Page 86 of Burn Bright
I slide into the backseat and shut the door behind me. I rest my shoulders against the window. Facing her. A fir tree air freshener dangles off the rearview mirror, giving off a festive pine fragrance to the car. Harriet pulls her headphones to her neck and hugs her pillow to her chest. She scoots back to lean against the opposite door. First, I’m stuck on how bloodshot her blue eyes are. The puffiness of her eyelids makes it hard for her to open them fully.
I just want to take her hurt away. I’m not thinking about how I could be the cause. Because if I descend too deep into that, I might never come out of the abyss.
“I didn’t think you’d be into Hello Kitty,” I say with a peeking smile, but this time, it doesn’t draw hers out.
Her lips pull into a massive frown, and her voice is barely a whisper. “I’m more into a ninety-percent-off clearance sale at Walmart.”
I nod, my ribs compressing as her gaze drops to her legs. She tucks them closer to her body. I’m scrunched up back here, but I don’t invade her space. I skim her car, then see a first-aid kit in the footwell, along with band-aid wrappers, a plastic grocery bag with bloodied paper towels, and the plaid pants she’d been wearing tonight. Her pants—the kneecaps appear stained with blood too.
Right now, the blanket hides her legs, her knees, her waist, but I’m putting some pieces together.Did she get down on her knees for him?
As my throat swells and my eyes feel scrubbed raw, all I care about is her. I hate, with everything in me, that she’s hurt right now. Not just emotionally, but fucking physically…
“Harriet,” I breathe.
“What are you doing here, Ben?” she chokes out. Her confusion is confusing the fuck out of me. I feel as if this should be obvious.
“I’m here to check on you,” I say. “When my friend runs away crying, I’m not going to just go home and bake a frozen pizza like nothing happened.”
She shakes her head, her bangs falling in her eyes. She pushes them away with a quick hand. “I don’t understand,” she says, then her lips part in shock. “He didn’t tell you?” Her nose flares.
My stomach coils in a vicious knot. “Charlie did something. That’s all I know.”
Her frown deepens, but her jaw hasn’t closed. “He told you that?”
“No, I…” My voice trails off as her face shatters. Her fingers curl tighter to the pillow, and I can tell she’s fighting off tears. The realization that I might be wrong slams into me like a thousand gallons of water after a dam break. My throat is sandpaper as I add, “Beckett said he saw you and Charlie in the parlor, and that’s when you ran away crying.” I want to bring up the first-aid kit, the blood, her pants, but her chin begins quivering. “Harriet?”
“You should leave, Ben,” she tells me, her voice surprisingly monotoned compared to the fracture of her face.
I can’t leave things like this. I can’t leave her likethis.It’s all impaling me. “I’m not sure I can. The Hello Kitty clearance blanket looks pretty comfy.”
She chokes out a hoarse noise, her eyes daggered on me. “You can’t be serious right now.” I’m smiling a little, and her lips twitch up just a bit until her face contorts in a near-cry. “Stop, Ben.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure I like you using my name when you’re upset. Go back to Friend,Friend.”
She chucks the pillow at me, her smile battling its way against her sorrow, and I just want it to stay. I just want her to be unscathed, unharmed…happy.
I catch the bed pillow.
Then she crosses her arms and sits up higher against her door, scowling at me.
I prop the pillow against my back. Getting comfortable. She sees and rolls her eyes into a headshake. “You’re going to want to go,” she says, her voice so unsteady. “After tonight, you’re not going to want to be friends with me. So we can say our goodbyes now.” She bows forward, just to hold out a hand for me to shake. “It was nice knowing you, Cobalt boy.”
It feels like she’s closing our last couple weeks together, packing them away, shipping them off into the past to be long forgotten memories. I’m not ready for that…I’m not willing to shut this chapter in this painful way.
I can’t accept it. Not for her. Not for me.
I don’t even look at her hand. I don’t give it my attention. My gaze remains on her eyes in an unwavering beat. “This isn’t how we end, Friend.”
“How can you be so sure?” Her eyes start to well, but her words never lose their bite. “You rubbed a crystal ball? Cobalts can see the future now too?”
“It is because I’m a Cobalt,” I tell her, “but we can’t see the future—we just know how to carve out the ones we want. And you’re in mine for longer than this, Harriet. This isn’t how we end.”
She swipes the heel of her palm beneath her eye before the tear can fall. “I don’t want it to end here.” Her chin trembles violently. “But I fucked up, Friend.” Her whole face twists in the precipice of a guttural sob, and I can’t sit still. Rocking forward,I cup her soft, warm cheeks with two strong hands, her body heaving in a good release at the touch, and she grips onto my forearms.
I can’t decipher whether she’ll shove me or bring me closer, but I whisper, “Let me hold you.”
Her breath hitches, and her reddened eyes fill again. “I tried to make a deal with your brother,” she gets out faster. “You won’t want to hold me after I almost blew him.”
