Page 11 of A Winter in Wonderland
‘You know Christmas is painful for me. Why are you making me do this?’
Shay softened. ‘I don’t want to make you relive bad memories, that’s not fun for me. But this wall you’ve built against this time of year is affecting your life. I want you to be able to cope with it. I’m not saying youhaveto then celebrate it; I’m just saying I don’t want its presence to stop you living your best life.’
‘All right,’ I answered. It was a fair point. As mentioned, Iknew I wasn’t fun to be around. I opened the Lapland itinerary and scanned down the details. The workers (which wouldn’t be me) would be flying out in about ten days from their various points across the world, arriving over forty-eight hours into Rovaniemi airport in Finnish Lapland before heading to a secluded area a little outside Luosto, the area that Love Adventuring Lapland – the company my sister’s agency were recruiting for – worked out of.
There was a big list of things everybody ought to bring, from base layers to thermals to thick socks. Quite the adventure.
‘You’re doing well, you know,’ Shay said to me at the end of the day as we were packing up to head back to her house for the night. ‘I’ll break you yet, but you’re doing well.’
‘Then why are you smiling?’ I asked with suspicion.
‘Because for every minute you hold it together and smile and allow yourself to enjoy the festivities, it’s another minute you’re proving to me that you’ll cope in Lapland just fine.’
Hmm. Should I be purposefullynotholding it together? But then I’d lose the bet. My damned sister had me in a right catch-22.
I was quiet on the journey back to Shay’s, exhausted from a day working for her (perhaps I shouldn’t have been so quick to run out of some of those other jobs) as well as a bit crabby from my lack of sleep the night before. I leant my head against the Tube window and closed my eyes, picturing falling asleep to the sound of sea waves under a warm December sunshine, far, far away.
Shay thwacked me. ‘Wake up, and please don’t put your face against things on public transport. This is our stop.’
When we arrived back at Shay’s, I opened the door to the scent of roast turkey. ‘I knew it!’ I said. ‘I knew you’d have something like this planned.’
Shay raised her eyebrows. ‘Don’t fancy turkey tonight?’ she dared me.
‘It sounds perfect,’ I demurred.
Walking in the house, my heart sank. Tess had goneall out, having had the day off, and had transformed the house into a cosy Christmas abode that could rival Santa’s grotto. Scented candles were lit, not just one or two –allof them, filling the house with a fog of gingerbread and fir tree and cinnamon. A tree was up in the corner, covered in at least two strings of manically flashing multicoloured lights. Trimmings were toasting in the oven.
I could feel myself getting scratchy when, during a large, full, Christmas dinner, Band Aid finished, and then started up, yet again, on the stereo.
‘Shall we put some different music on?’ I asked in my most pleasant voice.
Shay put down her fork and started to smile.
‘Other Christmas music I mean, of course,’ I said quickly. I stuffed a sprout in my mouth, having helped myself to more than a bit of everything just to show I could.
When dinner finally finished, I was feeling pretty glum, especially listening to Shay and Tess compare the turkey to the one they’d had last year, and Shay trying to coax me into discussing how, as kids, we sometimes had gooseinstead. I didn’t want these memories dredged up; this wasn’t fair.
Think of the sun. Think of the sun.
I stifled a yawn. It was only coming up to nine p.m. but I was ready for bed, and was about to say as much when Shay said, ‘Right, let’s cap off this wonderful festive celebration with a festive romcom double-bill, shall we?’
I felt a lightning bolt of annoyance flash through me, which I pushed down. ‘I’m quite sleepy actually – much as I’d love to.’
‘Nonsense, it’s Christmas,’ Shay said.
I climbed onto the sofa and settled down, while Shay found the most sickly-sweet offering available on the TV.
After what seemed like at least three hours of a movie, I pulled out my phone to check the time. Nine thirty?!
Tess paused the film. ‘Aren’t you watching, Myla?’ she said, even though I knew full well she was playing a game on her iPad over there.
‘Just thought I’d check out some destination ideas for my big, tropical holiday in six weeks’ time,’ I smirked. ‘What do you guys think of Bali?’
‘I think you’re wasting your time,’ Shay retorted. ‘Now put that phone away and watch the movie.’
But my eyelids were not playing ball, and they drooped further and further …
‘Deck the halls with boughs of holly!’ Shay and Tess suddenly sang in extremely loud unison, starting me awake and giving me hiccups. I rubbed my eyes,hic, and looked around me. I was still on the sofa, the sickly candles stillburning, the technicolour movie still playing, the tree lights still flashing, the sharp taste of brandy butter still in my mouth. And now my sister and her wife were standing over me hollering Christmas carols at my face.
