tuck,” he scowled.
“So?” I slid from the bed to grab a hoodie. "Indulge me.”
“Are you going to give me my phone back?” He asked me and I shook my head.
“Mine's on, if there’s an emergency, someone will call,” I said softly and pulled the hoodie over my head before opening the door.
He was apprehensive until we finally got on the road. The highway pushed back the defensive feelings and soon enough he had actually fallen asleep. Three hours later I pulled down into the gravel road, the shift in terrain waking Josh up. He shifted in his seat, looking around at the dense tree lines in the pitch black.
“Where the hell are we?” He asked, trying to regain his bearings.
“Camp,” I said, pulling the Jeep into the empty parking lot.
“What the hell?” Josh scowled. “We have practice tomorrow, Tucker,” he said, his voice deep and angry. “And there’s no fucking service out here!”
“Exactly,” I said. "Get out of the Jeep, we’re going for a swim.”
“This isn’t a joke,” Josh hollered as I hopped down to the ground and shut the door behind me. He could sit in there if he wanted, pout and whine but I brought the keys with me and I had his phone…
I stripped off the sweater and then my shirt, tossing them on the dock as I approached. I kicked off my shoes and nearly lost my balance getting out of my socks. I shucked from my jeans and underwear, and the silence of an empty camp was liberating. The water was warmer than when we were here for spring camp, and it engulfed me in an overwhelming static noise that drowned out all the worries as soon as I hit the surface.
I held my breath as long as I could before pushing to the top and falling back into the water on my back to stare up at the stars. The water lapped around my sides, muting the world as I lost myself in the serene feeling of being completely unbothered.
Josh’s footsteps creaked against the dock, and I turned my head to see him standing there in his sweats. The moon, the only light around us, practically made him glow. Every scar on his torso, the bigger ones that maimed his chest and ribcage, all places that no one was ever supposed to find them.
“What the fuck is with you guys and this damn lake?” He growled, his eyes scanning the glossy surface.
“Are you going to stand there and stare at me or get in?” I asked him, standing up in the water. It rose to my chest as my feet sank to the bottom and dug into the soft, muddy lake floor. “You’re halfway there,” I smiled at him as he ran his shaky hands through his hair.
“I don’t think so, Tuck,” he said nervously, and it was such a strange tone coming from him. “What if there’s someone around? We shouldn’t be up here. Coach is gonna flip his lid if we’re too exhausted to practice tomorrow and neither of us gets enough sleep to begin with. Let’s just go back to Dansby…” He said.
“It’s just us here,” I said to him, pushing back toward the dock. I knew that the riverside of the camp that ran off the lake was more shallow, but Josh had been adamant that he could swim. “Forget Harbor. Just for an hour—it’s you and me,” I said, resting my arms on the dock. Hopeful that it would be enough to get him in the water.
Josh squatted down in front of me and sighed, his hand coming out and daring to push through the damp curls that stuck to my forehead. I caught his hand before he pulled away, pressing my lips to his wrist and mumbled. "Get in the water, Logan.”
“Alright,” he conceded. He stood up and pushed his thumbs into the band of his sweats, rolling them down over his hips and kicking off his shoes in the process. He left his boxers on, but they gripped his thighs as he slipped down into the water from the dock directly in front of me.
I waded back from the edge, giving him the space to adjust to the water but never taking my eyes off him as his arms moved in soft circles. The moon reflected off the ripping water between us, and there was a simple, calming silence that fell over the lake. He closed his eyes, and I could see every muscle in his body start to relax in the water. He was letting his mind go just for a moment, breathing in the silence and letting it fill in all the spaces that held anxiety and panic.
It was just him and the quiet.
Josh inhaled slowly, and I mirrored his breathing.
After some time, he opened his eyes, and they were lighter in color, softer.
“Feel better?” I asked him.
He nodded, keeping his lips in a tight line while his eyes flickered up to the sky. It’d been a gamble whether or not being out here would work. I knew how it made me feel when I was overwhelmed by everything, stepping off that bus every year and having the fresh air hit my face, the quiet rustle of animals unbothered by city traffic. The early morning and late nights, the crackling of a fire and the laughter of my friends.
The three-hour drive was almost always worth it.
Josh inhaled again, filling his lungs and letting them out just as slowly. The scars on his chest stretched and pulled with his muscles from the motion. I let myself reach out and touch the one on his collarbone. I traced it over the jagged line wondering what caused the damage, he shuttered gently under the contact.
“They wouldn’t ask questions,” I said to him, and he looked down at my hand, his own coming around it to hold it still. “About the scars, if you wanted to change in the locker room, they wouldn’t even bat an eye.”
“It’s not one or two, Tuck,” he mumbled, his throat bobbing.
“Doesn’t matter,” I said. "We’re all covered in scars.” I turned in the water, showing him my back. I couldn’t see it, but I knew it was there because Cael used to trace it as he fell asleep. “Just below my shoulder blade is a deep scar from my brother pushing me out of our tree house. I hit the wooden ladder, needed thirty-two stitches,” I said.
