Page 43 of Of Vows and War: Special Edition
Too much. The memories were too much. I fell to my knees, gasping for air as I reminded myself how real it had all been.There was no way I could have made the rest of it up. Not that sort of love.
“You keep doing this, convincing yourself it was real,” Wrath said as he appeared to my right. “Yes, you shared a wonderful moment with the Fire here. But the rest of it was a lie. Did you even go to that market with him? Or had you dreamt that up and convinced yourself it was reality? What do you think Eternity’s price is for your power, Asher? A lost mind maybe?”
“Why are you doing this, Wrath? Why not just leave me alone?” I asked despite knowing what he would say. His chilling smile of sharp teeth conveyed the fact that he was aware of my understanding too.
“I do what you wish me to do. What that insanity that plagues you wishes I do.” His tail swished slowly behind him as he sat and stared at me. Eerie. Far less cute than he had been in life. Finally, I understood Henry’s distaste for Wrath.
“You are—” I cut myself off, my eye catching on a flower beneath the bench that was not quite the same soft purple as the lavender plants that grew here. No, this was a deeper purple, like an unripe plum. Bending down further, I was also able to catch sight of berries. Nearly black in color. “Belladonna.”
I remembered the plant only because Nicola had been so interested in it.
“A berry that tastes sweet but can kill? What an unsettling and intriguing little plant!”she had said after I told her about what I learned in a Healer class.
Since then, Nicola had become obsessed with it. She even had Mia craft her one that she kept on her windowsill in her chambers within the palace. And it looked just like these.
Sterling had called it nightshade. He had said they were poisoning us with it.
“Or maybe she grew it for your friend and you are using real memories to create fake ones,” Wrath countered with a chuckle.
“Guard!” I shouted, hitting my head on the way up. I was rubbing the sore spot when the guard came running around the corner, her black armor clinking together as she darted my way.
“Your Highness! How can I be of service to you?” Quite frazzled, the fae did not inquire why I was on the ground or why my hands were now slightly purple. Clearly, she was just eager to help me and be on with her day. That was perfect.
“Are you a Fire by any chance?”
“Um…well, yes, I am.”
“Excellent.” Calling to my magic, and begging it would go easy on my already aching head after this, I pushed into her mind. There had been no shield, no fortification, nothing but free access. Hastily, I sat up straighter and lowered my tone to that of The Manipulator.“Burn these flowers. Burn every flower in this garden and then forget you ever left your post.”
Then I stood, walking away to the sweet smell of cruelty alight and a horrid ache in my head. They were still poisoning me somehow. I had not eaten again since being in Sterling’s chambers, so it must have been a different way. Wrath followed silently at my side, weaving through my legs here and there. When the path ended, I cut through the grass and made my way to the far docks where we would depart.
I had always dreamed of seeing the realm I was raised to lead. But now, even though I knew Nicola was plotting something, I felt as if it were sullied. Ruined. My feet dragged, dirt probably staining my shoes. I was meant to take the carriage, but my desire for solitude and fresh air outweighed the ache in my legs.
“It will take you hours to get there,” Wrath huffed. He never said we.
“Well then, I hope you have more entertaining things to say than calling me crazy. Perhaps a song?”
***
By the time I arrived at the docks, the pain in my head had become piercing and my feet felt as if they might fall off. The sun was high in the sky, bright and fierce. Still summer, I had learned. I had been asleep mere days rather than months.
“You are late,” Sterling chided from where he leaned against a wooden pole upon the dock. His curls were perfectly coiled atop his head, his body clad in the vibrant gold of royal fae. A gold band twin to my own that now burned in the gardens was once more on his finger. Mia had insisted.
The ship loomed behind him, far out into the water and much larger than it needed to be for a voyage from isle to isle. They were not so far apart that we required something so exquisite. But of course the royals would request this.
“If this is when I got here then everyone else is early,” I said. Sterling laughed, tossing his head back, and I found it impossible not to join in.
“Then why can you not just be happy with this male, Strange One?” Wrath asked as Sterling reached out a hand, the prince’s eyes snagging on my ringless finger. My heart lurched to a stop at the insinuation the dalistori was making.
“You go ahead, I want to stay on solid land for as long as I can.” A smile graced my face, I could feel it, but inside my mind, thoughts—memories—fluttered like butterflies.
Sterling seemed hesitant to board the small boat that would take us to the ship, his nose scrunched and lips pursed. Eventually he nodded and turned.
“You know why,” I whispered to Wrath. We watched as a guard rowed Sterling out, and then the prince was climbing arope ladder. He made it up quickly, approaching who must have been the captain. His smile was exuberant even in the distance, his soul ready to adventure once more. “He is not Bellamy.”
“Yes, your imaginary lover. Do tell me how that goes for the rest of your unfortunately long life.”
“I could not have imagined him. He is far better than I ever deserved. Especially after Sipho. You think me more creative than I am.”
