Page 85 of My Wife
“I’d tell you the good news. We’d do an ASL cheer, maybe share a family hug?—”
His eyebrow lifts sharply.
My mouth opens and closes but no sound comes out.
Liam’s blue-gray stare burns cold into me.
“I mean, you’d hug KJ again because of what this means for his future. Then you’d sign to him about how much you like seeing him in Knights gear and that someday he’ll wear a big jersey just like you, but instead of having number forty-five across the back, it’ll be his own number.”
Liam’s eyes darken and his fist clenches the same way it did earlier. “Don’t ever wear anyone’s jersey again.”
I cock a hip. “First, the fun police and now the fashion police? Who do you think you are? Never mind. Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.” I brush past him and out the door, thankful when I get outside and the cold air dries my eyes.
* * *
The next fewdays are turbulent. Liam isn’t so much cranky as he is sullen. Meanwhile, KJ and I tour childcare facilities. The first one emphasizes exploration and is a hit. He especially enjoys the indoor and outdoor climbing areas.
The second one is a “child-led” center and a bit chaotic. Feathers float in the air, tinny music blasts from a small speaker, and I trip over a cardboard tube that I think contains something alive. I imagine Liam would disapprove, which is why I move that one up on the list. Kidding.
The third smells like damp socks and raw onions. KJ clings to my side.
We return home for lunch to find Liam storming around, claiming that he can’t find a box.
He thunders, “Have you seen it?”
“What kind of box? A hat box? A box of oatmeal?”
“It’s small and velvet.”
Oh. That kind of box.
“It was here and now it’s not.” There is no mistaking the accusation in his eyes.
Jealously rings through me at the idea of someone special in Liam’s life. Someone who gets the nice side of him. Then memories flood back. I was always the outsider.
The first person a foster family turned to if something went missing or was unusual. I never belonged, didn’t have a family team in my corner. No one to defend me, to look out for me. Color rises to my cheeks. My lips part, but words don’t form.
“Have you seen it, Jessica?”
“I’m sorry, no.” Presuming I’m right about the contents of a box like that, I’d never have touched it. This also highlights everything I don’t know about his personal life. I’m just the help.
I shake my head and hurry KJ to his room for a nap. Phantom guilt follows me even though I didn’t do anything wrong. Then again, when it comes to Liam, it’s like I can’t do anything right either.
He doesn’t say another word to me. For five days.
KJ and I visit a few more nursery schools and settle on the first one with him attending two mornings a week until he turns four.
Grandma Dolly and I are sitting in her kitchen with KJ as we all work on a puzzle. I tell her that he’s come so far since we first met. I sign that he’s so much happier and well-adjusted.
She replies, “That’s easy when around you, Sunshine. You spread it everywhere you go.”
I snort. “Tell that to his father.”
“Ignore him.”
It’s hard to. But instead, I simply sign, “The man is a brute.” A handsome one that I’m irrationally attracted to.
My phone rings. It’s Liam. The guy probably sensed I was talking about him and wants to make me as miserable as he is. I answer, feeling like an egg about to crack.
