Page 94 of My Wife
“I’m talking about healing. It’s not the responsibility of the world to tiptoe around you so we don’t upset you, set you off, ortriggeryou. That’s on you.”
Now, she’s being ultra direct. Have I created a monster?
“I’m telling you to get over it.”
I ask, “What happened to one of your upbeat, optimism-laced unicorn and sparkles pep talks?”
Jessica plants her hands on her hips. “Life can be a boxer. It’s going to knock you down. It’s up to you to get back up.”
“But I don’t know how to come back from this.” I flash the texts from my ex which have intensified in recent weeks, including her financial demands and my questions about why she didn’t give the kid proper medical care and attention.
Jessica’s eyes grow as she reads the messages.
I say, “A Bundt won’t fix this.”
“Are you suggesting wedon’ttry to kill her with kindness?”
“Are you suggesting we resort to murder instead?” Even for me, that’s a bridge too far.
Alarmed, Jessica motions with her fingers in a solidNogesture that could be understood by anyone even if they’re not fluent in ASL. “I meant to make friends. Everyone?—”
“Not Pam,” I say, referring to my ex.
“Who?” Jessica’s tone lifts in question.
“Pamberlie,” I add, using her full name.
Jessica’s gaze grows momentarily distant. “Pamberlie Coogan?”
“How’d you know?”
Jessica presses her hand to her forehead. “She was almost my sister-in-law.”
25
LIAM
Jessicaand I stare at each other for a long moment as if there were a glitch in a computer program and the screen froze.
“Are we talking about the same person?” I ask.
“It’s a unique name,” she says.
“And there’s no mistaking Coogan.”
Filled with disbelief, I crouch down and pick up all the stuff I’d scattered on the floor, feeling ashamed and confused.
Jessica perches on the edge of my desk and studies her hands. “The day we met at the bakery, I wasn’t wearing the wedding gown because I thought it was Halloween.”
“You mean you weren’t testing out a witch bride costume?”
She doesn’t look up.
I clear my throat. “I’m sorry for calling you that and for being so rude. I was so caught up in protecting myself, that I wasn’t paying attention to all the people I was possibly harming. A coarse word here. A dismissal there. It all adds up. I can only imagine the wreckage.”
She doesn’t laugh or smile.
An ache that has nothing to do with my workout earlier or from punching the walls seizes me. The worst thing in my life is when Jessica isn’t smiling. This means the best thing in my life is …
