Page 25 of Inadmissible
“Now that you’ve learned your lessons, your body and intuition will reject anyone that makes you feel unsafe again.”
“You have a lot of faith in me,” she said with a soft voice and smile.
“I do. I got enough for the both of us until you trust yourself again.”
We talked about that a little longer. I told her about my one time cheating and being cheated on, and how I hoped neither happened again. I made it clear to her that she was safe with me and that I’d never cheat on her, but I understood that was something she’d have to believe for herself.
“You said service is your love language?” she asked as she started her Al Green vinyl.
“It is.”
“What do you love as far as the senses? And what’s a way you feel loved that’s not on that small ass list?”
“Hmm . . .” I pulled her onto my lap instead of allowing her to sit next to me. When she snuggled against me, I inhaled her perfume. Tonight, it was sweet and sugary. “Mm,” I moaned, running my nose against her neck. “I know you probably expectme to say my eyes because men are visual but actually scent. Ilovewhen a woman smells good.”
She giggled and squirmed. “I’m too ticklish for that, and I can definitely feel that you’re telling the truth,” she acknowledged, referring to my growing dick.
“I meant it when I said everything about you turns me on. You make me feel like a hormonal teenager again. But if I had to name another love language, it would be food. What’s yours?”
“Words of affirmation, which is why I’ve been single. That made me a target for men to just talk and put no action behind it. Anyway, that and touch. And travel.”
We talked about our favorite foods and places to travel. I locked in that she loved Mexican food. Since she loved tequila, I knew I’d be planning a trip for us to go to Mexico soon. I wanted to tell her she didn’t have to worry about me talking a lot of shit I couldn’t back up, but I’d show her with my actions. Her liking touch also explained why it was so easy for her to give me her body and not her heart, which she confirmed.
“What are your hobbies?” she asked.
“Sports, skating, bowling. I love restaurant and bar hopping. I’ll go to a different city every month just to try new food. You?”
“I’m kind of the same. I love skating, reading, and traveling. I will go to Memphis or Chicago just to eat. There’s this little spot I want to try in Philly, but I didn’t want to go alone because I don’t know anything about the city.”
“I’ll take you. My old best friend lives in Washington, and every time I go visit him, we go to Philly.”
“That would be fun.”
“Here.” I pulled out my phone. “Let’s go ahead and lock in dates and flights. I want you to know you can trust what I say.”
This woman, as armored up as she may be, was actually soft as cotton. I could tell by the way her eyes watered as she melted against me.
“I’m sure there are other women you can pursue that aren’t as fucked up as me,” she muttered, gently playing with my beard. “As hard to get close to and love.”
“I’on want them. I wantyou. You’re going to be so easy to love, Taj. You just gotta let me love you.”
Taj shifted so that she was straddling me. My hands settled comfortably on her curved waist.
“Why do you want to?”
“Love you?” I confirmed. She nodded. “You’ve been mine since you called me mister and made sure you didn’t throw up on me.” Taj laughed as she ran her hands down my chest. “You’re mine, Taj. My rib. I know it sounds crazy, but I felt like I woke up to the first day of the rest of my life when I saw you at the gala. We can go as slow as we need to so you feel safe with me, but I know we’re supposed to be together.”
She did that thing where she cupped my cheek then pulled me to her for a kiss by my jaw. A moan escaped me as it always did before our lips connected.
“I know I’m safe with you in my heart. Your hugs feel like deep breaths. You feel good for my nervous system. I’m always calm and at peace and safe with you. I’m still working on my mind trusting that, but I do want to be with you, angel. I just . . . need to work some things out mentally.”
“You can do that, but I also need you to let me in so I can show you. I want to earn you, honey. You deserve that. You don’t have to go to war with your mind to convince it to trust me. I’m going to make sure every part of you knows that it can.”
My phone vibrated, and we both looked down at my pocket. “That’s Mikayla,” I told her as I pulled my phone out. “I told her to call me when dinner was almost done so I could set something up for you.”
“Okay,” she replied with a smile as she sat next to me.
I made my way downstairs and out to my car to grab what I’d need. I assumed she’d want to eat in the dining room, but I wanted something more intimate and cozier. We were making great progress tonight, and I wanted to keep her close. She was softer and more open when I was able to touch her.
