Page 40 of Run to Me
“Hey, Dad. I see you decided to grow that mustache out after all. Looks like you belong where I live more than I do now.
Mom lets out a short laugh, her face unreadable. After all this time she should be happy he’s here. He’s her son after all. I wonder if she thinks he came here to mess this up for me. It seemed to be her thinking all those years ago.
“I don’t think he means to do it,” she said to me. “I think his mind just operates differently than ours. After what he’s been through.”
I bite the inside of my cheeks, the taste of copper hitting my tongue. Her words stung my ears, leaving behind a poisonous taste in my mouth.
“It’s good to see you, son,” Dad says, wrapping Jace in a tight hug. I stay where I am, still in disbelief. I’m scared that if I get too close he’ll vanish the way he does when I wake up from my dreams.
“Hey, little brother,” he says, flicking his eyes down to me. My height hasn’t caught up to his yet. He towers over me more now than he did then.
“Hey,” I say, not recognizing my own voice.
“Congratulations. This must be the lucky fella.” His eyes bounce between mine and Glen’s.
“Yeah. This is Glen. Glen this is—”
“The infamous Jace. I know. Nice to finally meet you. This one talks about you all the time and all the adventures you’ve been on together.”
Jace cocks his head. “Does he now? Hopefully he hasn’t told you anything too embarrassing.” He presses his lips into a wavering smile.
“Nah, not at all. Well, maybe a little. But what brother doesn’t.” Glen laughs, stepping forward. “I hope you’ll be joining us for dinner and the celebratory drinks afterward.”
Jace presses his lips together, eyes back on me. “Sounds like a fun time.”
“You can ride with us, hun,” Mom says, smiling between us.
“Or he can come with us. We have plenty of room. I’m sure Nate would like to spend more time with his brother.”
My mom’s brows lift, forehead wrinkling. “Well, it’s completely up to you.” She lays a hand on Jace’s arm, her eyes passing a message only the two of them can understand.
He nods. “Yeah, sure. It’ll give me time to size you up a little, make sure you’re right for my Nate. You know, like big brothers should do.”
“Great. So it’s been decided then.”
I open my mouth to argue, closing it when Glen guides Jace to his SUV. I follow them, waving everyone else off, and my stomach folds in on itself when Jace sits up front with Glen. Feeling uneasy about this whole situation, I hop in the back, listening carefully as they talk about what Jace has been up to on the farm. How many animals he has and if he plans on coming back home to Texas anytime soon.
“No plans as of yet.” He looks back at me and then at Glen. “My uncle isn’t doing too well health wise and has mentioned wanting me to take over the farm. He thinks I’m the perfect man for the job and I really don’t feel like there’s anything else out there for me.” Uncle Judd had a heart attack after being hit in the chest by one of his horses a year ago and hasn’t been the same since, so I can understand my aunt wanting him to retire sooner than planned. He’s also sixteen years older than my dad and has never cared much for managing his diabetes.
“Really?” I say, not realizing the words actually came out until Jace is watching me again.
“Yeah . . . I like the quiet, simple life out there, and it’s a free feeling working out in the open. You know how much I’ve always enjoyed the outdoors.”
“Yeah, I do.” I remember well how full of life he looked whenever he was standing under the bright sunlight or breathing in the fall air, spinning around in flying leaves. “It was hard to get your ass inside some days.”
He scoffed. “Right. As if you cared to be indoors yourself. You loved the water parks, drive-ins, and festivals.”
“You’re right, I did. None of that feels the same anymore.” Not without you.
“Yeah. Things do seem different here.” He shifts in his seat, looking ahead.
“I wouldn’t know,” Glen adds, reminding us both of his presence. “I didn’t grow up here like you two. College brought me here and well, Nate kept me here.” He shoots me a quick smile before turning onto the road the restaurant’s on.
Jace asks the questions next, wanting to know how we met and how long we’ve been together. Guilt settles in my gut when Glen is way too excited to answer, smiling as he talks about the party he first saw me at and how he couldn’t take his eyes off me.
I look at Jace, wishing I could see his face and know what he’s thinking. Is he truly happy for me or is he as jealous as I would be if our roles were reversed? I was more relieved than I should be when he showed up here alone. Not like it matters. Not like he wants me like that anymore.
Doesn’t mean I can’t want him to anyway. I tried to move on. I’m still trying. I’m sitting in the back seat of my new fiancé’s car, twisting my engagement ring on my finger, wishing I could stop wanting to be alone with the wrong person. Wishing I could stop wanting him to look at me the way he used to and beg me not to go for it.
