Page 75 of Antiletum
At this moment, a croaking groan sounds from above the mantle. The small Ellden clock poised there rolls a hand backwards. Mallin and I both groan.
“Fuck me,” I breathe out, wondering if Delaney is again necromancing without me. Though I don’t see why she would, having just released her pent up magic in a spectacular display.
Anxiously, the three of us watch the clock to see how rapidly it will wind back. It was restored quickly after Delaney succeeded in speaking to Rainah (thanks to Alaric’s post at Greystone with an offering ofprisoners) as well as one other time between then and now, when an unknown person stretched the confines of balance.
But before that, theNoctuaHeartstone struggled far too much for my liking when I upended balance and went too long without feeding it. I am only able to manage a breath when thevinculumhand shifts forward, the tension staining the ether lessening.
Mallin and Selise bring their attention back to me.
“What are we going to do about finding thePanetheraHeartstone?” Mallin asks with more urgency and seriousness.
Heaving a sigh, I tell them the exact same thing I keep telling Delaney. “We’re going to bring Rainah back. Before Delaney and I go toVulpestogether.”
Selise swallows hard. “How are you so sure it will work?”
“It will.”
“But your necromancy hasneverworked like that. Only long enough for interrogations.”
The thump of theNoctuaHeartstone answering the call to magic at my wedding washes through me; the blooming of life in the graveyard with my wife tonight. Strong and vital and unlike anything the world has ever seen before. The only difference in the two instances of intense magic were Delaney letting our magic settle with the Heartstone and consciously breaking the tie of magic to the world tonight.
Not to mention the way I downplayed my own depths of power long before my wedding.
But no one needs to know that. Not yet.
Mallin chimes in confidently. “Other than theNoctuaHeartstone. Yourvinculumbind to the Ellden clocks has worked against Parliament this time, amplified in your marriage. Is Delaney going to go?”
“She will. She said she wanted to raise the rest.”
Mallin laughs. “So she can leave you. Maybe you were right at the manor. She might hate you.”
“She’s not going to leave me,” I say, denying the jab.
Selise tuts, shaking her head and muttering under her breath as she exits the room. Remembering that she’s angry with me.
After I can hear Selise shuffling around in another room, I turn back to Mallin. “I think we’re almost there.”
He understands my vague meaning. “What makes you say that?”
“I showed her my owl tonight. After she was openly affectionate and told me she loved me.” That kiss. The intensity of it. The way Delaney moaned and asked me for more, so wet through her dress I could feel it on my skin.
“Let me guess, she gave you the sentiment before she knew it was you?”
I grimace.
Mallin rubs a hand over his eyes. “Val, if you just told her, she might forgive you. You should have told her the night of your wedding. I stand firm that all of this was avoidable.”
My throat goes tight. “I can’t.”
Mallin lets out a long, loud breath, his exhaustion mirroring mine. “You can. You just don’t want to. Because you’re afraid.” He is accusing me of the exact same thing I did of Delaney. And he’s right. I’m terrified that if she accepted the truth, it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t be enough.
I never would have been enough.
20
You should have told me you’re fond of croquet
Delaney
