Page 74 of Antiletum
Not to mention the taunting lemming for my owl to hunt. I’m certain that woman is behind the lemming and the letter currently clutched in my hand. It seems Parliament is finally heeding her suspicions and doesn’t mind martyring me after all.
Mallin’s jaw clenches. “They’re giving you a death sentence.”
“We always knew this was coming. There was no way I was going to keep going unnoticed, not be questioned. Not after the first Heartstone.”
“I had thought you would have a year, maybe two, after becoming Lord.”
No one living expected theNoctuaHeartstone to be raised at my wedding, seeing as how no one other than myself knew about Delaney’s magic leading up to. Not even the zealot priestesses who bled themselves dry at the ceremony. But I knew going in that we were running out of time and something had to be done.
I only informed Mallin, Alaric, and Blair after the fact that raising the first Heartstone that night had been my intention all along, that I had known Delaney was a necromancer for ten years. As did my father and brother.
Another source of frustration added to my transgression in murdering Rainah. Everyone is keeping too many secrets.
“What about Delaney? Did Parliament mention her?” Selise asks.
I nod once, neck tight. “She is to remain here. Only one of us has to die to stop the might of our necromancy. And I’m the great betrayer.”
But she won’t be left behind, alone and under Parliament’s watchful eye. They’re mistaken if they think they’ll turn Delaney from asymbol of hope into a lesson to the court and people to stay in line. Over my dead fucking body will I leave her behind ever again.
“Are you going to go?” Selise’s tone is fearful.
“I’m going toVulpes. But not to talk aboutantiletum. And Delaney isn’t staying here.”
Mallin paces through the parlor. Goes to a wet bar and pours himself a glass of clear spirits. “We’re not ready.” He tosses back his drink.
“All the same,” I say calmly. “We couldn’t keep the ruse up forever.”
We’re not ready.
Did I not essentially say those same words to my late father just hours ago? Voicing my fears that I’ve long shared with him, even while he lived? That I’ve never felt I’m up to the task? Holding the future of the world not only on my shoulders, but placing it on the back of my wife’s as well. Because I am selfish.
So much was kept from me, for so long. But now it’s too late to go back. I don’t like it. Not one bit.
“All Heartstones were supposed to have been located before the first was ever raised,” Mallin says, bringing me back into the now and easing the cinch around my heart.
“I had to improvise when things began to unravel.”
“I know. I’m just ruminating. Or panicking.” He laughs. Selise comes to his side, stroking a loving hand across his back.
My eyes turn downcast, sucking my lip between my teeth as I shake my head. Playing through different courses of action I may have taken.
Mallin, ever insightful, senses my insecurities. “You’ve done the right thing. You were put in this position, Val, because Llewellyn and Heath had faith in your abilities. Your methods are questionable to some of us at times. But that was part of the draw for havingyoulead. Your father understood you. You’re willing to do whatever it takes toachieve your desired outcomes,” Mallin says. He adds firmly, “Not to mention your loyalty is commendable. A positive trait.”
He sees right through my calm demeanor, right into this core of self-doubt. He knows me too well. That fucker.
“Yes. I suppose so. Though it isn’t ideal we have now lost all this time, and the full element of surprise. But considering the precariousness of what we intend to do, things could be going significantly worse,” I point out, trying to calm myself as much as my friends.
“Are you leaving immediately?” Mallin stops his pacing, leans against a wall.
“No. Best to make sure things are in order first. Not be too hasty and potentially reveal that I have something else in mind.” Sighing, I begin, “Rainah saw—”
“Rainah saw,” Mallin cuts me off, “herself alive in all of her predictions. The future isn’t concrete.”
“But you still don’t know the location of thePantheraHeartstone, right?” Selise twiddles her skirt in her hand.
“That’s right,” Mallin confirms.
“It doesn’t matter. I fear if we keep waiting, we will miss our chance,” I say. Everything that was set in motion years ago is now rolling down a hill with a momentum that can’t be stopped.
