Page 23 of Loving Roman
I’m not sure of the reception I’ll receive from Roman after my first visit here. When he opened the door that day, the shock of seeing him again almost had my heart beating its way out of my chest. I had to do a double take to make sure it was really him.
Roman.
The first man to make it past my walls since my late husband.
Meeting him while on my first vacation alone in twenty-eight years was so unexpected and so wonderfully exhilarating at the same time. He made me feel like a woman, as though I was important to someone, even if it was only for a few days.
I was beginning to think I was invisible to the opposite sex.Women in their forties typically don’t attract the eye of men of the same age because they’re busy admiring younger women. It probably doesn’t help that I stopped coloring my hair, exposing the significant white patch across the front. I also suspect the extra pounds that seem to creep on without permission don’t work in my favor. In the few days I spent with him, I not only felt seen, but desired. Beautiful even.
I had no idea how to cope with his need to pick up where we left off. I figured our bond was strong because it was a vacation fling, and as much as I loved his attention, I didn’t allow myself the opportunity to think about it going any further, even though I agreed to meet again in one year. For once, I focused on myself. I let go and gave myself over to the moment, taking a step away from the professional social worker who lives for her clients and always puts others first. I figured, what the heck, he doesn’t know the real me; the boring, routine me. I can act a little wild, let loose—it’s not like I’d ever see him again.
The woman he wants to continue a relationship with …isn’t me. The woman I really am is so far removed from who I was while on vacation—he’s sure to be disappointed. I used work as an excuse to push him away, and I still don’t understand why I did that because I should have outright told him that nothing would happen; he deserves someone more exciting. Deep down though, I want him to still want me.
I shore up my walls and ready myself to come face-to-face with a man I know intimately, yet hadn’t considered having a long-term relationship with until seeing him two weeks ago in his element. It was so sexy watching him with the kids. The way he cares for them and nurtures their spirit. It’s such a rare combination to find a man who’s so caring, yet confident and in charge.
I blow out a long breath, push my shoulders back, and knock on the door. It opens quickly, and if I remembercorrectly, Sammy stands in the doorway. Before I can say hello, Roman comes barreling toward the front door.
“Sammy, I told you—” He stops abruptly, wiping his hands on a cloth, when he sees me. “Hey.” His voice has deepened, and the timbre sends a shiver down my spine.
“Hi, Roman. Hi, Sammy.” I wave the fingers of my free hand. Roman looks absolutely delicious in worn jeans, bare feet, and a basic T-shirt, which stretches across his broad chest, while the sleeves work overtime to contain his biceps. My heart races, and I hope I don’t get too dizzy and pass out at his feet.Thatwould be mortifying and completely unprofessional.
Sammy shares a ghost of a smile and waves shyly. “Hi, Alice.”
Roman gently places his hand on her shoulder. “Hey, Sammy. Remember, I asked you guys to always let me answer the door. That’s my job. It’s how I keep you all safe.” There’s no scolding in his tone, but Sammy’s body stiffens and her eyes drop to the floor as though he’s shouted at her. The reaction is interesting and has me wondering exactly what she’s been through. I’ve read her file, but more often than not, the child’s experience is never fully reported and documented because they’re unable to verbalize everything in detail.
“Sorry, Roman,” she whispers as tears track down her little cheeks.
“It’s okay, Sammy. I know you’ll remember next time. Why don’t you go and have your snack and get started on your homework. I’ll be there in a minute.”
She nods and steps away from us without another word. My heart cracks for the little girl who’s lost so much of her childhood innocence. We both watch her until she disappears into the kitchen, out of view. Roman steps outside, closing the door behind him quietly.
He drapes the cloth over his shoulder and tucks his handsinto his pockets as he looks at me. “Hey.” His eyes track every inch of my face. “How’ve you been?”
“Good, busy. Settling in, you know?” I shift from foot to foot, uncomfortable beneath his scrutiny.
He nods thoughtfully, then his body tenses, and I’m not used to seeing him like this. “I’m guessing you’re here about Jack.”
I nod somberly. This was one of the reasons I asked Roman to give me some time. Having to investigate what happened with one of his kids is a conflict of interest. If my boss discovers that Roman and I have intimate knowledge of each other, I’ll be taken off this case quicker than I can blink, and I don’t want my personal life interfering with my professional one. “Do you want to tell me what happened before I speak with Jack about it?”
“Sure.” He runs his hand through his hair; I’m not sure I like the shorter length because I loved holding onto the longer strands when we were together. He has no reason to push his hair out of his face now, so I’m assuming it’s more a habit than anything else. “A couple of boys at school were hanging around under the stairs, taking photos of the girls from below when they were walking up or down. You can imagine the explicit nature of the photographs.”
I nod. I’m not as shocked as I should be at this activity. Kids do stupid, inappropriate stuff all the time.
“He discovered they were selling some of the more ‘revealing’ shots online. Some of which included our girls here.”
I think I’m getting a picture of what transpired.
“Jack took it upon himself to dole out justice on the girls’ behalf and was suspended for his trouble.”
Good on Jack is my first thought. “And what is the school doing with the boys involved in violating the girls’ privacy in such a manner?”
“The school isn’t obliged to tell us. Confidentiality and allthat.” Creases form between his eyebrows, and his lips press together in a firm line. “Rumor among the kids is that the boys were also suspended, but for a longer period. Not sure if it’s true or not.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Look.” He implores, his voice shaky. “I know what Jack did was wrong, and we’ve spoken at length about more appropriate ways to deal with situations like that. He won’t do it again.”
Placing my hand on his arm—what is it when I’m around him? I always feel the need to touch him in some way—I attempt to convey my message clearly. “Roman.” I wait until he looks at me before continuing. “I know he’s a good kid. I’m just doing my job. I don’t think anything will come of this in light of the events that led to him becoming physical with the other boy.”
He releases a harsh breath, his shoulders dropping.
“I need to speak with him, and maybe I’ll get a statement from the girls, too. Would that be okay with you?”
