Page 38 of A Night of Indulgence and Sloth
Her erratic movements ease until she stills, breathing deeply in a restful slumber. Neither one of us wants to leave her alone again, not while the demons wreak havoc in her mind. Kaleb curls beside her on the bed while I make myself comfortable on the plush chair in the corner.
Don’t worry, Lily-love, your ghosts don’t stand a chance against us.
Liliana
Five Days Later.
When we escaped the farm, I thought I’d left the past behind me, but I was wrong.
It’s taken everything within me not to fold in on myself. I was making progress, becoming a new person, with friends and a job I loved. Now it feels tainted somehow. Even though the gala wasn’t an official Exalta Solutions event, I was struggling not to fear every phone call or meeting request. Clearly, the man who used my body as a teen ran in the same circles. And now he knows where I work.
How long will it be before he tells my uncle?
In the days following the event, I kept my fears hidden, locked up tight in the corners of my mind. Aiden and Kaleb had been way more supportive than I could have imagined. When I woke up naked in Kaleb’s bed the next morning, it was like waking up at the farm once the sedative wore off. I was drowsy, confused, and once again, afraid.
If it hadn’t been for Kaleb sleeping beside me or Aiden’s nearby presence, I probably would have freaked. To my surprise,they hadn’t demanded information, yet I could see in their eyes that they were curious. Something in my gut told me they wanted to know only because they cared, and maybe if I let them in, I’d discover that the world really isn’t so shitty. Sadly, life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. I couldn’t have told them even if I wanted to. Not when everything was so fresh and the memory of what transpired between Kaleb and I, here in his bed, came rushing back. So I ran instead.
To say things have been weird since is an understatement. My overactive brain probably isn’t helping, but it’s impossible not to notice the subtle differences. Somedays it feels like they’re avoiding me, which only leads to me doing the same. Instead of speaking to them in person, I’ve resorted to emailing whenever necessary or leaving post-it notes on their desk when they step out. It’s ridiculous.
Calantha assures me I’m not doing myself any favors by avoiding the subject. She says there’s no way either of them know what we went through and if I’d just talk to them each about it, I’ll know what they’re thinking and can stop with the mental conversations. She’s probably right. It’s not as if they’ve treated me differently, at least not like they would if Burt had told them the sordid details of my past.If he did, they’d surely find me repulsive.
And that’s how I find myself cornering Aiden before a meeting to apologize.
“Um, hi.”Great fucking start, Lil.
“Liliana,” Aiden replies, a smile curving his luscious lips.
“I’m sorry for causing a scene at the gala. And for acting all weird after, including right now. Yup, I’m definitely being weird. Okay, now I’m going to go hide or stew over this entire one-sided conversation.” I turn to leave, needing to escape this dumpster fire of my own making, when Aiden’s hand lands on my shoulder.
“You have nothing to apologize for. It’s that idiot Burt who owes you an apology, though that wouldn’t even begin to make things right. That night doesn’t change a single thing between us, at least not in the way you’re thinking.”
“You say that now, but you’ve been avoiding me. Deny it all you want, but I did have to corner you in order to have this conversation.”
He grins. “You’re right, I was. But it was only because I didn’t want to smother you. I was only trying to give you space. I never meant to make you think you’d lost a friend.”
“Is that what we are then, friends?” I ask, gazing at my fingers like a coward. My emotions have been all over the place as of late. Between the kiss I shared with Aiden in Massachusetts and the way I fell apart for Kaleb after the gala, my lady bits were giving me all sorts of wild ideas.
At night, I’m plagued with bad dreams. Burt has Calantha in my old room, the one my uncle gave me to please his guests, and I’m trapped in the wall, forced to watch him defile her. But during the day, I relive the soft moments with Aiden and Kaleb, wanting to feel their touch more than anything else. What the hell is wrong with me? What kind of person does that make me, to want them after everything I’ve endured?
“If that’s what you wish, then yes. I would very much like to be friends.”
I give him a bright smile as I finally bring my eyes up to meet his. Friends is what we should be. Friends is all I can really handle at the moment, anyway. “Good. It’s settled.”
I walk back to my desk, knowing I need to have a similar conversation with Kaleb later today but happy that at least one of them is over with.
Work picks up, keeping me busy until somehow, it’s the end of the day. Aiden is on a call in the office, but Kaleb is just returning from a meeting with Karl from marketing.
“Heading out?” he asks as I grab my purse and jacket.
“I was hoping we could talk first.”
He tries and fails to hide the surprise from his face, but it quickly turns to delight as he pulls me into a nearby empty boardroom. “Is everything alright, Lily?”
“Oh. Yes, everything’s good. Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you. I just wanted to apologize for the scene I caused and make sure we were okay after what happened. It was very unprofessional of me, and I just hope you’ll give me another chance to prove that I won’t be a problem.” Being in this closed room makes everything more potent. His nearness, the woody scent of his cologne, and the way he looks at me, like I placed every star in the night’s sky. It’s hard not to get lost in it. In him.
“No way. Nope. I don’t accept your apology because there’s no need for it. What happened at the gala was not your fault, and what happened after… that was something I’d been wanting to do for a very long time.” He steps closer, brushing the hair from my face with such tenderness that tears threaten to build behind my eyes.
“Oh.” I sound like a fool, and maybe I am, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve finally found people who truly get me. Both of my two incredibly attractive bosses are telling me it’s not my fault when they don’t even have the full story. Knowing they have such faith in me is more than I could have ever hoped for. Not everyone would have felt the same way.Am I just going to ignore the rest of his comment? Oh, hell yeah. I can’t let myself think about it or I’ll melt into a puddle right here on the boardroom floor.
