Page 45 of Love Me Like It's Real
“Damn right, fucking ‘oh.’” Mom frowns.
Way to sound like a dickhead there.
“Why have you never told me then?”
“Because it’s none of your fucking beeswax, is it?”
“I deserved that.”
“And I didn’t want you to use me as an example of how to live your life. Because I know who and what I am now, but I also know who you are and you’re not like me. I know that. You want to be loved even if you refuse to accept it or see it.”
“Back to me again,” I huff. “I’m too tired to keep going around in circles. I’m going home.”
Mom doesn’t say anything, but stares at me as I pick up my coat and walk out the door feeling judged and frustrated with myself.
I hate having this conversation with her. It never leads anywhere, but at least she knows where I’m coming from. Anyone else reading the stupid blog doesn’t.
Maybe I need this “arrangement” with Felix after all. Maybe I need to show everyone another side of me, even if it’s fake. Maybe they need to see I’m not a hopeless bachelor who will never fall in love even if that’s exactly who I am and proud of it.
When I arrive home I get my phone out and send a quick text to Felix.
Hayworth:
Hey, when are you free for our first official fake date?
I haven’t even taken my shoes off when I get his reply.
Felix:
Let me check with Cheyenne. What were you thinking?
Hayworth:
I don’t know. You’re the one who suggested this arrangement.
Felix:
And you’re the “dating specialist.” You must have ideas.
Hayworth:
I do, but what do you want to get out of it?
I know for a fact it’s not sex. I know it’s to make the girls happy, but unless they come out on the date with us I don’t see why we can’t do whatever we want when we’re out.
Felix:
I don’t mind as long as you pick me up and drop me off. I just need the girls to believe we’re out on a date.
Hayworth:
So…hang out at mine.
Felix:
Jack Hayworth, get your mind out of the gutter.
Hayworth:
