Page 79 of Sinful Like Us
I’m a leech.
But is it so bad to leech another man’s confidence?
Yes.
No, because possibly he leeches a great deal from me too.
Does he?
What if he leeches nothing, Jane?
I don’t know anymore.I’ve never questioned my confidence so deeply, and these insecurities weigh a fifty-ton pressure on my chest that I don’t need today.
Think of Beckett.
Think of your brother.
Think of your goal.
I drop my hands off Thatcher, and I find strength to move. Whether it’s the right kind of strength, I’m not certain. I’m so confused, but I step out of his hold anyway.
His arm tears off my collarbones.
It hurts.
I can feel the air slice painfully, and I struggle to even look him in the eyes. I glance over at my best friend, and Maximoff shakes his head with a wince. Feeling my unease, possibly.
Farrow is eyeing Thatcher, then me. I think he sees a strain that my leech-insecurities just created.
“Jane?” Thatcher says.
I clear a pained knot in my throat. “I hate that we’re forcing my brother to join us.” I adjust the strap of my fuzzy mint-green purse, the unusual contents inside weighing on me. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this.” But none of us could formulate a better solution.
Silence thickens, the floor-numbers still increasing.
I finally look up at Thatcher.
He rubs his mouth, brows knitted. “Do you not want us to be here?”
“No,” I say quickly. “Not at all.”
“Do you not wantmeto be here then?”
“No,” I emphasize, my stomach lurching. “You have no idea how much…” I exhale, my pulse hiking to devastating speeds. “…how many times it’s dawned on me and overwhelmed me—that Moffy and I have fallen for two men who fight to help us protect who we love.” My eyes burn. “Not just half-heartedly or out of loyalty to us, but because you deeply love our siblings and cousins. And if we weren’t here, you’d still fight for them asdeeplyas we would, and that is priceless to me.”
I love him.
Say it, Jane.
His eyes cradle mine, offering comfort from afar. His chest rises in deeper breath.
I open my mouth. “I—”
Ding.
The elevator doors slide open. We’ve arrived.
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