Page 268 of Burn Bright
“I am,” I smile at her. “Let’s take some selfies for your scrapbook.”
That cheers her up. Eliot also stays behind to take more photos for Audrey, and we squeeze together on the couch. When she’s ready to head to the dining room, she hugs me extra tight, which does make me think she’s not all okay, but I know I’ll be here for her when she needs me.
I tell her that.
“And I’ll always be here for you too,” she nods.
I nod back, seeing maybe I’m not the person she will be vulnerable with if she’s too concerned about my well-being. But I can’t wear false armor. I am what I am. Sometimes, I’m fragileenough to hurt easily. Sometimes, I’m strong enough to bear it. Sometimes, I’m just mad. And I burn and burn and burn.
When it’s just me and Eliot left in the library, side by side on the sofa, I tell him, “I asked Harriet to move in with us this afternoon.”
At the end of our date, we agreed if she doesn’t get into the Honors House, it’s the best plan B. I’d love to live with her, but I hate it’s at the cost of her losing a great opportunity. Mixed emotions are real.
Eliot grins. “So you’re staying for good?”
“I’m staying for good,” I nod to him.
“Not on the pull-out, brother. You and Harriet can have my room.”
I grimace at the idea of displacing him. Maybe I can learn to live with shaking up his world, what I feared when I first moved in, but I still don’t love taking too much. “I could—” I cut myself off before I offer sharing a room with him or Tom, which I would prefer, but I can’t do that to Harriet. If she does move in, then she deserves her own bedroom—at least one only shared with me.“Any chance of knocking out a wall?” I smile, knowing it’s a longshot.
“For you, I would’ve knocked them all down already if I could.”
“I believe it.” I gaze up at the never-ending rows of books. “I want to leave all this torment behind, all the terrible things that’s etched fear into me, but it seems so…sohard.” I lock eyes with my most unburdened brother. “‘What’s past is prologue.’” He knows this is fromThe Tempest.
“Only if you let it be.” Eliot squeezes my shoulder. “And if we’re living in a Shakespearean tale, your story won’t be the tragedy, little brother. We won’t let it go dark.”
The potent sentiment carries me into the dining room. I take my seat near the seitan. Dad comes to my end of the table again, but this time, I’m not on edge.
“Opening remarks have commenced,” Mom says as she lowers in her chair.
I’m about to reach for my goblet, preparing for Eliot to bang a foot against the table. Then I solidify—because Beckett moves first. This…never happens. He stacks his bowl onto his dishes, shifts the silverware aside, and then with so much grace, he steps onto his chair. Then the table.
Beckett is standing on the table. Air knocks out of my lungs as his commanding eyes drop to mine, a smile inside them. “Ensemble.”
Together.
Audrey is quick to hop up on the table next. Her gaze falls keenly to me. “Ensemble.”
I scoot back as emotion barrels into my chest. This isn’t just the rallying cry of my family. This is a word spoken to me when I was a little kid. When I packed my bag to run away from home because I felt like I didn’t belong. They each, one by one, stood on the table and reminded me I always did.
Now we’re grown.
And I watch as Eliot climbs onto the surface, clattering the dishware and tipping over goblets. Towering as a grin glitters his eyes. “Ensemble.”
Then Tom flicks a lighter closed as he rises beside Eliot. He looks only at me. Nods to me. “Ensemble.”
Jane lifts her tulle skirt as she goes from chair to table. Spinning to stare down my end. To face me as her lips lift and her breezy voice fills my ears. “Ensemble.”
Charlie is the last of my siblings seated. Just like when we were kids, he’s the last to stand.
He snuffs a cigarette on his plate, then puts one foot on the chair, one on the table. Because he turns back around. And extends a hand to me. “Ensemble.”Together.
My eyes sting, and there is no question, no hesitation, no reluctance inside me. I grab my oldest brother’s hand—the brother I might always disagree with but will always love—and I rise with him.
“Toujours,” I promise.Always.My smile ignites my whole soul on fire. “Ensemble.”
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