Page 15 of Murder & Mayhem
“Jamie?” Dominic turned back to me when he realized I didn’t follow him.
I couldn’t answer, staring at the yellow door like it would somehow come to life and attack me.
There was a closet in the hallway that ran between the front room and the rest of the house. It was narrow and dark with no light in it. A coat closet maybe, but there had never been any coats in there. Nothing but a chain bolted into the wall with a leather cuff attached to it. That cuff would be locked around the ankle. There was no real point to it. The multiple locks and chains made the door impossible to open, but the cuff would always be put on anyway, so tight that it would chafe and bleed, even when I stayed really, really still.
I couldn’t go inside. I was a fucking coward and a poor excuse for a brother, but I . . . I couldn’t do it. I’d thought going back to Joey’s house would be hard, but it had been nothing compared to this. I clutched at my throat as a whimper escaped me that I was unable to push down. I was such a fuckup. Bailey deserved so much more than me. My knees felt weak and I shook on unsteady legs as I struggled to get a breath. Why was it so hard to breathe?
It didn’t matter that I couldn’t see the closet; I didn’t need to have eyes on it to have it so clearly in my mind’s eye. I wasback there, curled up and in pain, trying my best not to cry because that always made everything worse.
“Jamie?” A worried voice interrupted my spiral. I snapped my eyes to him wildly, ready to fight, half in the present, half back in my nightmare, having no clue what was reality and what wasn’t.
I fell to my knees in the overgrown front yard, something hard cutting into my skin when I landed. I ignored it, gasping for air. I had to get out of here. But Bailey, I couldn’t leave Bailey. Maybe he was better off without me . . .
“Jamie. Come back to me, beautiful.”
Beautiful.
Of all the shit I’d been called over the years, no one had called me beautiful before. Not until Dominic. The dangerous murderer I should be terrified of but for some reason wasn’t. The man I should be doing everything in my power to get away from, yet I kept following him like a lost puppy, hoping he’d fix my problems. It was reckless, a mistake in the making, yet I couldn’t stop. I’d gotten in the car with him. Then, I’d followed him to this house that held even more nightmares for me than Joey’s place.
Yet, this man had some kind of hold on me because I obeyed his words instantly, pulled out of whatever partial flashback, nightmare bullshit I’d been stuck in, and now the only thing I saw were those dark eyes that were staring deep into my soul, seeing me in a way no one ever had before.
Relief flashed in them as I started to come back. “That’s it. Good boy. Breathe, sweetheart. Nice and easy. There you go, like that.” Dominic was kneeling on the ground next to me, probably ruining his clothes. I stared at the muddy grass stains that were forming more and more by the second. How did you even get grass stains out? Would he be mad? Why couldn’t I stop thinking about his fucking pants?
“Jamie, look at me, beautiful. Let me see those pretty, sad eyes, please.” There was some kind of desperation to his tone that made me listen immediately. He sounded worried, and even in my fucked-up state, I understood that I didn’t want Dominic to worry. His expression had me sucking in another deep breath, the sudden burst of air burning my lungs. He had taken off his sunglasses and had them pushed up on the top of his head.
He looked so good. The thought scared me almost as much as going into that house. Dominic smiled, and holy shit, I was a goner. I wanted to do everything in my power to keep that smile on this face. “Thank fuck. You’re back.”
My cheeks heated with sudden embarrassment. Why did I keep doing this? “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong. I swear I’m not usually like this.”
I was a totally functional adult most days. Mostly. I could at least get through my fucking day without having a panic attack. At night, well, that was a whole different thing, but I’d already shred myself bare for this fucking stranger. I wasn’t telling him that.
Thankfully, I saw no pity on Dominic’s face, only understanding. Which, maybe he did understand. He hadn’t gone into any details, but I was pretty sure he and his brothers’ lives hadn’t been all sunshine and rainbows either.
“There’s nothing to apologize for. This is a lot.”
I glanced at the rickety doorway behind me, wondering if anyone was even home. Dominic and I weren’t being quiet or inconspicuous. If someone was there, they knew we were too by now, yet no one came outside. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.
Dominic was waiting for me to respond, so I gave a short nod, not sure what I was supposed to be responding to. My head was swimming, and the start of a migraine was forming.When was the last time I’d eaten?Fucking hell, Jamie, get your shit together. For Bailey.
“I’m okay,” I lied, though neither of us believed that. “I just, I remembered some things. But I’m good now.”
Dominic didn’t fall for that bullshit. He glared at me skeptically. “Jamie, there’s no shame in you needing to wait here. I’ll go check the place, and if Bailey’s in there, I’ll get you.”
It was so damn tempting. I had no idea if I could actually get my feet to walk inside that house of horrors, but the thought of Bailey being there, alone and scared, wondering if I’d gotten his message and was looking for him had me shaking my head. I’d let my brother down most of his life. I wouldn’t do it now.
“No. Bailey—if he’s in there, he’s gonna be terrified and he’ll need to see someone he can trust. It needs to be me.”
Dominic wanted to argue. I could see it. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell me no and order me to stay out here. I wasn’t sure why he didn’t. Maybe it was because he knew I had a point, or maybe he realized he had no right to tell me what to do. We were strangers who’d come together under bizarre and complicated circumstances. That was all. He had no hold over me, and if I kept saying it, I’d believe it.
Finally, Dominic nodded sharply and stood. “Fine, but if at any time you need to leave, then do it. I swear to fuck, boy, don’t push yourself. I’ll knock you out and drag you outta there myself if I think I need to.”
My issues ran deep because all his little speech did was give me warm and fuzzy feelings deep in my core. Not that I wanted to be knocked out, but he seemed to genuinely be worried, and wasn’t that something?
“Got it. Let’s go. The longer I stand here, the more I’ll freak out.”
Probably not the right thing to say, but luckily, Dominic letit go. He sighed heavily and started to mutter something I couldn’t make out. He walked back onto the porch with the same confidence he’d had the first time, fished his earbuds out of his pocket, and put them back into his ears. Then he turned toward me.
Each step to Dominic felt like I was wading through waist-deep mud, but somehow I got to the front step of the broken-down porch. Dominic held his hand out for me, and I stared at it like touching it would infect me with something.
