Page 92 of Releasing 10
But I tried to.
And it was bad.
Hugh said so.
And Hugh wouldneverlie to me.
I trusted him most in the world.
He was my best friend.
“How do you know?” I asked then. “About the bad touch?”
“My mam told me all about it,” he explained. “Why? Didn’t your mam tell you?”
I shook my head.
He frowned. “Really?”
I shook my head, feeling clueless. It felt like I was sitting in class and everyone else knew the answer except me. I felt stupid. It was a bad feeling. It made my skin grow hot.
“Okay, well, there are parts of your body that are just for you,” Hugh started to explain. “For boys, their private part is their penis. For girls, their private part is their vagina. Andnobodyis allowed to touch your vagina. Not your friends. Or your family members. And especially not grown-ups.”
“What if you’re sick?” I asked, feeling like my world was crashing down around me.
Hugh frowned. “Sick?”
“What if you’re sick and need the medicine to get better?” I pushed, digging my nails into my hands. “What if you’re bad and need to be fixed?”
“Liz, if you get sick, then you go to the doctor, and they can give you medicine for that,” Hugh explained with a frown. “Do you understand?”
No. “Yes.”
He eyed me warily. “Are you sure?”
No. “Yes.”
“Okay.” Hugh looked at me for a long moment before blowing out what sounded like a relieved breath. “Good, because there are monsters out there that like to do bad things to kids.”
“Monsters?”
“Yeah.” Hugh nodded. “Anyone who hurts children is a monster in disguise.”
My eyes widened in terror.
“You don’t need to be scared or anything,” he was quick to assure me. “You just need to know about this stuff, so you know when to tell a grown-up.” He smiled. “Okay?”
“Okay.” I nodded my head before bursting into tears. I wanted to throw myself out of the treehouse and hit my head fifty times on the way down because I would rather be dead than do something bad to Hugh.
I couldn’t explain the devastation that washed over me in this moment.
“It’s okay, Liz, it’s okay.” He hurried to soothe me, wrapping his arms around me. “You’re only a kid. You didn’t know.”
“I just wanted to f-fix you. M-make you f-feel better,” I cried into my hands. “I d-didn’t know it was b-bad, Hugh. I’m so s-sorry.”
“I know, and it’s okay,” he coaxed, wrapping me up in his arms. “I’m not mad at you.”
“I sh-should g-go h-home.”
