Page 12 of A Winter in Wonderland
I felt myself beginning to blow. I just wanted to go to sleep. I just wanted it to stop. I just wanted to not have anything to do with any of this, any more.
‘What are you doing,hic?’ I asked.
‘Keeping your Christmas spirit alive,’ answered Shay.
‘Hic, stop it.’ I put my hand over my chest, painful from the hiccups.
‘If you want it to stop, you know what to do,’ she sang, and launched into a series of fa-la-las. Tess put her hand on Shay’s arm and looked at me.
A tear escaped.Hic. ‘I said stop it,’ I said louder.
‘Make me,’ Shay dared, and then her smile faded a little. ‘Are you OK?’
‘No! No, I’m not OK, I don’t want to do this, I can’t do this. You win! OK? You win. You were right. I can’t go twenty-four hours without complaining about Christmas, because it makes me miserable,thismakes me miserable,youare making me miserable. Are you happy? So now I guess I’ll be going to Lapland and be miserable for the whole winter, thanks a lot. Now, I’m really grateful for the job today and for the food and the hospitality but please, please, please can we blow out these candles—’ I blew out five candles in one huffy huff. ‘And turn off those lights that are killing my eyes—’ I yanked the plug from the wall. ‘And switch off that movie and pleeeeeease stop singing and let me go to sleep?’
Well, that got rid of my hiccups. I stood, panting, while Shay and Tess looked at me with wide eyes. I blushed and sat back down on the sofa, wiping away the tear.
Tess picked up the remote and turned off the TV, and then quietly went around the room blowing out the remaining candles. Shay sat down beside me.
‘Are you OK?’ she asked again.
After a couple more calming breaths I said, ‘Why on earth would you make me do this if you know I can’t handle it?’
She propped a cushion behind her back and laid a hand on her pregnant belly. ‘First of all, I’m not making you do this. Nobody can make you do anything. If it bothers you that much … well, it’s just a bet.’
‘No,’ I sighed. ‘A bet is a bet, I agreed to it and I’m not backing out. I just feel like you’re making a massive mistake sending me,’ I grumbled.
We were both quiet for a minute, though I didn’t feel like sleeping as much as I had before.
Eventually Shay said, ‘I want you to go because I think you can handle it. I think you have to learn how to start handling it.’
‘Why? What’s so terrible about me not celebrating Christmas? An awful lot of people in the world don’t.’
‘I know. There’s nothing wrong with not celebrating Christmas, but like I said before, you let avoiding this season rule your life these days. This past year especially. Nobody needs you to love Christmas, but I thinkyouneed to not have to go to such great lengths to avoid it. It makes me sad that you’ve started to hide yourself away every year.’
‘Not … not every year.’ She was right, though. ‘But this is still hiding away, just all the way in the North Pole.’
‘It’s not the North Pole, did you even read the brochure? Anyway, there was a time you didn’t hate it. I’m curious if that version of you is still in there.’
‘People change, Shay.’
‘They sure can,’ she agreed, and smiled. ‘So … what’s it going to be?’
‘You won,’ I sighed. ‘I’m going.’
‘It’s a yes? You’re sure?’
I shrugged and muttered, ‘Sure.’
‘Good.’ Shay looked relieved and I furrowed my brows at her. Looking a little bashful she explained, ‘I already got the paperwork started on your Finnish work permit in the hope it’ll be completed in time.’
‘I can do those things; you don’t need to stick your neck out for me.’
‘I already kinda have,’ she replied. ‘A lot of people apply for this opportunity, Myla. A lot. It’s possible we could have filled it elsewhere, but I wanted you to have it.’
‘I thought you’d lost somebody last minute, and needed to fill the place?’
‘That’s true but … ’
‘What are you saying?’
‘I’m saying that I had to do some serious begging to let my sister fill the place without so much as an interview.’ With a satisfied nod, my sister stood up. ‘I think it’s bedtime, for all of us.’
I made my way to their guest room, where I stood for amoment, before giving the two-foot-tall singing Christmas tree she’d left on the floor a kick, tipping it onto its side.
I lost the bet. And I don’t want to talk about it.
