Page 22 of Loving Roman
As the afternoon draws to a close, there’s no reason for Alice to stay, and I haven’t had another opportunity to speak with her alone. I fear this is it. She’s going to be out of my life until she needs to return in a professional capacity. Now that I know where she works, I can always track her down if it comes to that, but I sense she’ll want to keep our relationship professional. The desperation building inside me to keep her here is growing by the second, and I’m worried I’m going to lose all rational thought.
Marcus leaves, claiming he needs to get home to take his wife, Celia, out for a romantic dinner or he’ll end up in the doghouse. In his rush to get moving, he leaves the two of us in the driveway, standing awkwardly by her small sedan.
“I’d better get going.” She looks down into her purse, digging around, before pulling out her car keys as though she’s found a hidden treasure.
“When can I see you again? I don’t get a lot of time off, mainly during the day while the kids are at school.” Then I remember she works during the day, and my heart thuds to a stop at the irony of having her so close, yet so far. “Maybe I can meet you for lunch, or something?” I’m reaching for anychance to see her again. I don’t want to let this go if I can help it.
She looks down at her feet for long moments, her shoes taking all of her attention. I mean, they’re great shoes, but I want her to look at me, so I step into her. Using my finger, I gently raise her face to mine, studying her closely. My eyes trace her features hungrily, refreshing my memory even though I’d memorized every curve, line, and freckle. “I … I can’t.”
I drop my hand and step back from her, every fiber of my being fighting to stay close, but the gentleman in me wants to do the right thing and give her the space she seems to require. I run my hands through my hair and then tuck them in my pockets to reduce the temptation to touch her. I swallow hard and look down the street, away from her. My stomach splatters on the ground beneath my shoes, and my shoulders slump forward in defeat.
She steps forward and rests her hand on my abs, sending shock waves through my system. “Roman.” She moves her head to catch my eye, and I can’t resist looking at her. Muddy brown eyes to cornflower blue; the crinkles around the corners so familiar to me after only a few days. “If circumstances were different, I would definitely want to pick up where we left off.” She looks down at her hand resting on my stomach and clenches her fist, collecting my shirt. “I can’t risk my job. Moving to a new city means I need the stability this job offers. I have no one I can call on for help if things don’t work out. Please understand.” She tightens her grip on my shirt, imploring me with her beautiful eyes.
Me. You can call on me leaps to the tip of my tongue.
I understand she’s scared. She doesn’t know me, the man I am on a daily basis. “You can call on me. Any time. I realize you don’t know me all that well in a lot of ways, but you can always call on me, Alice. I want you to know that.” She drops her forehead to my chest for several moments before lookingup at me. I shove my hands deeper into my pockets. With her this close, I want to wrap my arms around her and pull her flush against my body—feel the softness of her curves against me—with a desperation I’ve not felt before.
She studies my face, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips. “I know, Roman. We may not have spent much time together, but Idoknow the man you are at heart. I would never have let you do the things you did to me if I thought … if I had any doubts about who you are.” She looks at the house and then back at me. “And … watching you with the kids this afternoon.” She pats my chest over my heart. “I know you have the kindest heart.”
“Then what’s the problem? I don’t understand why you think it’d be an issue to date me.” I’m genuinely perplexed. I think we’d work well together. Our chemistry was crazy good, and on an intellectual level, we matched in almost every way. I know our values are almost identical, just by the work we both do. I mean, what are the chances of us both working in the same field?
“I’m the new kid on the block. I need to get my bearings and work out what’s acceptable and what’s not.” She kisses the center of my chest. “This job’s important to me.” Her actions and words contradict each other. She’s touching me like a lover does while she pushes me away with her words.
I get she doesn’t want to risk her job for something that we both treated as a vacation fling. I get she wants time and space to settle in. But I want to pursue the closeness we had—stillhave. “I would never do anything to jeopardize your position. I hope you know that.”
“Of course I do. I just need a little time. Time to find my feet.” Her eyes twinkle in the twilight, and I’m finding it impossible to refuse her request.
“How much time?” I slip my hands out of my pockets andrest them on her rounded hips. I manage, just barely, not to pull her flush against me.
“A few weeks … five, maybe?”
Five weeks!
Now that I know we’re in the same city, I don’t know if I can go that long without seeing her. When I came back from vacation, she barely left my thoughts, and I didn’t know where she was. Knowing she’s so close and yet I still can’t touch her may do me in.
I run my hands through my hair. “How about three weeks?” I negotiate with my heart on the line. Resting my hands on my hips, I pace. “Please.” I stop and look at her. She has her bottom lip tucked behind her teeth as she worries one of the buttons on her shirt with her delicate fingers.
“How about four weeks?” She offers in return.
Studying her, I huff out a breath. “Okay. But only if we exchange phone numbers.” I want to at least be able to contact her, check in with her. “As you said, you don’t have anyone here. You should have my number. Just in case.” The smile that spreads across her face is breathtaking as her body relaxes.
“Just in case, huh?” She pokes my side with her finger, and I grasp her hand, pulling her into me.
“Yeah, just in case.” I kiss her forehead, and she sinks into my body, wrapping her arms around me. It’s as if her body wants to give in even though her mind is pulling her away.
Doors slam inside, and shouting rings out. I realize we’ve been outside for quite a while. “C’mon, give me your phone. I need to get back inside to the kids and sort out whatever’s going on.”
She chuckles. “You know, when I first met you, I wondered if you had any kids. But then you explained how busy your life was and that your job took up the majority of your time. I figured you didn’t have any kids, and while that may be true, you do, in fact,have six kids that you care for. I can see why you drink your coffee black—you’re too busy looking after everyone else.” She presses up onto her tiptoes to land a kiss on my lips. “I love that you want to put them first.” She rummages around in the giant sack she calls a purse and pulls out her phone. Unlocking it, she hands it to me. I key in my digits and then send a message to my phone.
With one last chaste kiss and an agreement to catch up with each other in one month, I close her in her sedan and watch her drive away from me for the second time in as many weeks. Hoping it’s not the last time I see her.
It’s going to be a long four weeks.
14
–alice–
Two weeks later,and I’m back on Roman’s doorstep. Apparently, Jack—one of the quietest boys I’ve ever met—received a two-day suspension from school for punching a kid and knocking him out; which means I have to check in and report back to my boss. I truly hope there’s been some sort of misunderstanding because something like this can look bad for Roman, Jack, andThe Parkerville Project.
