Page 42 of Desert Loyalties
After that, things shifted. Slowly. Quietly. The women saw it before I did, that I had pull. That I had power. They started coming to me. Listening. Trusting. And I leaned in. I stepped up. And somewhere in the middle of managing booze orders, bandaging bruises, and breaking up fights before they turned deadly, I stopped screwing around.
Not because I had to. Because I didn’t need it anymore, the validation I looked for by screwing random men. I grew up. Without even realizing it, I’d found something real. Something steady. Something I didn’t think existed for people like me.
I found my anchor. My storm in leather and ink and impossible smiles.
I found myforever.
Everything isn’t fixed. Not even close.
The party’s over. The sun’s up. People are passed out in every corner of the clubhouse, and I’m lying in this big, warm bed that smells like him, staring at the ceiling, wide awake. The high of last night is still in my system, but under it, something darker stirs.
Reality.
I still have to deal with my “family.” Drake and my future at the Horsemen MC is still in the air. The plan we’ve put into place; God, it could backfire so easily. And if it does, it’s not just me who’ll go down. It’ll be all of us. The club. Drake. People who’ve taken me in, protected me, believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself.
My biggest fear right now, is the future. Thing is, I have committed a crime, unknowingly but a crime none the less.
Drake lost his family to a fire. A tragic accident he told me about. That’s why I haven’t told him. Why I couldn’t.
How could I? How do you look someone you love in the eye and say,hey, by the way, I know fire destroyed your life, me too. Only, I lit mine on purpose.
He won’t hate me, I know that. But what if he looks at me different when he finds out I’m not as clean as he believes.
I roll over in the empty bed, run my fingers over the spot where Drake’s body had been hours ago. It’s still warm. He’d kissed my forehead before he left, I remember that much. Whispered something I didn’t catch before I fell asleep.
He doesn’t know the real reason I changed my name. Why I was so terrified when my father found me. Why I couldn’t breathe when I saw that email from him.
He doesn’t know, that I killed my grandparents.
Chapter 17
MANDRAKE
Being woken up at the ass crack of dawn was not what I had planned. Not after last night. Not after how hard we partied. But Church waits for no man, and definitely not for one who’s now got the title of “claimed.”
I’m still shaking off sleep when I walk into the Chapel, the meeting room buried in the back of the clubhouse. The table’s already half full. Ashes in the tray, empty coffee cups scattered around. Everyone looks like varying degrees of death warmed over.
I drop into my seat, rubbing my hands over my face. “Who the fuck scheduled Church the morning after a celebration?”
Caine’s sitting across from me, jittery as fuck, his leg bouncing. He looks like he’s aged ten years since last night. Bags under his eyes, jaw clenched, eyes flicking to the door every few seconds like someone’s gonna bust in with a warrant.
“What the fuck is wrong with him?” I ask out loud.
Joker doesn’t even try to hide his laugh. “Oh, you haven’t heard?”
“Heard what?”
And just like that, the vultures descend. Every guy around the table grins like they’ve been waiting for the right moment to unload this one.
“Caine,” Knuckles starts, drawing it out. “Had himself a good time last night. Double throttle.”
“Double throttle?” I repeat.
“Yeah,” Joker leans in, eyes gleaming. “One girl riding his face, one bouncing on his cock. Man looked like he died and went to pussy heaven.”
I raise a brow. “So why does he look like he just watched his dog get shot?”
They all laugh, and then Knuckles delivers the punchline.
