Page 39 of Run to Me
“You’ll see with time, anything is possible. He’s gone and I’m here. Please let me stay.” His words shake. He doesn’t know who “he” is, only about there being someone before him.
I swallow back the emotion in my throat and shake my head. When I try to pull away, he holds onto me, keeping me in place. “At least think about it.”
“It won’t do either of us any good. If I say yes to you, I’ll only hurt you in the end. He could walk through that door after we make promises to each other and I’ll probably still run into his arms. Is that what you want? You shouldn’t settle for anything less than you deserve.”
“And neither should you.” He squeezes my fingers, his intense gaze holding mine, but not for the reason he wants it to.
“He’s been gone for how long now? What makes you think he’s coming back? When was the last time you heard from him?”
“Seven years,” I whisper. But I swear he left a little bit of him behind everywhere I go. It’s what my heart wants to believe.
“How about instead of waiting for something that might never happen, you take a chance with me and let me give you what you need now.”
“And what’s that?”
“Love. Devotion. To be here every time you need someone to lean on. He can’t give you that and I can. Let me. We’ll worry about the what-ifs later.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“I’m asking for you. I just want you. Exactly as you are.”
My chest aches with each inhale and exhale. I think over his words before saying, “Okay. But what I said before is all still true. I’ll marry you as long as you can live with the fact that someone else will always be my first choice.”
He gets to his feet, letting go of my hand only long enough to open the box and slip the ring on my finger. “We’ll see about that.”
I want to say I hope he’s right, but even if losing feelings and forgetting about Nate would make my life easier, I don’t want to ever feel less for him than I do now. It wouldn’t feel right to. He was meant to be mine and I was meant to be his. I just need him to find his way back to me.
I don’t stop him from opening the box again, and hold out my hand so he can slip the gorgeous simple silver band with a small diamond heart in the center on my finger. I’m not a materialistic person, or huge on wearing jewelry, but I am very sentimental. I love having proof of special moments, and Glen really wants to make sure I hang on to all the ones he feels we share.
His eyes light up and he kisses my hand again, getting back up to his feet to press his lips to mine. I smile against his mouth and it’s not forced. I do feel a little happiness, because he is a good guy, and even though I don’t feel like I deserve so much understanding from him, he gives it to me anyway. He might be right and Jace may never come back. If I really had to spend the rest of my life with someone else, Glen would be the best choice.
I do care for him, and though the love I feel may not be the same as what I have for Jace, it’s still there. And who knows, maybe over time I can really be what he needs me to be. Maybe Jace can really feel like nothing but a brother to me someday, and Glen can be my new everything. Just maybe.
Glen kisses me again and whistles loudly, signaling for others to join us from a distance. My eyes widen when my parents rush forward to congratulate us. I stand frozen at the loud squeals from our close friends and other family. How close were they when I shared my uncertainty with him? Nothing about their expressions gives away that they heard anything I said, and he did have to make a noise to alert them to come out. He had it all planned out this way. He knew I’d have my doubts and worries.
But I don’t know if he did this for me or him? Who did he try to save from embarrassment? I’d never have to question any of this with Jace. He was always thinking about others before himself.
“Oh, honey. I’m so happy for you both.” My mom embraces me in a hug while my dad taps me on the shoulder. My bio mom of course is nowhere to be seen, but I’m used to her being absent by now. She had an excuse for not showing up to my high-school and college graduation, so I’m sure she’d come up with some other blatant lie this time too. I don’t need her here anyway. I don’t need her at all. The person I truly want to see isn’t here, and I can’t expect him to be either.
“I tried to invite your brother but he’s a hard guy to reach,” Glen whispers in my ear, resting a hand at the hilt of my back.
I swallow the dryness in my throat, stomach tightening. Does that mean he never answered? He knows my brother and I are estranged, but he also knows he’s an important person in my life. I guess he didn’t want to leave him out even if he knew there was no chance of him coming.
“Yeah, he’s not a huge fan of phones.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed. Email definitely worked better. Your mom gave me his address when I asked, and he said he’d try to make it.” He stares at me with a proud look in his eyes.
All I can do is stand here tongue tied, losing all ability to speak and think. Right when I feel I’m ready to move again, a tall, slender figure stands between all the smiling faces, his face neutral and eyes distant. My heart rattles in my chest, breaths sticking to the back of my throat. He’s here. He actually came. Why now?
His hair is longer, the bottom half of his face covered in dark facial hair, but he still looks like the Jace I remember. Only older and more serious. He’s wearing dark jeans and his old hoodie, and he gives me a short nod.
“Is that him?” Glen’s mouth brushes over my ear, eyes locked on the man I’m still expecting to disappear at any given moment.
“Yes,” I answer, fully unsure of who he means. The answer applies either way, but he doesn’t know that.
“Jace,” my mom shouts. “Is that really you?”
“Well look who finally emerged from the farm,” my dad says, voice sounding humorous, and Glen relaxes beside me, kissing my cheek.
