Page 198 of Frost and Death
Dorit pulls away and holds my sides. “He does these things for you, Tove, because he cares about you.”
Shame strikes through me, sinking deep into my bones and permanently joining itself with the gloom and sorrow I always carry.
“He shouldn’t care,” I tell her.
She rubs my sides as if to reassure me, but everything in me wants to deny her statement. I can’t even consider the thought because feelings make everything messier.
A cough comes from beyond my bedchamber, and our heads whip to the door. We both look at each other as mortification sets in.
Fuck.
I mouth,It’s Jerrick!
I freeze in place as Dorit tilts her head to the door.
“Her Majesty is using the bathing chamber and still needs to get dressed. Come back in a few minutes!” she hollers.
“I’ll wait for my wife out here.”
Jerrick’s low response is rich and makes my stomach somersault.
I bite the inside of my cheek as my grip on Dorit tightens.
She whispers softly, “It’s going to be okay. Let’s fix your liner, and we’ll get the dress on quickly.”
She nudges me to the vanity and sits me down. Dorit goes into the bathing chamber and returns with a damp cloth to rub over my eyes and clean up the kohl.
I tremble with worry of everything happening tonight and reach for her hand, forcing her to stop her actions. “Dorit.”
She halts her movements, glancing to my hold on her arm before meeting my gaze with understanding.
Magic flares awake within my core, sensing the fear and danger I am bringing upon myself. I release her immediately, my power cascading my arms in rapid succession.
Breathe, Tove.
Just relax.
The success of this ball tonight is extremely important, as is talking to Niko and Jerrick. Sweet Makers, how do I keep ending up in this position where everything relies on my ability to throw a good party while I struggle to remain calm?
Everyone from both kingdoms was invited, meaning noblemen and citizens that view me as a monster will murmur my nickname.
And Niko is supposed to be here. How will I face him?
Deities, Jerrick is in the hall waiting for me, and fuck if that doesn’t make me even more sick to my stomach.
What if there is another duel between them right in the middle of the ball?
What am I going to do if someone calls me Snow Queen?
Fuck.
I close my eyes and grip the vanity, attempting to calm the swirl of emotions. I focus on my breathing, focus on my training, balancing my emotions at least to a point where I can keep my own magic from using them against me. I struggle to find graceful words for myself, the process longer than normal for me.
But the frost mercifully disintegrates from my veins, and when I look to Dorit, she is smiling.
Tears line my eyes at her confidence in me and her close presence when my magic manifested. I blink the tears away quickly, allowing her to proceed.
Dorit resumes putting kohl over my eyes as if she has no care in the world.
