Page 20 of The Hang Up
“I’m sorry,” I breathe, stepping closer. “God, Lena, I’m so sorry. I was stupid and selfish, and I know I hurt you. I was trying to do what I thought was right, but it was so wrong. Everything I did, the way I handled things, was all wrong.”
She wraps her arms tightly around herself, shivering in the cool night air, eyes wide and vulnerable. “You should’ve talked to me. You should’ve trusted me enough to stay.”
“I know,” I murmur brokenly. “Believe me, I wish I could go back. I wish I could redo everything. I’d tell you everything I was feeling, everything I was afraid of. But back then… I didn’t think I had a choice.”
“Why?” Her voice is almost pleading. “Why did you leave? What was so important that you felt you couldn’t even talk to me about it?”
I sigh heavily, the weight of the truth pressing down on me. “It wasn’t just me. I went to your mom. I wanted her blessing. I wanted to ask you to marry me.”
Her eyes widen in shock, fresh tears welling up as she processes my words. “What?”
“She told me no,” I say quietly, reliving the memory and feeling the sting of rejection all over again. “She said I wasn’t good enough for you, Lena. That I had nothing to offer, and you deserved someone who could give you a better life. And… I believed her.”
Her hand comes up to cover her mouth, horror and disbelief mingling on her beautiful face. “My mom said that?”
“Yeah,” I whisper, my eyes burning with unshed tears. “I thought she was right. I thought maybe deep down you felt the same way, that I wasn’t enough for you. I let my pride and my ego cloud my judgment, and I made the biggest mistake of my life. It wasn’t until I was already at boot camp that I realized how wrong I was. By then, it was too late. But I swore I’d return and find a way to win you back.”
Lena shakes her head, tears spilling freely down her cheeks. “You should’ve told me. I would’ve reassured you that none of it mattered. I loved you. I never cared about money or security or any of that. I just wanted you.”
Her words pierce through me, bitter and sweet all at once. “I know. I see that now, and I regret leaving every single day of my life. I wanted to come back right away, but by then, I’d already enlisted, so I couldn’t. I thought of you every day, Lena. I plotted and planned our reunion. None of it went according to my plan,” I admit with a short laugh. “I’ve lived with the ache of losing you for years, Lena. Nothing has ever filled that emptiness.”
A long silence stretches between us, thick with everything we’ve left unsaid for far too long. Her breathing is shaky, her eyes wide and searching mine.
“What now?” she finally whispers.
I step closer, needing to close the distance between us. “You tell me. What do you want, Lena?”
She hesitates, her gaze steady but cautious. “What do you want?”
“You,” I answer fiercely without hesitation. “It’s always been you. Nothing else matters. Nothing else ever will. I only want you.”
Her expression softens. Before I can take another breath, she closes the distance between us and cups my face as she kisses me. Her lips are soft, warm, and achingly familiar. I wrap my arms around her instinctively, pulling her close as relief floods my entire being. It feels like coming home. For the first time in years, everything finally feels right.
When she pulls back, breathless, her eyes shimmer with fresh tears. “Walk me home?”
“Always,” I promise softly, taking her hand and linking our fingers.
We walk slowly, savoring the moment, the simple act of being together. When we reach her door, I pause, turning to face her fully.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” I ask, unable to hide the hopeful edge in my voice.
She smiles softly, nodding. “Lunch?”
“Lunch,” I confirm, my heart soaring.
She squeezes my hand gently before slipping inside.
I stand there long after the door closes, feeling lighter than I have in years. Tomorrow feels brighter, filled with the promise of finally making things right.
ELEVEN
Lena
I lie awake, staring up at my ceiling, replaying the kiss with Holden over and over. My heart races every time I think about it, my stomach fluttering with nerves and anticipation. Everything he said echoes in my mind, pulling me deeper into memories and feelings I thought I'd buried long ago.
The truth he shared about my mom is like a knife twisting deep in my chest. My mother, the woman I've sacrificed everything for, was the one who pushed him away. The knowledge hurts more than I can express.
Unable to lie still any longer, I toss the blankets aside and pad quietly to the kitchen. My mom is already there, sitting at the table with a cup of tea and her usual crossword puzzle spread before her. The familiarity of the scene does nothing to ease the tension simmering within me.
