Page 30 of The Illuminated
We were in love. We were from the same land, the same coven, imbued with the same purpose instilled in us by our families. We were like magnets, mirror images of each other’s desires and needs, and we were pulled together by a force just as strong as the magick that coursed through my veins.
But then I remembered the insidious inner voice from the dungeons, and that flood of insecurity and doubt came rushing back up to the surface. Maybe I was just the boring version of what he’d already experienced many times before.
“What could you possibly offer without touching her?” I asked, my tone cold.
Daelon looked viscerally uncomfortable, which only made me angrier. “There’s plenty of things to do with someone without ever laying a hand on them.”
His words unsettled me in more ways than one, a flash of Lucius in my mind for reasons I didn’t want to even begin to dissect.
I fought and failed to keep my eyes from welling up. “I am so tired of crying.”
“Áine, please,” Daelon whispered, bringing my hand to his chest and caressing my skin. “I love you, and only you, and the thought of being with anyone else repulses me.” He pressed against the barriers of my magickal perception, and I let him flood me with the truth of his energy. As always, it matched his words perfectly.
“Do I bore you?” If he was used to all the kinky games and mind control Lucius told me about, then maybe what we had wasn’t enough.
“Bore me? I don’t think you were really reading that part of my soul if you could even ask that question.”
“Do you think she loves you?” I asked, quickly changing the subject. I didn’t want to think about the sex part of their relationship a second longer.
He paused. “No. She would’ve told me.”
Well, that was just plain naïve. I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the delicately painted ceiling. The anger and jealousy were a welcome relief from yesterday’s sadness.
“I think Lucius’s new delusions about you are far more concerning than anything regarding Renata,” he said, his tone cold. “About the two of you beingsuited for each other.”
“I very much disagree.”
Daelon was silent for a few beats. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. Or do.”
“I want to go back to my own room,” I whispered. He didn’t know what to do and neither did I. We were trapped in our prospective roles until we found our way out of this castle, and I had no idea when that would be and what kind of damage would be done until then.
“I know, baby. You have no idea how badly I want you out of here. Once Lucius gets back, I’ll tell him you’re better now and don’t need to be monitored any longer.” He tugged on my hand, pulling me to face him again. “You would tell me if you ever felt like hurting yourself again, wouldn’t you?”
I rolled my eyes in frustration.
“You’re scaring me. I don’t think you’re taking care of yourself in here. I told you how hard it would be not to get lost. It feels like I’m losing you to this place—tohim.”
“I’m trying my best,” was all I could say. We were both trying our best, but it wasn’t good enough for either of us. “There’s just this constant pressure. It feels like I’m tiptoeing around a minefield with a bomb vest strapped to my chest, playing a game that I don’t know the rules to. Or trying to navigate a deadly maze without a map.”
“We’ve found help,” Daelon said, squeezing my hand. “You work on finding the Akashic Records with Amos, and I’ll work on keeping you safe. I already have a plan in motion just in case Lucius’s coronation scheme comes sooner than we’re ready for.” He stared insistently, and I remembered what I’d told him the last time we spoke. I’d pretended the reason I was so upset was because I knew I would die sooner than become Queen.
“Oh yeah? What is it?” I asked, dread in my stomach at the mention of the Akashic.
Hecate and Amos wanted me to have faith that I could survive my own death. Now that I’d seen the dungeons, I knew that if I needed to go to the mystical recordkeeping place in order to free those witches from torture, I would do it at any cost. I didn’t want to be a martyr, but if it was my life traded for the many, I would accept my fate.
Daelon’s shield hardened. “The exact details need more work. Taryn and I talked yesterday after you’d sent me to find her. I don’t know how to explain it, but it felt like we’d both been called to help you. To find a way to make sure Lucius couldn’t kill you if you refused the coronation ritual. Don’t worry about it, though. We have it handled.”
A flash of Lucius’s resurrected witch and the dark altar rose to the forefront of my mind. I still didn’t know how they connected to Lucius’s origins, or the history of the older generation and their demise, but that was what the Akashic Records was for, wasn’t it? The truth couldn’t come soon enough.
“I’m glad to see Taryn is coping better with her purpose,” I murmured. “And that you two are working together.”
“It’s all going to work out, Áine. I promise. Our parents left us all a map. Just because we can’t see the whole picture doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Just look how far along the path we’ve already traveled.”
His features softened as his gaze held mine. He looked so excited and passionate, like he knew how badly I needed someone else to carry the torch of hope right now.
“We’re going to have that cottage by the beach and preserve our parents’ traditions and rituals. Let me show you what I’ve been thinking,” he said. I could hear the faint tinge of desperation in his voice.
I was afraid we could both feel this widening gap, so I clutched his hand tightly and closed my eyes. I let his vision take form in my mind: a small house painted light blue with tall wildflowers reaching up from the lawn around the front porch. We sat together there on the steps, and we had never looked so in love andfree.It was a kind of freedom that this world hadn’t seen in a very long time, and we both finally had a slice of it. The sky above was clear, and all around us the village had been resurrected and given life. I heard other voices and laughter, and the sound of it sent a wave of warmth and shivers across my skin.
