Page 44 of Bleeding Hearts
“I’m so sorry, Alice. I’m so fucking sorry for everything I said and did to you to keep you at arm’s length. I have no excuses for it. You’ve been . . .” Her voice is thick as she swallows, her own eyes misty with tears. “You’ve always been there for me, even when I didn’t deserve it. What I said about Tommy’s deathand blaming you was a fucked-up thing to say and not true. You should have fucking slapped me, but even when I cut you with my sharp words, you held me with soft hands. I don’t deserve it, but I need you to listen to me now. None of it was your fault.” She grips my cheeks as she presses her forehead to mine. “None of it.”
Tears fall down my face unchecked, and she kisses them away. “God, I hate that I made you cry so much. I hate the look in your eyes right now, making me wonder how long you’ve been struggling with the impact of my drunken words. I’m a bitch. I don’t deserve you.” She covers my mouth when I go to protest. “It’s the truth, but if you’ll let me, baby, I want to spend the rest of our lives working to deserve you. So no, I won’t push you away anymore. I’ll let you in. Every broken, ruined piece of me is yours if you want it. Just—” She closes her eyes for a moment. “Don’t break my heart like everyone else, Alice. I survived Tommy’s death and not having my family, but I couldn’t survive losing you too.”
Licking my lips, I taste the salt from our combined tears as I lean into her. “Never,” I vow. “You’ll never lose me. I’m here until the end. When will you realize that? Nothing could take me from you. I’m yours, and you’re mine. This thing between us is twisted and born from grief and pain, but it’s ours, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I met you on the worst night of my life, Lally. We are partners, so stop trying to protect me. I’m right here. You don’t need to be strong any longer, my love. I’ll be strong for you. Just let it go. Just give it to me.”
Her lips tremble, and I sweep my thumbs over her watering eyes as a sob erupts from her. Pressing her face into my chest, she wraps her arms around me, and I hold her as she cries for everything she lost and endured.
She cries for everything she has had to do to get here, and I hold her through it all.
“Shh.” I rub her back. “That’s it, let it all go, Lally. I’m right here. I promise. It’s all going to be okay. I’ll make sure it is.”
I don’t know how long we sit there before she leans back and wipes at her face, but I push her hands away and dry it for her. “Beautiful,” I murmur, and she smiles.
“I’m a mess.”
When will she see herself like I do?
“You’re always beautiful, messy or otherwise. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” I punctuate each word with a kiss. “My beautiful, perfect girl.” When I pull back, she’s watching me with softness in her eyes. “Let’s go home.”
She nods but hesitates. “I need to tell you something. The game . . . Risk. I didn’t just join for the thrill. I’m going to lose my scholarship. I have hardly any time to gather the money for my tuition or I have to leave Pine Valley.” My heart freezes. “That’s why I did it. I need the money. I didn’t want to rely on anyone for it. It’s my mess, so I wanted to handle it.”
“Lally—”
“I know you guys would have helped, but I wanted . . . Ineededto do this. That’s why I can’t stop, Alice. I need to win. I have to win. My home is here with you, Alek, Evan, Skylar, and Bones. I won’t lose it. I’m going to win and pay off my tuition.” She takes a deep breath. “Will you help me?”
I can’t deny her anything. There are other ways we could get the money, but she’s letting me in, and if I say no, she’ll close down and never let me in again.
“Yes, I’ll help you win,” I promise. “Now let’s go home. My feet hurt like a bitch.”
She laughs and kisses me softly. “Okay.” Turning, she offers me her back. “Hop up, baby, your chariot awaits.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Itake her back to my place since it’s closer. Carefully sitting her on my bed, I get the first-aid kid she actually bought me after one too many drunken falls and kneel, carefully cleaning her feet. There is only one deep cut, and it doesn’t look like it will need stitches, but I’ll make her get checked in the morning just in case.
I bandage them then look up at her, placing a gentle kiss over the top of each foot as she watches me. She’s quiet for once, and I remember the way she squirmed in my arms earlier. She didn’t get off.
She’s been such a good girl tonight, she deserves it, and I have another wicked thought.
She’s just so easy to tease, I can’t resist, especially now that I’ve decided I’m all in with her. She wants me, so she can have me. I’m tired of holding back.
I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.
It’s time to take what’s mine.
Her skirt slid up when she sat, and I see some bruises on her thigh. For a moment, anger flares through me as I run my hand over them. “Is this from the crowd?”
She nods, and I frown, hating that she got hurt while I was right there. It will never happen again. I press my lips to the bruises as she pouts.
“Did it hurt?” I murmur as I slide my lips back and forth over her skin. Her eyes are wide as she nods. “Anywhere else?”
She nods again, and I have to bite back my smile. She’s so fucking cute. She’s brazen and bold until I start touching her, and then she melts in my hands. I fucking love it.
“Show me where else they hurt you,” I murmur. She nods and touches her other thigh. I place a kiss there, then she points again, and I kiss that spot as well. Her eyes are wide, her lips parted as I kneel before her, and she slides down, her skirt gathering at her waist.
She lifts it higher, flashing her lacy panties as she wiggles on my bed. “Here,” she murmurs, pointing to her hip, just below the lace of her underwear.
Leaning in, I place a hard, possessive kiss there before sliding my tongue over the spot. She gasps and arches up as I pull back.
