Page 97 of My Wife

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My stomach swoops and energy I shouldn’t have at this late hour suddenly rushes through me. How much truth can I reveal?

Me: I know you call me Mr. Meanie. Have broken the rules … At first I thought it was childish. Now it’s kind of endearing.

Jessica: Says the guy who has adult temper tantrums. I also call you Big Daddy. Just in my head mostly. Is that weird? You’re big and a daddy.

Is it odd that I like that she has names for me?

Me: Are there any others?

Jessica: Love Puff.

Me: You do not call me that.

Jessica: I might now.

Me: Have any secrets?

Jessica: Loads. You?

Me: A few.

Actually, just the one and she can never know. Whatever we have would instantly be over. She’d hate me if she found out.

Jessica: Okay, since you asked and practically had to drag it out of me, I have a deep coffee insecurity.

Me: I didn’t ask and I already knew that.

Jessica: Okay, how about this one? I’m a dysfunctional adult.

Me: On the contrary, you’re highly functioning, running my life, the kid’s, and yours.

Jessica: Turns out it’s easier to help others.

Me: Than to help yourself?

She doesn’t answer, but I want to help her. Show her how special she is. How important. Smart, beautiful, adored. The desire comes over me with the same forceful drive as I have to win the finals.

Whoa. Time topivot,pivot,pivot. Or not.

Me: Here’s one. My brother has major rizz and sometimes I get jealous.

Jessica: Frizz? Why would you be jealous of that?

Me: No, rizz, like confidence, charm. Basically, he’s my opposite.

Jessica: Look at you, using slang like a modern man instead of a caveman.

Me: So you knew what it meant. Why’d you ask if I meant frizz?

Jessica: Because maybe I wanted to say that I like how you are.

Me: You constantly call me a grump.

Jessica: I never said I don’t like it.

Me: How could you like a grump?

Jessica: Stop being so judgy.