Page 113 of Burn Bright
“The sex? Yeah,” he smiles. “But honestly, I never really had a meaningful connection with anyone I’ve slept with. I don’t think I let anyone get to know me enough to feel that.” He holds his bent knee. “It was very surface level. Tip of the iceberg.”
Feeling way more forward, I ask him, “What do you call this?” I motion between us.
“Not that,” he murmurs, as though what we share is a fragile thing he’s cradling. “We’re below the iceberg. In the water.”
“The hypothermic water?”
His smile rises. “I’ll keep you warm, Fisher.”
I bite my lip, feeling the start of my smile. “I think I’ll let you, Friend.”
His gaze clasps mine so tightly. “I’ve never been this open with someone who’s not family.”
It stirs so much emotion inside me, but I plow through it to ask, “Are you scared of the thirteenth girl? The thirteenth lay? It being the unluckiest number and all.”
Ben laughs. “Yeah, I don’t believe in that. Now, Tom, might freak out if he ever hits thirteen.”
“You don’t think he already has?”
“No.” His brows scrunch. “Tom doesn’t really sleep around. He used to talk about this one Russian-American guy he’d hook up with consistently. I think his name was like RJ or something, but I’m not even sure they’re a thing anymore. He hasn’t really brought anyone home that I’ve seen.” He knocks his knee into mine. “You scared of the thirteenth guy?”
I shake my head. “I’d be freaked out all the time if I was scared of the number thirteen.” I explain, “I was born on the thirteenth.Octoberthirteenth, so I guess you’ll be here for my birthday, Cobalt boy.”
His smile grows. It almost beckons mine to surface again. “Looks like thirteen is lucky for us then.”
I knock my knee back into his. “Don’t jinx it.”
“But I thought you weren’tsuperstitious,” he teases.
“Not unless you give me a reason to be.”
“Fair.” His eyes skim me in a slow-burning caress. “How was your first time? Did you like it?”
“Physically, it hurt,” I say into a shrug. “A senior I had a crush on invited me over to his house, and we hooked up on the floor in his basement because he was nervous about getting cum on the couch. He let me spend the night afterward, and I slept on the comfiest La-Z-Boy chair, so I thought he was sweet.” I adjust my back on the pillows, and my foot slides against Ben’s calf. He leans closer to me while we talk, and the air thickens for a hot second. “What about your first time?”
“It was typical. I was fifteen, and we went back to her place after Homecoming. Her parents were out of town, and we had sex in her bedroom.Onher bed.” He flashes me a smile that heats my core, and my lips threaten to match his. “I wasn’t invited to spend the night though. She was nervous about her parents coming home early and finding me in her room.”
“Did you date?” I wonder.
“Short stint, just casually in high school for four months. She broke up with me when I refused to bring her to a Wednesday Night Dinner.”
He’s told me about those. Though, I’d heard of them before. I mean, it’s a proper noun with its own Wiki page.Wednesday Night Dinner.All caps.
They’re the most exclusive and elusive nights that his family spends together, and it’s one of the greatest Cobalt Empire mysteries. Ben explained how he can’t even describe them to me. To elaborate on what happens during those nights is the ultimate familial betrayal. I would never assume I’d be allowed to attend, not even if we were dating.
“What happened to La-Z-Boy?” he asks me. “You two become a couple?”
I lean more of my weight into Ben, his arm already around me. “Well, not really. He ignored me in school.”
Ben’s eyes darken. “Asshole.”
My heart flutters at his protectiveness. But I quickly say, “No, it wasn’t like that. I preferred that he ignored me. That way, I was able to concentrate on my schoolwork. He never badmouthed me or spread rumors to his friends. He just…invited me over occasionally to have sex and let me sleep in his basement. It was nice, actually. I was sixteen, so…I didn’t have anywhere else to spend the night. Other than my car.” I shrug tensely, but his arm is more secure around me. He’s holding me closer.
It feels better than he realizes.
Ben lets out a deep exhale. Concern has ensnared his face. I can tell what he’s thinking. I know I’ve skirted this topic so many times, and I know he’s patiently waited for more details. So I’m not surprised when he says, “If we’re doing this hard-hitting thing, then I’m going to ask some personal questions, Fisher.”
“I know.”
