A shocked maid passes me in the hall, glancing with confusion at my bare torso; my mussed, wild hair; my tired, sleepless eyes; the linens I hide myself with.
“My Lord,” she says, surprised. “I didn’t know you would be accompanying our Lady!” She sounds horrified at the prospect of being unprepared. “I’ll have your chambers emptied and prepared at once.”
Her shock morphs into a more pleasant, sly thing. Knowing.
She’s essentially driving a knife through my ribs, her subtle smile giving away that she believes my current state of undress and unkemptness is due to being tucked away in bed with my wife, lost to the throes of newlywed passion.
“Don’t bother,” I say flatly, not slowing. Not even looking at her. “Delaney isn’t here yet. And I’ll be gone before she arrives.”
I leave her confused in the hall.
Alaric blocks my path when I round a corner for the hall of my chambers. He steps back quickly, not expecting a soul to be haunting this wing while he occupies it, back at the manor again after transporting another load of offerings. “Val! Shit! What are you doing here?”
Void of his typical attire made specifically to minimize potential contact with his deadly skin, Alaric steps away to give me a wide berth. Can’t even find it within myself to care that I was barely saved from a nice bout of cancer. Maybe it would be less painful than this slow, agonizing death I’m experiencing now.
Alaric’s eyes narrow. “Deos,are you alright? You look terrible.”
Breezing right past him, I reply numbly, “I can imagine I do.”
“I was informed that your wife was coming. And coming alone.” Sounds more like a question than a statement. “Still not going well then, friend?”
He follows me into the Lord’s chamber that he’s been occupying during his esteemed tenure to oversee the feeding of the Heartstone.
Not answering, an inconvenient little vice clamps tighter around my ribs.Abysmalwould be a more fitting description.
“Val, if you just told—”
“She knows,” I say, cutting him off. I pause in the middle of the room, my back to Alaric. Jaw grinding. I don’t even sound like myself. Dead. Emotionless.
Fitting.
I was never alive or feeling without her. For as long as I could remember after my mother abandoned me. Delaney pulled those emotions straight out of my soul and I couldn’t quiet them in her absence, even when I wanted to. The only way my heart continued beating during our years apart was from the hope that we’d be together again. And now? Now there’s nothing left.
My friend’s silence is weighted, reading my demeanor. “Ah, Val.”
Alaric’s pitying tone has me turning towards him, irrationally angry.
“Don’t,” I whisper with a sneer. “Just—just don’t.”
If he tries to show sympathy or comfort me right now, I think I might fully come undone. Worse than the night he and Mallin took me to get the owl tattoo on my back. Young, drunk, and lost to the morbs. That night aside, Alaric is generally not the affectionate, fuzzy type. Not like Mallin. Probably due to the whole issue of not being able to enjoy physical touch unless he’s willing to see the subject of said comforts die.
It’s important to have range within your friends. And right now, I need Alaric to stay firmly in his designated box.
He sighs, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. “I’m sure at this point she won’t be surprised you’re already here when she arrives.”
“I’m only stopping off for clothes before going toVulpes.”
Alaric quirks a brow. “For?”
“To confirm the Heartstone location and existence myself before dragging Delaney on a mission to save it. Check in with Xavien and make sure he’s prepared.”
He laughs. “Glad to know you’re over your tantrum saying you won’t raise the Heartstones after your fight. Though I don’t think anyone actually bought into your dramatics.”
Clearing my throat, I still sound hoarse with exhaustion when I tell him, “Parliament is ready to dispose of me. I’ll fly toVulpesand back before suspicions are too high about me being gone. We’ll raise Rainah. Find thePantherastone. And then Delaney can be free of me.”
He drops his humor. “Be free of you?”
“That’s what she wants.”