Page 29 of Just Say (Hell) No
Fortunately or unfortunately, she wasn’t looking at him. She told Ella, “You’ll have to squash up as well, I’m afraid.”
“I don’t mind,” Ella said, and climbed into the back. “As long as Marko doesn’t shove his seat back.”
“Marko,” he said, folding himself into the passenger seat with his kitten, “is all good.” Marko wanted to know how she knew that a man taller than him fit in this car, who he was, and how much she liked him. He failed as a modern man in so many ways.
Nyree didn’t answer, just hopped into the driver’s seat, pulled out, and executed a screaming U-turn. The bus behind her hooted as she accelerated off, and she said, “People are so impatient.”
“Bloody hell,” Marko said. “I think my life just flashed before my eyes.”
“And other people,” Nyree said, “need to loosen up.” She made a quick right in front of a blue sedan onto Kohimarama Road and said, “You didn’t die that time, either.”
He put his hand over his eyes. “Wake me when it’s over.”
“Ha,” she said. “I’m not the one who gets bashed in the head for a living. So what did you name her?”
“Pardon?” he said. “I couldn’t hear you over the pounding of my heart.”
“The kitten. What’s her name?”
She’d climbed his shirt again. “I’ve just been calling her ‘Cat.’ She seems to like it.”
“You have to give her aname.”
“Iknow,”Ella said from the back seat. “She’s going to get a complex.”
“She is not going to get a complex,” Marko said. “She’s a cat. I’ll give her a surname, though. Cat Cat. Happy?”
“You,” Nyree informed him, “need to learn to embrace the pleasures of life.”
He considered telling her that he had a plan for that. He decided to work up to it.
After only three or four more near-death experiences, she pulled, with a dramatic screech of tires, into the driveway of an absolutely unremarkable single-story brick house that didn’t have nearly enough personality to be hers. It must be, though, because she hopped out, repeated the performance with the dog crate and the dress and the thighs, and waited while Shadow took a wee on the grass. Marko let the kitten down to do the same, and she picked up her paws and leaped about as if the blades of grass were stabbing her.
“She doesn’t like it,” Nyree said, and Marko said, “Got that, didn’t I,” took her over to the bare patch of earth near the fence, and said, “Cat box. Go.” And fortunately, she did.
Nyree said, “Come inside a minute while I get Shadow settled. You may want to leave the kitten here while we shop. You could bring the crate in for me, Marko.”
She didn’t go into the back door of the house. She went into the garage. And if her driving was an assault to the senses? This was more.
It wasn’t that it was untidy, because it wasn’t. Quite. It was just…crowded.
Ella said, “Do youlivehere? Seriously?Onlyhere?”
“Seriously,” Nyree said. “Put the crate by the couch, please, Marko.” She was at the sink in the tiniest kitchenette he’d ever seen, pouring water into two bowls, and setting them on the floor. In the only space there was. Both animals had a drink, and the dog went into her crate and snuggled down. The kitten took a leap up Marko’s leg, dug in, fell back, and meowed, and Marko picked her up again and said, “You’re meant to explore, Cat. Failure at being a wild animal.” In answer, she crawled up to sit on his shoulder.
Ella said, “Is your couch a seat from a car?” It clearly was. Gray. It had a blue shawl flung over the back as if that would make it better.
“Yeh,” Nyree said. “Rear seat from a Honda. Makes you wonder why people spend thousands at the furniture store when there Car Wreckers is, and they have them just lying around.”
“Not as comfortable, though,” Marko said.
“Oh?” She widened her changeling eyes at him. “No good? Never lain down on a car seat?”
He was considering the wisest answer to that when Ella said, “Where do you sleep?”
“Here.” Nyree took three steps to the back corner, beside a door that had to enclose the world’s smallest bathroom, and pushed aside a trifold screen. It had probably been meant to look Japanese, but only half the white paper inserts remained. The other half had been replaced with thin wood, painted white, covered with pressed flowers, ferns, and leaves, and lacquered over.
“Oh, it’s gorgeous,” Ella said. “Did you make the screen? And thebed.”
