Page 91 of Olivia's Only Pretending
I sat down in my seat, trying to contain my grin.Focus, I reminded myself.Oh yes, clap for my colleagues as they walk on stage.
Throughout the panel, Victor was like my own pep squad, clapping the loudest after every one of my answers. I felt his support like a physical, tangible thing. My own extra dose of confidence, like I’d taken a shot of whiskey before I walked on stage, warm flooding under my skin.
Except Victor on the front row was better than a shot of whiskey. His eyes were solely on me the whole night, like I was the band at the concert he’d paid to see.
After the panel, I didn’t wait to shake hands with everyone and make small talk backstage like I normally would. Instead, as the lights came back on across the room, I rushed down the stage steps. Victor was already weaving down the aisle toward the exit. I slipped through the small groups of chattering people throughout the aisles, trying to avoid any collisions.
“Victor,” I called out over the murmur of the crowd.
He didn’t hear me, walking through the glass doors. I jogged after him.
I followed him outside in the soft glow of twilight. “Victor!” I shouted.
This time, he stopped in his tracks on the sidewalk.
“Oh, hey,” he said, with a tentative smile. Almost polite. “I thought you’d be busy after, talking with everyone?—”
“No, no.” I shook my head as people brushed by us, exiting the building. “I want to talk to you. I ran out here because I need to talk to you.” I tried to catch my breath, placing my hand on my chest.
“You do want to talk? ’Cause I didn’t show up here to manipulate you or pressure you into talking to me before you were ready. I was torn about whether or not to come.” He put his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. “But I wanted to make sure you felt supported tonight. That’s all, I promise.”
“I did feel supported. It meant a lot to look out in the crowd and see you there.” I tucked a piece of hair that had gotten loose from my ponytail behind my ear. “Did you get my text earlier? I found your note on the bulletin board.”
“I did see the text, right before I left to come here. I didn’t mean that to put any pressure on you; I just wanted to make you smile?—”
“It did make?—”
Victor’s eyes narrowed at something behind me, right as I felt a large hand on my shoulder.
“Olivia,” Ryan said.
I felt my heart sink. “Ryan?” I turned around.The timing of this guy.
“Hey, I think we need to talk,” Ryan said. I wondered if he was about to admit to going to Dean Oates. “I think it’s long overdue.”
I looked toward Victor, frustrated. “We were right in the middle?—”
“It’s okay.” Victor took a step back. “Go ahead.”
Ryan grabbed my hand in his. “We have unfinished business.”
“What does that even mean, Ryan?” I asked while Victor walked away from us, disappearing through the maze of autumnal trees lining the campus.
“It’s been tense between us since I arrived,” he said, his voice low. “I know you’ve felt it. The undeniable pull between us even at that first dinner.”
I felt my jaw drop a little.
“It’s been hard to be on this campus without feeling … as if there’s so much unfinished and unsaid between us. I’ve been trying to stay professional and swallow my feelings, but …” He gripped my shoulders. “I regret how I ended things with you. Back then, I was trying to put my career first and remove anydistractions. Now, as I’m sitting with you on stage, I know you’re so much more than a distraction. We could be a power cou?—”
“Wait, wait.” I held up a hand, stepping backward out of his grip. “You’re seriously trying to tell me you think there’s still something romantic between us? That’s what you want to talk about right now?”
“Yes, I?—”
“You’re not apologizing for telling Dean Oatesthat I was dating a student,” I cut in.
His eyes grew wide.
“Or even apologizing for how you dumped me like I was an inconvenience, without an ounce of empathy or respect, after dating for years.”
