Page 76 of My Wife
“The dog?”
“And lipstick.” I eye the kid who has exhibited much better behavior since Jessica entered our lives.
“Oof.”
“Shortly after that, our childcare arrangement came to an abrupt and sticky end.”
“I don’t want to know, but look at you, giving encouraging words.”
I snort. “Yeah, if I’d only been so successful at practice yesterday.”
Pivot,pivot, pivot.
I wring my hand on the back of my neck. “I’ve never, not in my entire career, dreaded the idea of going to practice.” I cannot believe I just said that out loud.
Jessica looks at me thoughtfully. “Any particular reason?”
“I know I’m not living up to expectations as team captain.”
“You could bake the guys a cake.”
I groan but reach for the Bundt she brought back.
Jessica says, “Keep your hands where I can see them. I’m bringing that to Grandma Dolly.”
“I thought she was away at an ASL conference.”
“She got back last night. We have an appointment this afternoon.”
“We do?” I mentally scan through the agenda she creates for me each day on colorful paper with bullet points and perfect penmanship. She often decorates them with stickers. I’d planned on hitting the gym in my spare time.
“KJ and I do, but you’re coming with. We’re going to help you start captaining like a captain.”
My brow lowers. “How do you recommend you’re going to do that? The kid doesn’t know how to tie his shoes. Are you even qualified? You don’t know a puck from a biscuit.”
“I don’t need to. It’s time for you to learn a new language.”
At that, Jessica, the kid, and I leave the deathtrap on wheels in my parking lot and spend the bulk of the rest of the day with Grandma Dolly, with me in the remedial ASL class, and my nanny and son winning gold stars for achievement.
By the time we conclude, half the Bundt cake is gone—Grandma Dolly recognized that I can be treat motivated—and I know ten new signs. She assured me that if I set a goal to learn a new one each day, or ten, or twenty, soon I’ll be fluent.
Not going to lie, the kid lights up when I talk to him with my hands. We have a breakthrough and for that reason, I take everyone out to Spaglietti’s for pizza.
When we return to Grandma Dolly’s house, she signs that she’s turning in for the night and will see us in the morning.
I pump the air. “Success. I understood.” Also, I had some context clues. But still. This is progress.
Jessica, the master of my schedule, turns to me with a questioning tilt to her head. “Ready for class number two?”
I check the kid’s seatbelt and crank the heat. “I asked Dolly to look after the kid for a few hours. Tomorrow you and I have an appointment. I’ll pick you up around ten—after my workout and dry land training.”
“See you then, boss.” She starts to walk away, hips swinging, but before she reaches the door, I call her back.
“Jessica, how did that help me start captaining like a captain?”
“You’re learning a new language, right?”
“The kid has a better vocabulary than me and he’s three.”
