Will my brothers retaliate? Will they forgive me?
I confessed. Told them I was in love with him.
“In love,” I said. Even though now, I don’t know if that’s the truth. How could it be?
I was in love with him. Once. I think?
But I confessed my betrayal right alongside his.
Does anyone trust me anymore?
And here I am, facing my absolute worst fear of all: being powerless. Being used.
Being complicit in cruelty.
Betraying my family.
My whole life, since I was a small child, I’ve given everything I could to my family. I’ve poured out my heart and soul in loving them, being faithful and loyal, and now… now they must hate me.
All I ever tried to do was the right thing. And now I sit across from him, from Seamus McCarthy, the man who calls himself my husband.
Am I in shock?
My husband.
He’s coldly efficient, commanding, and brutal with his authority. There was a time I maybe even loved that about him.
Now? I’m afraid.
He keeps saying he’s the head of the house.
What will he do to me?
“Are you tired, love?” he asks, after we’ve settled on the plane.
I nod. “I’m exhausted,” I murmur. “I want to close my eyes and sleep forever.”
And when I wake, I want to believe it’s all a dream. That I did nothing wrong. That my family is safe. That I’m married to someone who loves me.
The weight of it all is crushing. Absolutely crushing.
“I’m a little hungry,” I say, my voice soft, almost unsure. “Are we going back to Ballyhock now?”
“Aye,” he says, pride sliding into his tone. “But not back to my family. Not yet. We go to our home first.”
Our home.
He doesn’t meet my eyes when he finishes. “My family doesn’t know what I’ve done yet, but they will soon. It’s… complicated.”
Oh god.
“Will you be in trouble for what you did?”
He laughs. It's dark. Joyless.
“Let me see,” he says, holding out his hand and counting off his sins. “First, I escaped a Russian jail. Second, I murdered the man you were betrothed to, which won’t just bring your family’s vengeance, but his as well. Third, I threw thegauntlet at your entire house. So now I’m wanted in a Russian prison, and I’ve likely started at least two wars that will end in bloodshed.”
He nods slowly, deliberately.