Page 44 of Of Vows and War: Special Edition
“Yet here you stand, speaking to a talking cat that no one else sees.” My mouth opened, prepared to deliver a retort, but nothing came out.
He was right.
Wrath disappeared after that, my mind done playing games for now.
I waited on the docks for a few more minutes, trying to imagine what Bellamy was doing at that moment.
“You will be okay, Asher.” Nicola’s appearance scared me enough that I jumped slightly to the right. Gripping my chest, I looked over to her and grimaced. She was wearing a thin and simple dress the same shade of purple as the belladonna berries, her thick curls twisting down her back. She smiled in a way that made me wonder if whatever was in store for me was terribly bleak and she just did not want to admit it.
“Will you?” I asked quietly, stepping back towards her. “Be okay, I mean.”
“Yes. Kafele is waiting for me. We live in the Warden’s estate in the Yesterday Lands now. You will see us soon. I doubt they will let you be on each isle for more than a day or two.” She came closer, grabbing me by the shoulders and tucking me into a hug. I felt her lips briefly graze my ear just before she whispered, “Remember who you are while away. Remember who you have vowed to save.”
And then she pulled away, smiling softly and gripping my hand before walking away. I tightened my fist as I watched her head down the dock, prepared to board a much smaller vessel and go home to her husband. Her life she had made in my absence.
Remember who I had vowed to save.
By the time I made it to the deck of the ship, my hand was aching. I walked all the way to the front, stopping at the railing and looking at the vast ocean. Isle Shifter loomed somewhere out there, ready to greet us.
Finally, I grew the courage and looked down at my open hand. There in my palm sat a small amethyst.
“Well that is pretty. Reminds me of your old necklace.” Xavier’s voice startled me, my skin crawling at the nearness of him. He had burned me, cut me, broke me. Now, he stood mere feet from me, his smile so full it showed his dimple through his barely-there facial hair. His dark waves were loose, reaching just past his shoulders. As always, he wore head-to-toe gold and his crown of gilded flames. “Sorry, Ash. I did not mean to scare you.”
“Odd that torturing me is perfectly fine but scaring me by accident is not,” I hissed, closing my fist tightly and hiding the crystal. There was a sense of foreboding as I looked at him. As if this moment would change fate itself.
Xavier seemed unusually still as he contemplated what I said. I wondered if my words struck him somewhere deeper than they normally did; if, perhaps, he felt remorse. Still, I knew it would not be enough.
“I am sorry that we were tough on you when you were younger. We just needed you to be ready for this world—for this crown. Your power, it is dangerous and unpredictable. At least, it was. But now look at you.” He gestured towards me with both hands, like a farmer showing his prized pig. The one they would later slaughter. “You are a queen, Ash. We are so proud.”
Gods they were convincing. Just as my golden gown and my tiara were. It felt like being back in the palace last year, waiting for and then basking in his approval. If only I had known then just how different real love was. Love was not punishing someone for things they could not change. It did not come with limits or rules. It was unconditional.
“You can pretend like you did not imprison me and that everything is normal, but I know the truth, Xavier. You are not on my side unless I am useful to you, and I promise I never will be again,” I vowed. His eyes went wide, darting quickly to the stairs that led below deck before zeroing in on me again. “Remember that the next time you want to have a sweet little conversation about our past and future.”
With that, I pushed off the railing and turned, heading towards the rooms I knew they would have for me. The only thing worse than being cornered by Xavier would be running into Mia, but I needed to be alone and escape the suffocating presence of lies.
But of course, Xavier would not allow me that peace.
“Play a game of chess with me.” His tone was nearly pleading, a grim sense of desperation pouring from him. Though I knew better than to believe in his false love, my own once unflinching admiration for him flickered like a fading fire somewhere deep in my chest. “It has been far too long since I taught you a lesson in strategy.”
“Do I have a choice?” I asked, looking over my shoulder to glare his way.
Xavier’s entreating eyes squinted slightly, a returning glare forming as he breathed in the defiant air around me. “You have the choice to say yes or for me to make you.”
“Fine.”
“Excellent, I have already set it up in my rooms.”
Of course he had.
We moved silently down the hall of doors, me fuming and him smiling broadly—mood much improved by my submission. Stabbing him would be so wonderfully rewarding. Sadly, all I could do was walk through the door as he held it open and take my seat at the small wooden table. The floors creaked below our feet and chairs as we got comfortable. His bed was small and modest, the quilt a deep gold and the dresser a faded cherry wood. The cramped space felt as if it might suffocate me, damp air not quite filling my lungs before it was fleeing my body.
“As always, white first,” Xavier said, pointing a finger at me. I nodded silently, wishing more than anything to have this game over so I could be alone and free of his clutches. I made my move, eyes darting up to his.
“In chess, the player who makes the first move has a higher chance of success. Why is that, Ash?” he inquired as he too moved a piece. In my youth, I had eagerly looked forward to these lessons. Xavier’s time and presence had been worth more than gold to me. Strange how times change.
“Because they set the tone. To make the first move is to choose the stakes. If chess were an orchestra, white would be the conductor,” I answered, eyeing the board as we continued to battle. He was not going easy on me, but I was also not willing to give in without a fight.
“Interesting.”
