Page 163 of Burn Bright
“More like it’s making me want to push inside you and watch you come.”
Holy fuck…I’d say that came out of nowhere, but his groan had been a hoarse, turned-on one. My breath staggers, and I can’t formulate words. We haven’t fooled around since the one time at his brothers’ apartment. We haven’t evenkissed, and seeing as how there is a time stamp on his life in New York, I can’t determine whether it’ll ever happen.
The flirting I like, but the actual reality of him slipping inside me, I know I’d love more. Even if it’s probably incredibly stupid to sleep with a guy who’s not sticking around.I don’t care.
I don’t care.
I crunch on the tiny bit of hard candy left in my mouth, breaking the spindling tension in the air.
Thankfully he speaks again. “I think you meantcoldblue heart.”
I shake my head once. “Yours might be blue, but it’s not cold. It never has been.” I don’t look at him. I just slip the hardback on the shelf, still in search of Ovid. Not here. I start picking myself up.
“They want me to sleep with a girl from the Honors House.”
I literally stumble on the ascent to my feet. Ben juts out a hand, clasping my hip to balance me. My eyes are saucers. At first, I’m trapped on the horrifying image of Ben sleeping with another girl.
Them together.
Hot and heavy in bed. His hands skating down her bare skin.
Andshe’s in the Honors House where I want to be? Jealousy towers over me and makes me want to shrink. Until I realize,he’s not accepting the bet.
That pains me in a different, more agonized way. He’s adamant that he can’t stay with his brothers for much longer, and if he has no place to live soon, then…is he going to expedite his trip to the wilderness? Will he pack his bags next week? Three days from now? Tomorrow?
I wish I could offer my apartment, but after I asked Eden, she’s now reminded me multiple times not to let my friends spend the night. She’s paranoid I’m going to have “friendly” sleepovers when I’venevereven pushed that boundary once. I just asked one time. She said no, which I respected but hated.
Sadly, the frat really is the best solution to Ben’s crisis.
He places the protein shake on one of the library shelves, and he explains more about the bet. When he’s done, I consider the possibility ofmeachieving my goal of being accepted in the Honors House. “I could?—”
“No,” Ben forces out.
“Ben, just listen to me for a second, please.” It hurts craning my neck to look up at him, but I still fucking do it because I want my eyes on his and he needs to hear this. “If I get into the Honors House, do you know how easy it’d be to just tell Leif we had sex and give him panties? They don’t even have to be mine, okay. We can buy a new pair, pour some bleach on them, make them look used.”
“What if you don’t get in?”
I go cold. “Then I guess you convince another girl to do that for you. Or you actually sleep with her.” What is wrong with me?! Why am I suggesting this?
He swallows hard, his nose flaring, and he stares around the dark, quiet alcove that feels like ours. I inhale the old dusty book scent, ignoring the boulder in my lungs, and he says, “I’mnotfucking another girl.” His blue eyes narrow down on me. “You’re the only one I’ve even thought about sleeping with for months. You’re all I can think about every morning and every night, and if I even tried to have sex with someone else, I’m fairly certain I’d only be thinking about you, Harriet.”
For months. Every morning. Every night.
He’s been thinking about me.
Me.
It balls up in my esophagus. I’m too overwhelmed to speak.
He’s breathing harder like we’re already under the sheets together, like he’s already wrapping me up in his strong, unwavering arms. Ben licks his lips, then says deeply, “I believe in you. I know you’ll get into the Honors House because they’d be so fucking dumb not to accept you. And they’re supposed to be the smartest people on campus, right?”
I shrug. “In theory, I guess.”
“But I can’t let you go to the Kappa president and tell him we slept together.”
“Even if I lie?”
“You’re not lying for me.” Ben isveryadamant, his hand leveled like this is a hardno. A thousand-foot wall he will not hurdle or let me even touch. “The risk of getting caught in a lie is one I’m not going to take. The consequences of that could be fuckingcatastrophicfor you. Kappa could retaliate. I don’t trust what they’d do. So if I take the bet, I need tohonestlycomplete it.”
