Page 43 of Bleeding Hearts
I stumble to my feet, and she catches me as the door swings open. While everyone else is talking, she helps me down the stairs. It’s slow-going because of my feet, and when we reach the bottom, tears gather in my eyes from the pain. She sees it and turns just outside the door, crouches, and gives me her back. “Hop on, baby.”
“I can walk,” I protest.
“Alice, get on my fucking back.”
Biting my lower lip, I press my hands to her shoulders and jump. She catches me as she stands and hoists me higher. Her hands slip under my legs to hold me as I gape. She grins at me over her shoulder. “I work out so I can throw hotties like you around.” Her smirk turns into a pained yelp as I bite her neck. “Alice, Jesus!”
“Only me,” I snap. “You work out to throw me around, no one else.”
“Jealous, baby?” she scoffs, but she seems happy as she walks out of the skyscraper and sets off into the city, determined to carry me back.
It’s nice.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“So . . . how many people have you been with?” I ask casually as we walk. It’s been on my mind since her comment. I know Lally isn’t a virgin, but I’m curious and, yes, a little jealous.
Okay, a lot.
I want to find all the girls she’s been with and scratch their eyes out. I won’t, but the thought is there.
“Nope, not happening,” she responds.
“Lally,” I snap.
“Alice,” she retorts as she lifts me higher.
“I was just asking,” I mutter. “I wasn’t going to make a murder list or anything.”
“Sure you weren’t,” she scoffs, and then she’s quiet for a moment as I sulk. “It doesn’t matter who I’ve been with, baby. None of them were you. They were all just some momentary fun to distract me from the pain. They meant nothing. They are faceless bodies. I never loved them, not like I love you. Being with you is . . . different. It has meaning and emotions. I can’t say I’m sorry, and I can’t change my past even if I wanted to make you feel better, but you have to know, Alice, that you’re allI see now. You’re all that matters. You are the only one I want to be with. They were sex, but we are so much more, baby. We are everything.”
I debate her words, leaning into her shoulder. “Don’t sweet-talk me. Fine, I’ll leave it alone, but I’m not saying I won’t smack a bitch if I see them.”
“Such a jealous girl,” she teases. “Have you always been this possessive?”
“Only of things that are mine,” I murmur.
“And I’m yours?” She glances at me as I narrow my eyes.
“You have been mine since the first moment I met you. Remember that the next time a girl looks at you, and remember that I’m jealous. I might not be as strong as you physically, but I know people, and I will not hesitate.”
“Fuck, you’re kind of scary when you talk like that . . . and hot.” She laughs. “Fine, I’ll behave.”
My shoes dangle from her left hand as she walks, stopping occasionally to hoist me higher on her back. My feet never once touch the ground. Her hands are hard and protective on me, her body strong and soft against mine as I lean into her, snuggling into her back. I ache to feel her heat and curves pressed against me in another way. As I recall the way she touched me and how her mouth devoured me, I shiver.
“We are almost there,” she promises and speeds up, believing I’m cold.
“Lally.” I hesitate over my words, but then I decide to surge ahead and hope she doesn’t dump me on my ass. “Please don’t push me away this time.” It’s a hurt whisper from a child. I feel so stupid saying it, and when she stops, I close my eyes, waiting for her rejection.
She turns and slides me down her body, sitting me on a bench and crouching before me as she takes my hands. I can’tbring myself to look at her, but she reaches out and tips my chin up so I focus on her.
“Do you know why I hesitated tonight when I saw what the task was?” she asks softly.
I shake my head, feeling like I will cry if I open my mouth. She watches me, stroking my cheek gently, and that only makes it worse. “I was scared.” My mouth drops open, and she smiles sadly. “I thought I didn’t care if I lived or died. It’s why I was able to jump into each game so easily, but recently, I realized I want to live. I want to live so badly—not just for me or Evan, but for you. I didn’t want to leave you alone, and that scared me. I realized I could die tonight and leave you alone. I hesitated because of you.”
My heart flutters as her words burrow into that optimistic organ, hoping this means what I want it to mean. Tears fill my eyes as I stare at her.
She kisses them away. “You terrify me, Alice. You always have. You asked me not to push you away again . . . Do you want to know one of the reasons I did it in the first place? Why I stopped answering your calls? One look, baby, one snippet of my voice, and I knew you would know I was struggling. When no one else would, I knew you would because you know me in a way no one else ever has or will. I pushed you away so I could deal with it myself and I wouldn’t burden anyone else, but you wouldn’t let me, my stubborn girl, would you? You didn’t let me struggle through this alone, did you?” I wince, prepared for her anger, and she looks destroyed, as if me anticipating her venom kills her.
